SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

The word 'toxic' means anything that's acts like poison or has the effect of a poison. Poison doesn't kill instantly; it takes time before it starts taking effect. However, some poisons are slower than others. There are relationships that are poisonous to your life and destiny. Such relationships gradually eat you up in diverse areas of your life until they succeed in snuffing life out from you. Today, I'll like to open your eyes to this by showing you signs of a toxic relationship.

1.ABUSE AND BATTERY
Abuse does not only refer to physical abuse or battery, it also includes emotional, mental or sexual abuse. Whether you're single or married, continued abuse and battery is toxic to your well being because it erodes your peace, your joy, your sanity, your confidence, your ability to function optimally and stay productive. What's worse, the longer you stay in it the more it destroys you.

2. IT TAMPERS WITH YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
When you're in a relationship with someone, and you begin to spend less time with God than you used to or your relationship with your family/ friends starts becoming cold, such a relationship (for single people) has become toxic. The right relationship will not reduce your love for God or zeal for his kingdom. It will also not stifle your relationship with your family or friends. It will instead enhance both.


3.SACRIFICING YOUR LIFE'S PURSUIT
Hello!!! There's more to life than dating o. There is a purpose for your life. A toxic relationship puts you in situations that make you sacrifice meaningful, purposeful life pursuits just to keep that relationship. When you're dating someone who clearly has a problem with your life pursuit (purpose/calling), it puts you in a fix where you have to choose between giving up your calling/purpose or lose the relationship. If you ever find yourself in that position, don't think twice before you pull the plug. The person you're dating is trying to become an Idol in your life by resisting God's purpose for your life, when he/she is supposed to be a helper. The last time I checked, God still hates it when we have idols (an Idol is anything or anyone who tries to control you to act in ways contrary to God's word, his ways or purpose). Sacrificing your life's pursuit may bring temporary peace in that relationship, but you will end up full of regrets here on earth and in the world to come.

4. THE RELATIONSHIP SEEKS TO CHANGE YOU TOTALLY
Before I say anything, let me clarify that in a relationship, there is room for helping each other become better people. However, when a relationship seeks to change you into what God did not ordain you to be, it is equal to witchcraft (manipulation). For instance, when the person you're dating keeps complaining that you're too noisy or too friendly and wants you to become as quiet as a graveyard (which is contrary to how God designed you), you're in a toxic relationship. The right person for you will love that aspect of you because he/she has grace for you. The wrong person will keep trying to amend/change everything about you.

5. YOU LOSE YOUR PASSION AND CONFIDENCE OVER TIME
Two things a toxic relationship erode over time are PASSION and CONFIDENCE. Check that relationship; has it drained your passion and confidence or have your passion and confidence increased because of the relationship? Whatever be your answer will let you know if you're in a toxic relationship or not.

SO WHAT NOW?
The essence of this post is to open your eyes to what a toxic (poisonous) relationship looks like. The opposite of a toxic relationship is a healthy relationship. No one eats poison and expects not to be poisoned. The end result of a toxic relationship is quite disastrous. A toxic relationship is not God's will for you. You lose a lot when you remain in such relationships. The best solution to a toxic relationship is to end it (just like the best solution to a drug with adverse reactions is to discontinue it's use). Receive strength and grace to walk out of that toxic relationship in Jesus name.


P.S. Keep a date with us tomorrow for the sequel to this post EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.

Are you in a Toxic Relationship? Do you need to talk about It? Or do you desire counsel for one reason or the other? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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