Instead of playing the blame game, check to see if you’re responsible for it too…selah
In
one of the popular fairy tales (I can’t remember the name, I think it’s the
frog prince), a princess kisses a frog and he turns into a sweet handsome
prince. Wow! As much as we wish that would happen in real life, most times
kissing a frog, so to speak, does not turn him into a prince. Today’s post is
dedicated to those who’ve not been so “lucky” in relationships; those who’ve
been in a lot of relationships that came to an abrupt end. If this is your
story, you’ll agree with me that you get to that point where you begin to
wonder: Is it me or is it the guys I pick??? It’s
quite easy to blame it on the guys you’ve dated so far by saying “they were not
the right one for me that’s why”. But before you give yourself these excuses
once again, let’s look at things closely to be sure you don’t have a hand in creating
this vicious cycle.
Check
out some factors that may be contributing to the vicious cycle of dating all
the wrong men still running its course in your life.
Your Love For The “Six
Pack”
Yes
ke, who doesn’t love the guy with the six-pack (by six-pack here I mean a guy
who has a good build and also looks good)? I mean, why shouldn’t we have a
crush on him or even love him? The truth sis is: if having a six-pack is your
prerequisite for picking a man, then you’ll be hanging out with a lot of
six-packed frog princes so to speak. His six-pack doesn’t guarantee that he
will treat you right in that relationship. It does guarantee one thing though:
you’ll look good in photos and get an award as “the girl friend of the
six-packed hunk”. Redo your checklist for picking a prospective partner to
include lasting characters that make for a good relationship and you’ll no
longer be stuck with kissing six-packed frog princes.
The Places You Go To
(Your Social Circle)
Your
social circle kind of restricts those you’ll meet. There are certain places you
go to that make you prone to meeting guys who are only after having fun, players,
low-lifes and the likes (I’ll leave you to figure out such places for
yourself). If you keep going to a bad well to fetch water, don’t complain when
all you keep getting is dirty water. Sweety, if you’re tired of meeting these
unserious and unpleasant people, change the places you go to; change your
social cycle.
You Give Your Heart Too
Soon
Sometimes,
when we feel we’ve found “the man of our dreams”, it fills us with so much joy
that we give our heart, love and even our bodies too soon only to discover that
he’s not that into us. What started as a prospective wonderful relationship
then becomes a nightmare due to unrequited love, cold shoulders from the guy
etc. Girl friend, don’t be in a haste to bring out all your wifey skills and
switch to wifey mode when a relationship is just starting out. Even though you
guys are now dating, it’s not a done deal cuz he’s still observing and rating
you to see if he wants to stick with you. So, if he discovers you’re not really
what he wants, he may leave you high and dry, despite all the love you’ve been
showing him. This could be the reason you’ve been ditched serially all this
while.
You’re in Love With “Bad
Guys”
Okay,
before you accuse me, “bad guys” here means all those fly guys with a lot of
swag who know how to put it on you and make you feel great as a lady but also
come with a baggage of VICES. The best metaphor to describe them would be buying
poison in a cute bottle or can and drinking it only to start feeling the sting
afterwards. Ideally, one would think any sane and intelligent lady won’t fall
into the trap of these “bad guys” but in reality, MANY cute intelligent ladies
get involved with these guys. If you find that you’ve dated more bad guys than
you can count, it may be because you’re in ‘love’ with such guys and how they
make you feel. To tell the truth, these guys know how to make a lady feel good
but when they start dishing out their other side, all we wanna do is RUN! For
more on this, click here.
A History of Abuse
When
you’ve suffered some form of abuse in your past, especially while growing up
either directly or indirectly, you may come to a point where you’re comfortable
with enduring nasty treatment in relationships. A history of abuse increases
your tolerance (threshold) for nasty treatment in certain aspects and may even
create mascochism in your life. If this is your case, you may have found
yourself making this kind of excuses:
- He’s the only one who loves me in the world and I don’t wanna lose him
- He’s nasty/abusive to me or beats me I caused it and because he loves me.
- I’ve suffered worse things and they didn’t kill me so I’ll endure it.
And
now you’re wondering why all the guys you’ve dated so far have been nasty to
you and you’re probably even settling for the idea that love and life is all
about pain.
Is That All?
No
dear, there’s more to come. Watch out for the rest of the factors (five more
actually) that have kept you in the vicious cycle of dating frog princes
tomorrow. Keep a date with us for the sequel to this juicy post. xoxo
P.S- Shout out to all the good men
who treat their women right; watching you do your gives us hope and makes life
beautiful. If you’re reading this from a mobile device, click view web version to see the wonderful features of the
blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version.
Are
you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship
matters and life in general? E-mail me
on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.