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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

What He Means When he Says I Love You



Hehehehehe. I’m sure your thoughts have been running wild trying to decipher how this blogpost would go. Just chill eh! You’re about to catch the whole gist soon…

In the ideal world, everyone ought to say what they mean. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, people say one thing and mean an entirely different thing all together. For example, in many African cultures, it’s a normal thing to say “come and eat” not because they want you to really eat with them but out of courtesy. The words “I LOVE YOU” have caused a lot of trouble in recent times because what one party has in mind, when saying it, is totally different from what the other party perceives as the intended meaning. When it comes to these three words, and how men use them with the opposite sex, TIMING (the time and scenario in which the statement is made) is what determines the actual meaning of the words. Taking the words literarily without considering the TIMING when these words are used is what leads to maximum frustration later. So, I’ll be bringing up typical scenarios where the opposite sex may use these words and the shade of meaning in such scenarios. If you’re sensitive, you will understand much more than I’ll say. Leggo!

Scenario 1: Just meeting you for the first time
Mature and serious minded guys do not use “I LOVE YOU” when they’re just meeting you for the first time. This is because they understand that it is not realistic to love someone you don’t know. “LIKE”, yes; “LOVE”, that’s too soon. The set of guys who say “I LOVE YOU” when they just meet you are usually immature in age or players. In this case, I LOVE YOU means:

*I like your physical appearance
*Girl, you’re hot
*I’d like to hook up with you

Scenario 2: In the early days of dating/relationship
When he says I LOVE YOU here, it is actually means “I love the part of you I have come to know”. It is not a promise to love you forever. Don’t get it twisted!!! You are still getting to know each other and as events unfold, he will have to decide if he should continue loving you and so will you. That is why it is possible to break off the relationship after months or years when one party starts discovering things they can’t tolerate.

Scenario 3: During illicit sex (and other activities that lead to it)
Just in case you don’t know it, lemme spell it out. Illicit sex is simply sex with someone you’re not married to. When those three golden words “I LOVE YOU” pop out during illicit sex, it actually means “I enjoyed having sex with you; let’s do this some other time” “You’re sweet in bed”. Don’t get it twisted. If he loves you that much, he would make you his wife, instead of having illicit sex with you.

Scenario 4: When you help at the time he needs it the most
It’s a natural thing to love those who help you. Who wouldn’t??? So when the golden words show up in this scenario, it actually means – Thank You, I really appreciate you for helping me.

Other scenarios include:
Before He Discovers Your Weaknesses  
I LOVE YOU = I love the part of you I know. I’ll re-evaluate my statement after I get to see if I can handle your flipsides.

After a fight/misunderstanding 
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry

After cheating on you  
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry, it was just a fling. You’re my only main chick.

After You’ve Broken Up 
I LOVE YOU = I miss having you. Can we hook up again? 
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU = You’re dear to me but we can no longer be together. Move on! I wish you well in all you do.

When he proposes  
I LOVE YOU = After all these months/years of relating with you, I’ve finally chosen you to be my woman for life, God-willing.

When He’s Married You 
I LOVE YOU = I love you enough to commit to you, spend my entire lifetime with you, take care of you till death do us part.

These are just a few scenarios. Don’t get it twisted! Otherwise, you may end up saying “But I thought you said you loved me!!! You lied!!!” No baby beau, he didn’t lie. You just didn’t understand what he meant when he said those golden words. Now you know what he means when he says I love you. Abi na lie I talk??? Brothers in da house, what say you?

P.S: No offence, disrespect or discredit intended to the male folk via this post. The same thing also applies to ladies too. It’s not every time they use those golden words that they actually mean what they say. Who knows, maybe if I get enough ginger from you guys, I’ll do the flip side of this blogpost for you guys titled WHAT SHE MEANS WHEN SHE SAYS I LOVE YOU. xoxo


Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Got questions, observations or comments? Wanna be a guest blogger here? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

View Other Recent Posts
Becoming the Woman of his Dreams Pt 2

Becoming the Woman of his Dreams

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

BECOMING THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS 2



MAN TO WOMAN
Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu finishes his post on becoming the dream woman. Read and share with someone around you. 

Today, Paul Aliyu continues with the second part of how to become the woman of his dreams.  If you missed the first part of the blogpost, click here to read. It's gonna be a long read but I promise you won't regret it. Happy reading!!! 

SO HOW DO I BECOME THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS?
1. Be a dream - driven person
You cannot be the woman of his dreams if you are not driven (passionate, obsessed, motivated) by dreams. To be driven by dreams means to be attracted to his dreams. It means you desire to be with him because you have found out that both of you can accomplish a purpose and achieve goals together. The bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed.”

Agreement is the key word here. Your purpose/dreams must agree. Remember God made Eve for Adam at the point of his fulfilling his God given assignment. Adam met Eve at that point he was busy fulfilling what God commanded him to do. You cannot fit into his dreams (purpose) if you are not passionate about purpose yourself. It will become difficult for you to blend in if you are not dream driven.
“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers” – Orison Swett Marden

2. Prepare and be busy
Preparation is one aspect that can never be ignored if you want to fit into his dreams. Though you have not met him (in person) but prepare ahead of your meeting with him. In most cases, your meeting is designated in your place of preparation or fulfilling destiny. A man with purpose will get attracted to you in your place of fulfilling destiny. He will be attracted by your works, efforts and zeal in your place of fulfilling destiny.

Never ignore preparation because in that place of preparation, anything good can happen.
Purpose attracts purpose; idleness will always attract idleness
A man that has been born with purpose, burning with accomplishing and fulfilling purpose will never be attracted by idleness. It is your busyness fulfilling purpose that will attract him to you.

God brought Eve to Adam after creating her. Be busy fulfilling God’s will for your life and in doing that, He will bring you to your Adam. gold is not sought for in the desert but in the goldmine. Make yourself into a goldmineLet him find you in the place of fulfilling destiny. Don’t just sit down waiting and doing nothing.
Purpose is not fulfilled in bed but in the field. So wake up and make yourself useful to yourself and to God while waiting for him.

3. Be teachable and Submissive
You must be a teachable person who is always willing to learn. Remember you are praying to be the woman of his dreams, so you must be willing to listen to him and learn so that you can work together effectively.

Submission is the major role given to the Woman in marriage. Don’t be a headache to him by not showing interest in what God has called him to do. When he receives instructions from God and instructs, be ready to obey and follow. He sees you teachable because he wants you to reach to your ability. It simply means he believes you can do it. What more do you desire than a man who believes in you? Experience has taught me that it is one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive in the world; to be believed in.

A teachable woman is a rich-able woman. Become a well of knowledge. The digging might take time but the deeper the well, the neater and better the water found in the well. Be patient and be a good listener.

4. Believe in him and in his dreams
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is one thing to believe in someone and another to believe in that person’s dreams.
You cannot be of help to your man if you don’t believe in him or in his dreams. You should not be a source of discouragement to him. Even when the world is up against him; be that one woman standing by him. No man can ever forget a woman that stands/stood by him when the world was all against him. He might not be there yet, but always tell him and assure him that he can get there. Never lose faith in him. It is often said that “beside every successful man, there is a woman.” You must desire to be that woman beside your man.
Be that beam that illuminates his dream(s)

5. Update and Upgrade
You must have this understanding that what makes information relevant is the fact that it relates to the situation it is been applied. You cannot be useful or relevant to his dreams if your opinions don’t relate to his dreams and purpose. It is therefore expedient that you update and upgrade yourself with time. To update simply means to add to existing information. It is modification of something to a more recent, up-to-date version. On the other hand, to upgrade means to replace an existing object with something better.

Make sure you are adding knowledge to yourself from time to time. Even if you are not knowledgeable in the aspect of his dreams, seek and become knowledgeable so you can be useful to him. On the other hand, don’t just add knowledge but see yourself transform to a better person from who you were before you met him.
Add value and keep adding value. You cannot be priced above your worth

6. Always pray for him
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure” – Paulo Coelho

There is nothing as blessed than for a man to have a praying woman by his side. A man with such woman by his side can accomplish anything when she is on her knees seeking the face of the Father on his behalf. Be a praying partner. Be busy interceding on his behalf because there is nothing better you can offer a man of purpose than to agree with him in prayers. Every praying wife is a GIFT from God. Be a gift to your man. Be that woman he will always look up to God and appreciate Him for sending her into his life.

7. Be a team player
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed.”
Relationship/marriage is all about team work. God decided to make the woman for the man because He knew that the man needs or will need help at one point in time.
No man is an island. Every successful relationship/marriage is a product of team work
The idea of “Me, Myself and I” should be knocked off from the onset. You are going into that man’s life to help him fulfill God’s purpose and assignment for his life. So be a team player. Don’t be found wanting at any point in time. Be supportive, contributive, attentive and helpful. You are in his life to make him a better him. Without that, you don’t exist in his life

8. Discover you
The truth is that you cannot give what you don’t have.
Have you even discovered what you have? Have you taken time to discover your worth?
It is said that “iron sharpeneth iron.” Are you an iron or a wood? Understand that a wood cannot sharpen an iron. It is either the iron becomes blunt or the wood is destroyed in the process of trying to sharpen the iron. You become useful to your man when you have discovered yourself. Most relationships/marriages suffer today because most women have not discovered who they are. They try to imitate other women and friends thereby causing problems in their relationship or marriage.

No man wants to go the market to buy a fake product or an imitation. They always want the real deal. You must come to an understanding that fake products don’t last. If you imitate friend ‘A’ today, who will you be tomorrow? Be who you really are and let him love you for you. Therefore discover who you really are before meeting him and always be yourself.
The only person you are permitted to be apart from you is being a better and improved you.
God worked on Eve before bringing her to Adam; so let God work on you before meeting your Adam. Don’t be faster than God.

If he is just attracted to your looks, what happens if the looks diminish tomorrow? Will he still love you like he used to? A man that desires the woman of his dreams will focus more on your works rather than looks because your works is what proofs to him that you fit into his dreams (God given assignment) rather than your looks. Looks are just an added advantage.

Did this post bless you? Share it with someone around you. Wanna say something? Your comments are welcome.

P.S: Next week, on MAN TO WOMAN, we will be having a different guest blogger and he will be sharing on something entirely different. Keep your fingers crossed.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 
 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 
Online Radio Portal


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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

BECOMING THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS 1

 

MAN TO WOMAN
Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu talks about becoming the dream woman. Read and share with someone around you. 

Becoming the Woman of his Dreams
By Paul Aliyu. 


Growing up, my dad use to say to us that, "a wise farmer will always go to the farm with his farm tools. Only a foolish farmer goes to the farm empty handed.” This simply means that you cannot be planning for a great harvest and ignore the period of tilling, cultivating and preparing the ground for the harvest you so desire.
Becoming is a process. It does not just happen; it is prepared and planned for. You cannot be dreaming of greatness and not prepare for it. If you fail to prepare for it, you will not notice or know it when it comes. So you cannot be dreaming of marriage and not prepare for marriage. Over time I have come to learn that there is nothing as good as preparing ahead of time for your spouse. Marriage becomes easy when spouses prepare themselves thoroughly before going into it.You cannot be dreaming of becoming the woman of his dreams without preparing to fit into his dream woman. Meet your dream man before you even meet him by preparing to meet him ahead of time.

Becoming the woman of his dreams is not all about being that "Woman" that he dreams of but it's about being the Woman that fits into his dreams, vision, purpose and God given assignment. If you only aspire to be the woman he dreams of, what about the day he stops dreaming or his dreams change and you all of a sudden become a nightmare to him? One thing that can never change is the God given assignment for that man. It therefore means that a man will value a woman that fits into his God given assignment more than a woman he just dreams of.

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” – A.A Milne

Be the woman of his dreams (the woman that fits into his God given assignment), and you become the woman he dreams of.

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAM
1. You will meet in the place of fulfilling destiny
God thought of Eve at the point Adam was accomplishing and fulfilling purpose. The man whose dreams you are meant for will be busy accomplishing purpose. Destinies that have been programmed by God will always meet at one point to accomplish His will. Never ignore the place of fulfilling destiny; that was where God brought Eve to Adam.

2. You will fit into his dreams
When you are meant for him, one of the signs is that you will fit into his dreams. God made Eve for Adam to be a help-meet to him. God will never mismatch two people He has designed to accomplish one or same purpose. He will make you compatible for him. There might be differences in some areas but when it comes to dreams and accomplishing purpose, there will be oneness and unity of purpose.

3. God will be involve
You know you fit into his dreams when your meeting is orchestrated by God. The dream (or assignment) was given to him by God and if God has designed you for him, he will arrange your meeting just the way he brought Eve to Adam after he finished making Eve.

4. He will be attracted by your works(fruits) rather than your looks
Crave for a man that is more attracted to your works rather than your looks.

To be continued 

P.S: Same time next week on MAN TO WOMAN, Paul Aliyu shares the 2nd part of this post that lets you know how to become the woman of his dreams. Keep a date with us.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 
 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 
Online Radio Portal

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