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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

What He Means When he Says I Love You



Hehehehehe. I’m sure your thoughts have been running wild trying to decipher how this blogpost would go. Just chill eh! You’re about to catch the whole gist soon…

In the ideal world, everyone ought to say what they mean. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, people say one thing and mean an entirely different thing all together. For example, in many African cultures, it’s a normal thing to say “come and eat” not because they want you to really eat with them but out of courtesy. The words “I LOVE YOU” have caused a lot of trouble in recent times because what one party has in mind, when saying it, is totally different from what the other party perceives as the intended meaning. When it comes to these three words, and how men use them with the opposite sex, TIMING (the time and scenario in which the statement is made) is what determines the actual meaning of the words. Taking the words literarily without considering the TIMING when these words are used is what leads to maximum frustration later. So, I’ll be bringing up typical scenarios where the opposite sex may use these words and the shade of meaning in such scenarios. If you’re sensitive, you will understand much more than I’ll say. Leggo!

Scenario 1: Just meeting you for the first time
Mature and serious minded guys do not use “I LOVE YOU” when they’re just meeting you for the first time. This is because they understand that it is not realistic to love someone you don’t know. “LIKE”, yes; “LOVE”, that’s too soon. The set of guys who say “I LOVE YOU” when they just meet you are usually immature in age or players. In this case, I LOVE YOU means:

*I like your physical appearance
*Girl, you’re hot
*I’d like to hook up with you

Scenario 2: In the early days of dating/relationship
When he says I LOVE YOU here, it is actually means “I love the part of you I have come to know”. It is not a promise to love you forever. Don’t get it twisted!!! You are still getting to know each other and as events unfold, he will have to decide if he should continue loving you and so will you. That is why it is possible to break off the relationship after months or years when one party starts discovering things they can’t tolerate.

Scenario 3: During illicit sex (and other activities that lead to it)
Just in case you don’t know it, lemme spell it out. Illicit sex is simply sex with someone you’re not married to. When those three golden words “I LOVE YOU” pop out during illicit sex, it actually means “I enjoyed having sex with you; let’s do this some other time” “You’re sweet in bed”. Don’t get it twisted. If he loves you that much, he would make you his wife, instead of having illicit sex with you.

Scenario 4: When you help at the time he needs it the most
It’s a natural thing to love those who help you. Who wouldn’t??? So when the golden words show up in this scenario, it actually means – Thank You, I really appreciate you for helping me.

Other scenarios include:
Before He Discovers Your Weaknesses  
I LOVE YOU = I love the part of you I know. I’ll re-evaluate my statement after I get to see if I can handle your flipsides.

After a fight/misunderstanding 
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry

After cheating on you  
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry, it was just a fling. You’re my only main chick.

After You’ve Broken Up 
I LOVE YOU = I miss having you. Can we hook up again? 
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU = You’re dear to me but we can no longer be together. Move on! I wish you well in all you do.

When he proposes  
I LOVE YOU = After all these months/years of relating with you, I’ve finally chosen you to be my woman for life, God-willing.

When He’s Married You 
I LOVE YOU = I love you enough to commit to you, spend my entire lifetime with you, take care of you till death do us part.

These are just a few scenarios. Don’t get it twisted! Otherwise, you may end up saying “But I thought you said you loved me!!! You lied!!!” No baby beau, he didn’t lie. You just didn’t understand what he meant when he said those golden words. Now you know what he means when he says I love you. Abi na lie I talk??? Brothers in da house, what say you?

P.S: No offence, disrespect or discredit intended to the male folk via this post. The same thing also applies to ladies too. It’s not every time they use those golden words that they actually mean what they say. Who knows, maybe if I get enough ginger from you guys, I’ll do the flip side of this blogpost for you guys titled WHAT SHE MEANS WHEN SHE SAYS I LOVE YOU. xoxo


Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

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Got questions, observations or comments? Wanna be a guest blogger here? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

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