EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

Yesterday, I talked about how to know a toxic relationship via its signs. Today, I'll be talking about the effects a toxic relationship has on you when you stay in it. Happy reading.

#1 - IT STEALS YOUR CONFIDENCE
The first thing a toxic relationship strikes at is your confidence. Through physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse, it erodes your confidence over time making you feel inadequate in one way or the other. Love is kind. Anyone who treats you nastily in the name of love does not truly love you. They may claim they do, but the truth is that people with dysfunctional behaviour cannot love you properly. Bishop Noel Jones once said that a lover cannot love you beyond his capacity to love. A violent man may love you, but will beat you to a pulp because that is his lifestyle. A womaniser will love you and cheat on you because womanising is his culture. Worse still, both of them will blame you for being the cause of their actions. He/she who falls in love with a scorpion or cobra should not complain when it stings/bites him/her.

#2 - IT STEALS YOUR ABILITY TO TRUST AND LOVE
Staying in a toxic relationship eventually destroys your ability to love and to trust. It brings you to the point where you can't trust anyone anymore and you give up on love to settle for flings, single parenthood or adopting a child. When you catch your self saying men/women are all the same, cannot be trusted or are wicked, it is because you've been in a toxic relationship directly or you've watched someone close to you suffer from a toxic relationship. And that's where the devil would like to keep you so you'll miss out on the beautiful future/marriage God has in store for you.

#3 - IT CORRUPTS YOUR MINDSET ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX
It's amazing how one or two toxic relationships can make you label the opposite sex negatively. Even though you've not dated or met all the men on the earth, a toxic relationship will make you say things like all men are liars and cheats etc. That is because a toxic relationship poisons your perspective about the opposite sex with time; even though in reality, all men are not the same.

#4 - IT CORRUPTS YOUR VIEW ABOUT MARRIAGE
The reason many people today are scared of marriage is toxic relationships. They've either been in one or watched a loved one suffer from one. So you hear people say things like 'marriage is a necessary evil', 'marriage is bondage/prison' and 'I'd rather remain single'. When you see a single person who intentionally chooses to remain single, it's usually because they've been badly poisoned/wounded by a toxic relationship.

#5 - IT STEALS YOUR ABILITY TO BE TENDER AND LEAVES YOU WITH HARSHNESS
Continually enduring the toxic behaviour in a toxic relationship completely erodes your ability to be tender and kind and replaces it with harshness in words and behaviour. So even when you enter a new relationship, your new love unfortunately can't get the best of you anymore. All that is left is a shadow of you filled with harshness. It takes God alone to undo the effects of a toxic relationship.

#6 - IT ALTERS YOUR SEXUALITY
A toxic relationship which involves sex tampers with your sexuality. It's either it leaves you frigid (unable to desire or enjoy sex) or it makes you a masochist who can't enjoy sex until it involves pain or violence. It may also make you a sex addict due to eroded self control because you now equate love with sex such that until a relationship involves sex, you can't believe that he/she loves you.

TAKE ACTION NOW
Poison is poison. Enduring a toxic relationship hoping that it will get better is surrendering your life to be an epitome of all these effects. When a drug's adverse effects outweighs its positive effects, the Doctor usually advises you to discontinue its use and recommends one with little or no side effects. The same thing applies to a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is not out rightly bad; there are a few positive things about it. However, its negative effects are more which makes it dangerous and unsuitable. The first step is to call of the relationship. The second step is to get help and allow God heal you, undo these effects and restore you. You don't have to end up alone and loveless. You can learn to love again and enjoy a healthy relationship. Better things await you in future. The only way to get off the road of destruction and get the future you desire is to retrace your steps and chart a new course. Xoxo

Do you need help with breaking out from a toxic relationship? Do you need healing and restoration from the effects of a toxic relationship? I'll be glad to help. Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

P. S. To know more about toxic relationships, click here, here, here, and here.

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