4 People in Your Man’s Life You Need on Your Side

Love alone is not enough; you need wisdom to sustain and maintain every relationship.

TGIF!!! It’s another Friday and even though I may not be going to some fun place this weekend, just knowing that the weekend is here always creates this feel-good feeling. Aha! I know you’re soooo in love with him and you feel like nothing can come between both of you because of the love you feel. You feel like your love can surmount any obstacles that could ever come your way. All you need is him and all he needs is you…  But in reality, there are four people in your man’s life who you need to get on your side if your relationship or marriage must go smoothly without unnecessary strain here and there. And these people are:

His Mum

Should I shout this or scream this for you to understand? His mum is the number one female in his life and what she says weighs tonnes in the ears of your man. She gave birth to him and nurtured him till this point. She is one strong ally you need for your relationship to last. Why? When she’s on your side, she’ll see to it that he doesn’t bring any other woman home and she’ll rally round the other family members to support you. She’ll encourage him to treat you right and even marry you, emphasizing how much of an angel you are. And when you quarrel, she’ll encourage and prod him to reconcile with you. Also, she knows things about him that you may not presently know and she could give you more tips on how to handle him.

His Favorite Female Sibling(s)

After his mum, another strong ally you need on your side is his favorite female sibling e.g his sister or cousin. I’m talking about that sibling he loves so much whose words, opinion and counsel he values. Why? He’s most definitely going to ask them what they think or feel about you and if they’re on your side, they help reinforce his feelings for you by letting him know how blessed he is to have you. If they’re not on your side, all they’ll point out when he asks them what they think of you are your flaws and all the reasons why you’re not good enough for him.

His Best Buddy

I’m sure he has a lot of buddies as you’ve come to know, but if you know him well enough, you’ll know that there’s one out of them who he considers to be his best buddie. I’m talking about that one friend whose counsel and opinion he values and to whom he runs when he’s got a few issues and needs help. You need to have a cordial relationship with this buddy of his. Why? When he’s on your side, you’re no longer just his friend’s girl/wife but “our girl/wife” so when they’re out, he’ll defend your cause before eager, seductive, man-hunting females and gladly let them know he’s taken or married.

His Pastor or Mentor

His pastor or mentor plays a huge role in his life too especially with regards to his future pursuit. Your man most likely values his pastor/mentor’s counsel and though this does not determine his love for you, it will affect any future steps he may intend to make with you (especially with regards to marriage).

The Ball is Now in Your Court

Yes dear, the ball is now in your court. Proverbs 13:15 says “Good understanding wins favour…” Nothing just happens; favour doesn’t just come, how you behave towards these people also affects if they will treat you with favour or not. You need to consciously and prayerfully seek their favour if your relationship with him must last and experience minimal troubles. “Who cares? I don’t need them anyways. We love each other and that’s all that matters”, goes the thought in your heart. Girl, that’s a very naïve thinking and that can only be possible if he doesn’t have this four classes of people in his life or if he has no regard for them. These people are the key players in your man’s life and just like pulling off any deal requires the support of key players, you require them to be on your side. Ask any mature married female and she’ll give you a better picture of what I mean. The good news is, with God on your side, prayers and wisdom plus good behavior, it’s a win-win for you all the way. You know why you need God? Because “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he causes even his enemies (those who dislike him) to be at peace with him” (proverbs 16:7). Addios bebes!

P:S: If you’re a guy reading this, the people in your girl’s life you need on your side are her parents, her siblings, the people whose opinion and counsel she values, and most especially, her pastor/mentor. Have a fulfilling weekend.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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More Than a Female; More Than a pretty face

All of us are born female but becoming a woman takes a process of time, exposure and experiences that lead us to maturity.

Yayyyyyy! Welcome to the month of my birth…the month that gets me sooo high and gets me feeling like a superstar *wink*. I’m proudly a June baby which means that by God’s grace I’ll be a year older this month. Special shout out to all June babies reading this post. This month, the central theme of all upcoming blogposts is “More than a female; more than a pretty face”. What does this mean? Blogposts this month will be geared at helping you become more than a female and more than just a pretty face. 

 It’s one thing to be a female and a whole different ball game to be a woman. To be a female requires that you be genetically female and probably have those things above and below that physically differentiate females from males. In fact, these days we have transvestites who switch their gender to become female. By the time they’re done with all the clinical procedures, everything about them in the physical would convince you they’re “female”. So you see, being female is tied to your physical outlook. Becoming a “woman”, however, connotes maturity not just physically, but in all dimensions (emotionally, financially, spiritually etc). Can you see the difference now?

What’s Your Selling Point?

In a competitive world like ours, your selling point is the leg on which you stand. And even though we’re all unique and no one is truly completely like another individual, it is your selling point that stands you out and get’s you noticed. Now, when I say selling point, I’m not talking of your physical assets. You know why, someone will always be taller, bustier, fairer, prettier, more sophisticated, even if you decide to enhance you looks via cosmetic procedures.

Don’t just be a pretty face; don’t just have a sexy body; don’t just be another female. No one buys a bottle of coke just because they love the shape of the bottle. They buy it because they love the taste of its content. CONTENT!!! If your physical outlook is like the empty coke bottle, then your character, ability and capabilities are like the content of the coke bottle. Let your selling point be the content within you. That’s what makes you more than a female and more than a pretty face. Don’t get me wrong, being a pretty face is good. But it isn’t enough.

Take Conscious Steps Become More than a Female

This month, take conscious steps to becoming a woman. Remember being a woman has nothing to do with your physical age, size or looks; that’s actually part of being female. Becoming a woman is all about maturity. Expose yourself to anything that makes you a better woman. Change the company you keep if you have to. Read books, attend seminars and programmes that make you better. Work out your dreams, vision and potential. Be beautiful, have some brains/be skillful in all you do so you don’t become a dumb blonde or a beautiful nonsense. Make that money, be resourceful and useful everywhere you go. Find out three things you need to get before you get a man here. You need it on your way to becoming more than a female and more than a pretty face. xoxo

P.S: Keep your eyes on this blog for more posts that will make you more than a female and more than a pretty face this month. Also watch out tomorrow for excerpts from two women’s conferences I attended recently that will surely do you good.