5 Reasons Why a Good Man Will Leave You

Happy weekend to all newbies and faithfuls of the blog! This post is actually a sequel to an earlier juicy post 5 reasons a good woman will leave you. As I promised, in this post, the guys are letting us understand the reasons why a good man will leave you while yours truly will keep her lips sealed and listen (yes today I’m a student on this post). Two guest bloggers Hussein Jethro Sule and Dalan Cbn Dalan will give us their 5 reasons why a good man will leave any woman. Not only that, the views of a few guys on the matter that were kind enough to give us their responses will also be featured here. Have fun reading this eye opening post.

Warning: It’s gonna be a long read because of the views of different guys sampled here but I guarantee you, you won’t regret reading it one bit. So, brace yourself up and read, read, read!

Hussein Speaks…

A good man is a man that is good and if a good man is dating any woman I do not see any reason why he would leave her except she is so carnally minded. But here are some tips to help the ladies:

1. When you do not support his vision: A man who has vision will always desire a woman who can support that vision not destroy it. But where the woman is always kicking against his vision via words and actions, he’ll stop discussing it with her and that’s a sign that she is on her way out of his life. 
2. When you are troublesome: If you always nag, quarrel and get angry with your man at every instance, get ready to leave his life. The bible says it in these words “it’s better to dwell in a corner of a house top, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” You don’t need to contend with your man, understand him and you will know how to handle him. 
3. Pride and selfishness: If you are a proud woman and not ready to change, you will soon fall because pride goes before a fall. If you always go to the extent of exhibiting pride to him and you’re too obstinate to give in to change; he might just let you be. So also, if all you think about is “me, myself and I” you will soon lose him. This attitude makes him so sure you’ll be selfish to your own family and extend it to his family too and ultimately, his children and this is one thing he won’t take from you. 
4. Lies: If you are fond of lies, a good man will leave you. A good man is a man who loves God; God hates lies and a good man hates lies too. When you lie about virtually everything; you lie about your whereabouts, you lie about what’s happening, you lie about what you are doing. Aahh! Woman you are not just a liar, you are a LIE. 
5. Infidelity: If you want to “spread your hands and taste the waters” then be ready to lose your man. You can’t be jumping from one bed to another and expect to settle on the bed of a good man. He will never allow you. Marriage is not the cure for fornication; renew your mind and stay with God, not another relationship. If you still want to keep measuring/tasting men or looking for a suitable match for yourself; you will not get a good man and if you do, your character will not keep him.

I want to believe that this has taught you a good lesson; note your weaknesses and work on them. God’s mercy erases all messes; if you’re guilty of any of these. Ask God for His mercy, ask him to forgive you and help you now and always. 

Dalan Cbn Dalan speaks…

Let me begin by saying that whenever a discussion or debate on relationships between young men and women comes up, I don't waste time trying to paint or add cosmetics to it. I always tell singles like me that relationships that would lead to marriage ought to be practical and being practical in this context means 'DOING THE RIGHT THING'. Having said all this, here are some of the Reasons why good and God-fearing men leave their women.

•  Lack of Respect:The truth is that men generally are egoistic. In other words, they have this pride in them that should be respected (privately or publicly) by their girlfriend or wife. You know what, either the late Bob Marley or Lucky Dube (I’m not certain now) said something very profound, which is that where there is respect, then there is love. On the other hand, where there is love without respect, it amounts to hypocrisy. So, women who fail to respect their men may end up losing them to other women who know this secret. I believe that respect is reciprocal but women should learn to respect the man in their life.

•  Nagging: Personally, I don't like a nagging woman and I pray + hope I don't meet one as my future wife. So, women should learn to make their men happy, cheerful and use diplomacy when trying to ask them for something.

• Unfaithfulness: Any woman who keeps more than one relationship may end up losing all of them. Remember, a bird at hand is worth thousands in the bush. So, ladies should learn to keep one relationship and nurture it. Failure to do this would make her man look elsewhere.

• Lacking in Initiative: Initiative is the ability to do the right thing without being told. For instance, cooking an irresistibly delicious meal for him, washing some of his clothes some times, supporting him financially when he is down temporarily, giving him a warm hug whenever you meet him, praying for him, advising him to support his family, especially his mum and siblings, treating his family with courtesy and respect, praying sincerely for him are all things a sensitive and wise woman ought to do. Where a lady does all this without being told, it’s hard for a man to ever think of leaving her and where he does leave her, then he is a fool forever and nemesis will catch up with him. But if she does not have the initiative, then her man would be forced to look elsewhere.

Other things are gossip, too much pretence and being lousy.

Now let’s see what the other guys have to say….

Paul speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Lack of personal vision or dreams on the part of the woman

-Unwillingness to support my dreams/God’s calling for my life

-In ability to trust

-Lies

-Disobedience

Nathan speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Too materialistic and worldly

-Spiritually inconsistent

-Does not support my dreams/aspirations and is not comfortable with it or supportive

-Lies and inability to trust

-She doesn’t have dreams and aspirations of her own

Andrew speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Too cheap

-Always nagging and trying to cajole me into proposing to her

-Unserious with her life and life in general

-Exhibits bad character such as rudeness, arrogance, disrespect etc.

Chibuzo speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-She’s self-willed and hard headed; she feels she can do whatever she likes

-Unfaithfulness

-Neglects the words of the man and takes him for granted

-Doesn’t know how talk (lacks manner of approach)

Elijah speaks…

No relationship ever breaks up due to too much RESPECT. The major reason a good man will leave a woman is if she’s DISRESPECTFUL. Ladies should learn to boost their man’s ego VERY IMPORTANTLY.

Justice speaks…

My opinion on this is:

Lack of humility, dirtiness, unintelligence, the habit of over-demanding and stinginess as well as lack of sexual skillfulness are the reasons a man will leave a woman he feels deeply for. 

Oya now! You’ve heard it from the guys themselves. Oh men, na waoh. I notice some issues were kinda recurrent like disrespect, infidelity, and pride/lack of humility. Ladies, I trust that this post has opened your eyes in many ways. It will be wise if we all search ourselves to see if we’re guilty of any of these things before the good men in our lives start thinking of taking a hike. But seriously, what’s your opinion? Guys, do you agree with what they said? Ladies, let me know what you think. Comments Please! Have a lovely weekend.

Got questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

HusseinJethro Sule is the brothers coordinator and training coordinator of Word WYN. He lives in Abuja.

Dalan Cbn Dalan studied at Nigerian Law School, Kano and lives in Jos.

Running on E? Here’s What to Do

Last week, I talked about 5 SignsYou’re Running on E in order to enable you discover if life was getting you too stressed out and inching closer towards a breaking point. In this post, I’ll be sharing a few things you could do when you discover you’re at this point. Try any of them and I’m quite certain it will make a whole lot of difference. 

  

Write a list of the things bugging you and commit them to God

When you’re running on E, the usual thing is that you begin to notice the negative stuff and the things that aren’t working and they bug you even more so you feel more stressed out. Try writing out all the negative thoughts and feelings running through your head on a sheet of paper in order to get them out of your head. Don’t stop there; make it even better by committing them to God in prayer and asking him to deal with them. You’ll feel like you’ve gotten a heavy load of your head.

Write a list of the good things that happened to you recently and thank God for them

You could tag this list “how blessed I am” or “my list of blessings”; whatever name you choose, the aim is to get you to focus on all the good stuff that has happened to you recently and the good things presently existent in your life so you don’t get overwhelmed by your present sensitivity to the things that seem to be going wrong (remember that feeling stressed out has a way of making you focus on the wrong stuff and forget the things that are great about your life). That’s the reason why Phillipians 4:8 says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praise worthy – think about such things”.

Talk to someone about how you feel

Source: galleryhip.com

Remember the popular saying “a problem shared is a problem half solved”? Yea, this saying is actually so true. It even gets better when you talk to the right person (like a trusted friend who you know over time has always given you sound advice or a counselor) and not someone who’ll compound your issues with the insensitive things they say or turn your matter to the talk of town, Make it much more better by talking to God about how you feel; he’s cares about what you go through and is more than willing + able to help you out of that rut you’re in.

Get some good sleep

Seriously? Is she for real? Most definitely! Part of the contributors towards feeling stressed to the bone marrow is too much work/activities and too little sleep. Never under estimate the power of getting good sleep. Not only will your body be refreshed; your mind will feel the impact as well. So instead of burning the last fuel you’ve got in you, ignore everything and get some good sleep. If your weekly schedule won’t allow that, take advantage of the weekend to get it.

Do something that makes you feel energized

Exercise, play a competitive sport with someone, do something you love so much that always leaves you feeling joyful and relaxed. It’s amazing how these things release the right chemicals within you that will cancel out the stress. You’ve lived long enough to know by now the list of things that always leave you feeling exhilarated. These things kind of refuel your tank and make you feel lighter; kinda like recharging your batteries!

Worship God or attend a worship service

There’s always something energizing about worshipping God; you always leave his presence renewed, refreshed, energized and recharged. If you’re finding it hard to worship God by yourself, attend a worship service and as you worship alongside others present, you’ll leave there feeling refreshed.

Now it’s your turn

Did you like this post? Did you learn something from it? Share it with your friends and family so they can learn from it too. Got other things you do when stressed out that make you feel better? Don’t be stingy; share them in the comments section so we can all learn from you.

P:S – Watch out tomorrow for the juicy long anticipated post 5 Reasons Why a Good Man Will Leave You as the guys give us their take on the matter and yours truly takes the back seat. I promise you: it’s gonna be eye opening. Don’t miss it for anything in the world. Have a sweet day.

Got questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

TWISTS AND TURNS-EPISODE 4

Episode 4

Tamuno turned to Iye with an angry look, she had obviously forgotten where she was until she saw Osas handing over a small gift bag to Bukky. “This guy is really dubious”, she thought; how come she had not noticed the gift in his hand? And the meek Bukky was busy staring at the bag with surprise, she was obviously missing something but she couldn't place her hand on it.
 "Collect it now, or why are you staring at it that way", Tamuno said in an irritated tone. "You should learn to mind your business okay?" Iye replied her.
Bukky sat gently on the bed. She collected the gift slowly and her eyes never left his face. He had that rakish smile still intact and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. "Why am I feeling intimidated huh? Why did he place an embargo on our relationship? What happened to unconditional love ehn?" she screamed loudly in her head. She slowly placed it on the bed but knowing how busy bodied and sometimes shameless Tamuno could be, she trapped the gift and turned it over on the bed before anyone could stop her and even Osas was taken aback by her behaviour. Bukky's face felt really hot with embarrassment. Everybody's eyes popped in surprise as they saw the content on the bed.
 "Oh my God!" , Tamuno exclaimed. "Girl this is hot, I never knew you’ve gone way ahead of me in this game. What! This is the prettiest Victoria's secret bikini I have seen; imagine the perfume too, this must have cost you a fortune Osas." Tamuno said in her busy bodied tone. Bukky felt like entering the ground. Her pulse picked a faster pace, her temple had some sweat beads forming already. She couldn't believe the humiliation in front of her friends, which meant he would gladly tell the whole world what happened if she had slept with him.

Tamuno busied herself checking the stuff out but Iye was boiling in anger.
 "Osas or what do you call yourself, I think it’s time for you to go. I believe some things should have been done in private, at least give the girl some credit for Christ sake. I don't care about your relationship with my friend but I warn you to stay clear if you don't have her interest at heart." "Iye please let me handle this, I beg you." Bukky said looking embarrassed. "I doubt if you can, sweet heart I want the best for you and thus guy might be rich and sweet but he is definitely not a gentleman. Osas I beg you to leave now please. I wouldn't want to do anything stupid and don't try my patience."
"Bukky, why are you living with these crazy women huh! You should come with me now. I am just keeping quiet because of you. You’d ask your friend to tame her tongue or else..." "Or else what!" Tamuno cut in. "See forget the fact that I am acting weird, I am not a fool okay and like Iye said maybe you should go now. Bukky is too good for you, you are just a player. See I have seen the ugliest part of life but this girl here is still sweet and innocent and even if she goes hay wire, it wouldn't be with you, now get out." She ordered angrily.
Bukky already had tears in her eyes. "Ladies please stop talking to him like that, he is a nice person, it’s just a little misunderstanding that's all. Osas I’m soo sorry, my friends are not always like this okay? They are just being over protective of me that's all. Baby can we just go out and discuss this?" she said holding his hand but he shoved her away angrily.
"How dare you touch me here when you let your friends humiliate me, I warned you not to discuss our relationship with outsiders but it’s obvious you don't listen. I was thinking of giving you another chance but I really think it’s time to say good bye." "What! Oh common baby, why are you punishing me this way, you promised to love me no matter what, why are you doing this? Can't we start all over again?" she begged; but Iye was becoming impatient and Tamuno was in the mood to break someone's head.
"You lost your chance, I thought by now you should have more sense but it’s obvious you are still living in the analog generation. Life is digital and I have no business with you, keep the gifts, you might need them some day okay. I need a woman that keeps me going not a bore like you." Bukky stifled a cry that was about to erupt from her throat. Her vision was clouded by the tears in her eyes. She was oblivious of her surrounding and the next thing she heard was his car leaving with a screeching sound and her room mates cursing especially Tamuno.
Iye rushed to her side and wrapped her arms around her and the pent up tears fell in a torrent. Tamuno was not the emotional type. She had more of action in her. She had lost the softness to life's issues.
"God saved that boy. I thought he was a good man but then how could I have forgotten that good men exist only in novels. Bukky never you allow an abusive man into your life again. That guy would do anything to get what he wants, I hope you are not foolishly thinking he loved you? Well, you better not o. Advise him not to come here because I will break his head if he comes." Tamuno said fuming in anger. "Oh please, don’t talk like that. I know he’ll still be back, I know he loves me."
"What?!" They echoed in unison.

To be continued…

Find out what happened next as the story continues next Tuesday. Meanwhile, you can read older episodes below.

 
Episode 1 2 3

  Pheobe Omiwole is a motivational speaker and a talented writer who uses her pen and voice to affect the world and the lives of men. She also has a personal blog where she writes really inspiring stuff. Check out her blog on  http://www.pheobeomiwole.WordPress.com