The identity of a tree is known not only by how it looks, but by the fruit it bears.
Shout
out to all my dream/vision chasers reading this post; keep chasing those dreams
for that is the only way to stand out in life. Today’s post is dedicated to all
those who are in love or dating someone presently. In the context of this
blogpost, when I say “boyfriend”, I mean a guy you’re dating okay so let’s not
get things mixed up. Ehen! Sister mi, let’s do some soul searching together;
let’s take stock of that relationship you’re in to be sure you’re on the right
track and not headed for a disaster. That guy you’re dating, is he really your
friend or is he a thorn in your flesh???
Ehn Ehn, I didn’t ask you if you love him or if he loves you; it’s a
question of his effect in your life or why do you think Matthew 7:16 says “by their
fruits you shall know them…”? I’ll walk you through some things that will
help you think properly and decipher if he’s really your boyfriend or a thorn
in your flesh so you’ll know what to do. So sit tight, make yourself
comfortable and scroll down to read more.
Boyfriend vs Thorn
A
friend is someone you enjoy being with who helps you, supports
you and adds value to your life. A
thorn is someone who constantly hurts you, chokes you, makes life
uncomfortable and unbearable for you
to the point that you can’t focus properly in life. Now you know what these are,
the question is: is he supporting you and
adding value to your life or is he doing the opposite as well as hurting, choking, and making life
unbearable for you? If you can thoughtfully and truthfully provide answers to
these, you’ll be able to tell if he’s your friend or a thorn in your flesh.
Signs that he’s indeed
a boy friend
Remember
girl, the compound word “boyfriend” is made up of “boy” (which signifies his
gender) and “friend” (which signifies that he is a friend not just in name but
in actions). Here are a few signs that he is indeed a friend:
- He accepts you for who you are but encourages you to be better,
- He supports your dreams and aspirations with encouragement and otherwise,
- He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a loving manner,
- Since he came into your life, you have improved in many ways and you’re still improving,
- When you think about a future with him, you’re not scared.
Signs that he’s a thorn
in your flesh
Thorns
are plants, just like any other plant formed by God. Why they were made, I do
not know; but they exist anyway. If you’ve ever been pierced by a thorn, you
know just how “sweet” romance with a thorn can be. Here are a few signs that
you’re dating a thorn:
- He likes you but doesn’t accept you for who you; he constantly nags you to change not for the better but to become someone he has in mind,
- He doesn’t support your dreams and aspirations but wants you to give them up if you really love him,
- He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a destructive, belittling, and demeaning manner,
- Since he came into your life, people say you’re a shadow of yourself; all you’ve become is a fearful puppet he controls with threats and so on,
- When you think about a future with him, you’re SCARED and hoping he would change someday.
Which one is he?
All I’ve done is showing you the signs, now you should be able to tell which one he is. If you discover that you’re dating a boyfriend who is truly a friend, congratulations! I’m happy for you and I hope it leads to something better. But if you discover you’re dating a thorn in flesh disguised as a boyfriend, oh girl, YOU’RE IN AN EMERGENCY.
How long will you endure the piercings of a thorn? Until it destroys you completely abi? Okay ooooo. She who drinks poison in a bottle of coke praying and hoping that it doesn’t hurt or kill her eventually is either mad, blind or on a suicide mission and I’d like to believe you’re not. A word, they say, is enough for the wise. Xoxo
P.S- If you’re reading this and you’re a guy, the same thing applies to you big time. Click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version. Have a sweet week.
Are
you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship
matters and life in general? E-mail me
on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.