One habit most men complain they dislike most
in women is nagging. When a man classifies you as a nag, he tunes out whatever
you’re saying which leads to more nagging from you, more tuning out from him
and the vicious cycle continues till the relationship is the worse for it.
Nagging comes naturally to we ladies (I don’t
know why). It’s something we do without thinking twice. We tell the men something;
they don’t do it, so we repeat it again and again, each time in a louder,
harsher and nastier tone thinking that will stampede them into doing what we want.
Simply put, nagging is repeating a matter / request over and over again that it
becomes irritating and agitating to the person listening.
Why We Nag
No lady loves to be called a nag. In fact,
when these guys accuse us of nagging, we often deny it because we feel we’re
just expressing ourselves over a matter that’s important to us which they don’t
seem to be doing something about. If nagging is so detrimental to relationships,
why are we caught in this web? I guess it’s because what men call nagging is perceived by ladies as expressing
oneself or trying to make a point.
So when they accuse us of nagging, we think “Who’s nagging? I’m expressing
myself” or “You just don’t like it when I tell you the truth because the truth
is bitter!” This just goes to show that the male and female species think
differently, doesn’t it?
Usually, when we “nag”, we do it to express
what we feel in a way that they (guys) will know how bad it makes us feel and
probably make a positive change. No offence meant, just self expression right?
The efficacy of any line of action depends on the resultant effect. So the big
question is; what good has nagging done anyone?
What Guys Define Nagging As?
I got the opinion of some guys on what nagging
means to them and they had this to say: Nagging is…
- When she keeps talking about it after I’ve assured her I’m gonna fix it.
- Unnecessary complaints (Wow, which complaints are unnecessary and necessary? I no know o).
- Complaining over everything and every matter. Must she complain all the time?
- Complaining over little things and being unappreciative.
- Repeating an issue over and over again.
- Shouting continuously over a matter or speaking harshly even after I’ve apologized.
(Ha! Oh girl, e be like say these men no want
make we dey express ourselves freely o!).
From what they said, I guess it’s clearer to
you what a guy means when he says you’re nagging.
How Do Guys React To Nagging?
The guys I
spoke to gave me their honest reactions to nagging. Check them out below:
- Ah! I can’t stand nagging at all. If she’s a girlfriend, I’ll run from her. If she’s my wife (God forbid), I’ll avoid getting into discussions with her most times and I might even stop inviting friends over.
- It makes me grow increasingly silent towards her and it will make me minimize having anything serious to do with her.
- I get silent.
- It makes me feel she isn’t listening to my promise to fix the issue at hand and this makes me act stubborn.
- I express my displeasure in the nicest way I can. But in the worst case scenario, I ignore/scold her.
Wow! Such
unpleasant reactions we’ve got here. I guess it shows that “nagging” doesn’t
achieve the results we hoped it would right?
Let’s Face It, Nagging Does Us
No Good!
For us ladies, it’s easier to “nag”
especially when we’re angry or we’ve been telling these guys to do something
over and over again and it still doesn’t get done. We feel the anger rising
within us and the next impulse is to raise our voices and give it to them like
it’s hot. But after we’ve done that, what’s the result? Usually, it leads to more
chaos, quarrelling, fights, a deteriorating communication plus a deteriorating relationship.
No one likes to be shouted at or scolded continuously over a matter. How about
we just quit this habit???
Time To Remove The Beam in Our
Eyes
Girlfriend, it’s time to give up this nagging
habit because it’s just making things worse. There are better ways to express
oneself than nagging. If you’ve talked about it twice, it’s Ok. You don’t have
to repeat it over and over again. Anything more than that would be nagging.
What about that harsh tone we always use that
cuts like a knife? Dump that too. That’s a man you’re talking to, not your
subordinate. Start taking notice of the patterns that lead you to nag. Make a
choice to dump nagging. Ask God for the grace to make this change (he never withholds
grace from those humble enough to ask). Then watch the guy in your life testify
that there’s a change in you as the nagging habit fades away.
What if he keeps doing stuff that makes you
wanna go ballistic on him and nag the hell out of him? Take a deep breath, bite
that tongue, choke the venom boiling within and say it as nicely as you can
instead. And if you can’t speak nicely at that time, hold it off till when you
can. If he says he’ll handle it, it means he’ll handle it. If it seems he’s
delaying according to your standards, a gentle reminder once is Ok. If you get
the urge to remind him daily so he could do it earlier, take your reminder to
God who turns the hearts of kings where he wills and watch what happens.
Love y’all
P.S: Phew.
May God help us all as we make the journey to quit nagging. If you enjoyed this
post, don’t be stingy. Share it on facebook, twitter and all your social media
apps. xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment