Before You Reveal That Secret…

Everyone has a few secrets (or should I say skeletons in the cupboard? Lol). Secrets are supposed to be kept secret. But there’s something about friendship, the right atmosphere and a good listening ear that tempts and prompts us to reveal our secrets. Usually, this happens in the process of gisting (or amebo *wink*) or when the person just revealed a delicate matter/secret about themselves. It then becomes of a game of “tell me your secret and I’ll tell you mine” after which we try to do a little damage control by saying “please keep this between me and you”.

Truth be told eh, there are some secrets that are too hot and spicy to be kept to oneself. It’s part of the human nature (or is a female thing???). Immediately you hear it, there’s this itch to share it with someone else and you have to practically restrain yourself from exposing the secret. Some people have mastered the art of restraining themselves from spilling the beans. A lot of people have not. And we all know how it feels when you find out that a person you confided in has revealed your secrets. You feel betrayed, exposed and vulnerable. You feel stabbed and wounded.

Now you just got a new friend, you guys are getting closer, confiding in each other more and you’ve gotten to the point where you feel free enough to share secrets. But before you reveal that secret, here are a few things you should consider if you don’t want to experience betrayal season 3:

First Find Out if She Can Keep A Secret

Instead of asking her if she can keep a secret, test her to see if she can truly keep a secret. Tell her a lighter secret (something you won’t feel bad about incase it’s exposed) and see if it becomes a public gist or if she uses it against you in some way. Remember 1 John 4:11 says “…believe not every spirit but test every spirit…”

Mind Who You Confide In

We reveal lot of secrets about us in the process of confiding in people who we think can advise us. It’s Ok to seek for advice or counsel but you should mind who u confide in. Make sure they are mature enough to keep their mouth shut and that they are trustworthy.

3 People You should Never Reveal Your Secret To Even If They’re Friends

• ·         Miss Slip-of-the-Tongue

She always manages to tell you delicate secrets about other friends/her family and claims it was “a slip of the tongue”.

• ·         Miss CNN

She is the local broadcaster with all the latest gist and info about the people in her neighbourhood, church, school etc. Every time you talk with her, she starts with “have you heard…” and goes on to give you updates on people’s lives. You will be the subject of her gist someday, even if you guys are the best of friends.

• ·         Miss The-Day-We-Quarrel-I’m-Gonna-Disgrace-You

You’ve been friendly for a while and you’ve noticed that each time she quarrels with anyone, she goes on to tell whoever cares to listen at the top of her voice all kinds of nasty things about them. If you share your secret with her, just make sure you never quarrel with her otherwise, you’re a goner.

The Best Kept Secret

 

The best kept secret is the one you keep with yourself. That person you call your best friend may have someone else she calls a best friend. Just like you said it to her and begged her to keep it between the two of you, she’ll say it to that friend and make the same plea and the vicious cycle continues. You know why? Bad news spreads like wild fire. If you can’t risk it getting exposed to a third ear, then keep it to yourself. You are not obliged to reveal your secrets.

A wonderful week to us all.