12 Signs You’re Not Ready For Marriage

Ouch! Did she just say that?  Oh yes I did. A lot of times we think we’re ready for marriage simply because we’re a certain age, we’ve made money, we know how to cook etc. Now don’t get me wrong, these things are part of it, but they are not the only yardsticks for one’s readiness for marriage. Today, I’m looking at readiness for marriage from the maturity angle. Marriage is not for “kids” neither is it “child’s play”. It’s for two willing and mature adults. It takes a lot more than “love”. Maturity is also important. Again, maturity is not a product of age but your mindset, understanding and exposure.  Join me as we do a little soul searching to see just how ready we are for marriage. Happy Reading!!!

   1)    You Always Want Things to Go Your Way

  

For real? Is she serious? Oh yes I am. Only babies insist on having their way all the time. And when things don’t go their way, they pout, whine, throw tantrums and become unbearable. Insisting things must be done just the way you like it all the time is childishness. Grow up! Learn to reason things with the other person and reach a compromise for the good of both of you. Marriage is all about compromise you know.

  2)  You Can’t Handle Your Anger

   

Conflicts, disagreements and quarrelling are part of life, relationships and yes, marriage. They will always arise. Maturity is the ability to handle these without the relationship being destroyed. Anger management is serious business. If you still go haywire destroying things and beating people up in the name of anger, you’re obviously not ready for marriage. Your spouse and kids will do many things to offend you when you eventually get married, what will you do then? Beat them up to death???

  3)  You Still Find it Hard To Forgive

   

For any relationship or marriage to stand the test of time, it needs a lot of forgiveness. Let’s face it, like Jesus said, “offences will come”. You will offend your spouse many times unintentionally and vice versa. If you’re still into keeping malice for days, getting even (revenge/do me, I do you) and always digging up past issues, all these will eventually destroy your marriage. Still find it hard to forgive? God gives grace to those who ask.

 4)  You Use “It’s Over” at the Slightest Provocation

    

This one is a big no no! If you find that at the slightest provocation in your relationships, you use words like “it’s over”, “I’m done”, “Get out of my life”, “I hate you” etc, you’re not ready for marriage one bit. Why must every disagreement you have end with these words? When you eventually get married it will graduate to “I’m divorcing you”. Delete these nasty words from your vocabulary. Mature people try to settle their differences. They do not bail out at the slightest provocation.

  5)  You’re Not Ready To Give Up Your Freedom

   

Bombshell! Is marriage a prison yard then? Before you crucify me, hear me out. Being in a relationship/marriage with someone has its own rules. It’s different from being single. When you’re single, you can do whatever you like without considering anyone’s feelings, needs etc. Relationships/marriage have side effects (some amount of your freedom). You can’t make certain decisions without letting the other party know. You can’t stay out late or make certain journeys without having someone ask you why (sometimes it feels like interrogation lol). If you’re not ready for these side effects, you’re definitely not ready for marriage.

  6)  You’re Not Ready To Share

Marriage requires sharing on a largeeeee scale. You share your space, time, money, ideas, body etc with your spouse and eventually your kids. Some people want to share their time but not their money and vice versa. Wake up! If you’re not ready to share, you might as well remain single. Mature people understand that love is sharing and sharing means sharing everything.

And this is where the soul searching for today ends. So you said 12 signs…where are the remaining six? Easy! Watch out for the remaining six. Or how do they say it: to be continued….(lol). Just chew on these six for now. Search your soul and see where you need to make adjustments. xoxo

PS: Wickedness is when you read this and refuse to share it. You never can tell who’ll be needing it. So share! Share! Share! Comments are always welcome.

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