How to Spot THE MAN

INTRO
Today, we commence a new column called MAN TO WOMAN which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women. Today's topic is... 

How to Spot THE MAN
Written by Paul Aliyu

The definition of THE MAN in this recent age is a MALE who is above the “teen age”. The question today is, was that God’s perspective or idea of THE MAN when He said, “It is not good for THE MAN to be alone”? WHO and WHAT is the definition of THE MAN God was talking about in this context? If we can have a true understanding of this man, how sweet will our marriages and homes turn out to be! Listen to this: “The fact that he is a MALE does NOT make him THE MAN for you.” So what is the definition and perspective of THE MAN God meant (The Man for you)?

1. Men are not BORN; they are MADE

A man is not the man for you simply because he was born a male. He is the man for you because he has been able to grow himself into a man. Men are first of all born boys then they develop with time into men.

He does not qualify as the man for you because of his age, features or gender. He qualifies as the man for you as a result of what he constitutes mentally, character wise, and his ability to assume and handle the responsibilities of a man. Don’t be so much in a hurry to have the man or else you may end up having a matured boy who calls himself a man who is actually immature and half-baked. Make sure you see those attributes that a man (not a matured boy) should possess in Him. Failure to do so will end you in an immature or premature relationship which can bring about deformity in the relationship or marriage.

2. He will be Real (The Man was formed by God)

When God created man, He formed man. This means He gave him a shape and a structure that made him visible and describable. A man that God has ordained for you will always be real. He will be a man that you can easily define who he is in all ramifications. In other words, he will mean what he says and will say what he means. You will be able to regard him for his words and you will see and take him for WHO HE IS and not WHO HE CLAIMS TO BE.

The man that is meant for you will stand for what he says and take responsibilities for his actions. He will stand for truth, integrity, and honesty so as to live happily with you as the woman of his dreams. The man will not be two-sided or double-faced like the two-sides of a coin. He will be plain and real. His YES will be YES and his NO, NO!

3. He will be God-like (made in the image and likeness of God)

A friend asked me recently, “How do I know if the man is from God? I answered her by asking this question in return: “When you see a man’s child, you know he is the man’s child from the resemblance. Am I right?” she replied “YES!” When God wants to give you (His daughter) a man, He will give you a man that resembles Him. God is interested in giving you His best as His daughter. He will not give to you what will be below His standards. The best standard you can ever get is God’s standard.

The man God has in mind for you is a man that constitutes God’s attributes, nature and character. There is nothing you want in a man that is not in God. So God’s desire for you is for you to have a man that resembles Him; a man that possesses all that you have ever wanted in a man even without telling him (the man). A man made in God’s image and likeness.

NOTE: THE MANUFACTURER (in this case God) will always PRODUCE (give/answer) what will SATISFY the WANTS (taste/prayer points/desires) of the CONSUMER (his sons/daughters); even better that you can ever imagine.

4. He will LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY

God gave the man and the woman different responsibilities in marriage. Man was made to love the wife even unto the point of death. It’s so unfortunate that the WORLD gives a different definition to the LOVE the WORD of God talks about. Does he love you unconditionally, even unto the point of death? Does he get pissed off at your every offense and want to break up without thinking twice? Does he overlook and forgive your offenses? Does his love for you OUTWEIGH all your offenses? If he does not, then you need to have a re-think and possibly give him more time to GROW INTO A MAN before thinking of a relationship or marriage.

5. He must have discovered his God-given purpose

God decided to create the woman for a man so as to be a help-meet to him. Marrying a man who has not found his God-given purpose will amount to just becoming another woman by his side instead of a “help-meet”.

The primary intention of marriage is for two people (Man and Woman) to fulfill a particular assignment. When that assignment is taken off from marriage, marriage ceases to be marriage. Don’t just seek for any man; seek for a man with a purpose (a vision). Just as people perish for lack of vision, a marriage can perish too for lack of it. There is no point being with a man who cannot define why he needs you in his life. It is said that “Where there is no purpose, abuse is inevitable.” Refuse to be in his life just to bear children, cook for him, wash his clothes, for the pleasure of sex alone, etc. You were equipped beyond that! Don’t just try to be a man’s wife, woman, lab-rat or baby factory; rather, desire to be his help-meet. You have a role to play in his life, vision and assignment.

I always say that, the poorest man on earth is a man without a vision or purpose. A man with wealth but without purpose or vision will soon come to poverty. When a man has a vision and purpose, it might only take time to mature and maybe gather resources for execution of that vision but when all is set, the sky will be his spring board. Don’t just get attracted to his wealth, good looks, phonetics, etc but be glued to his vision and God-given assignment. That is the reason you are in his life. He should be RESPONSIBLE and WORKING (with a PURPOSE), busy accomplishing a purpose or birthing a vision that includes a special role for you as his wife the woman of his dreams.

6. God should be his utmost priority

When God created man, He made man out of dust. Man received life after God breathed into him. Man exists because of the breath God breathed into him.  So have this understanding that the good you can find in any man is because of the fear of God in that man. When you take God out of any man, he is bound to do any kind of evil without feeling any guilt for his actions. Take God away from any man and expect any kind of rubbish from him.

The man God plan for you as a woman is a man that sees God as the essence of his existence; a man with the fear of the Lord; a man that is willing to give everything up but not God. The more of God a man has, the more good you see in him. This makes your relationship with such a man peaceful and enjoyable. You are bound to enjoy marriage to a man whose heart is given to God, owned by God and has the fear of God. Run from a man that puts you first before God. Such a man can hurt you without thinking twice because the fear of God is not in him. God should be the most essential part of a man you desire. It is the God in him that makes him the great and loving husband you seek and desire.

To be continued…

Keep a date with us next week as he shares with us more attributes of THE MAN that will make it easier for you to spot the right man for you.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

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