Sometimes, the best and only option
is to say good bye and move on.
Hey
there! This post is dedicated to those who just lost something; those who just
experienced a break up or lost a loved one to death…
Goodbye
is not just a word we say when people leave us; it is actually the ability to
let go of things or situations when they’ve run their course and have come to
an end. As much as we wish that some things, moments, or relationships last
forever, in reality things have a time limit and so they eventually come to an
end. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the breakup of a
relationship/courtship, the drifting apart of a friendship due to distance or
something else, or the loss of something you love, you need the gift of goodbye
to successfully let go of the loss and move on to better things. Although the
loss of a relationship, loved one or something dear to you sometimes feels like
the end of the world, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The truth is
that there are better days ahead; if you will just get through it, you will
come out stronger. Here are a few tips to help you say goodbye to your present
losses and move on to better days.
Grieve if You Feel Like
It
Now
is not the time to form “macho”; if you feel disappointed, hurt and tempted to
cry, by all means cry. Lock yourself up in the room and cry to help let out all
the anger and hurtful feelings bottled up within you. Research has proved that
crying when we’re hurt is quite helpful as it helps let out all the hurt and
leaves you feeling lighter. Make it even better by crying unto God, pouring out
your heart to him and asking him to heal your heart as well as help you get
through this phase of life. You’ll be amazed at how much stronger you’ll feel
when you’re done.
Stop the Blame and
Wishing Game
When
we lose something, someone or a relationship, our natural tendency is to blame
it on something, someone or even blame ourselves and wish that so so so thing that
led to this thing never happened. Looking for who or what to blame it on and
wishing it never happened/wishing you could turn back the hands of time will
only leave you feeling depressed and more miserable than you already are. Take
a break from psychoanalyzing the whole scenario repeatedly and from asking “why
me?” and “why did this have to happen now?” continuously. Those questions are
not productive. On this side of the universe, unexpected unpleasant things
happen sometimes and we all have to learn to go through them.
Where Possible, Get
Help
Involve
capable and trusted friends and
family members as you go through this grieving process. Let them be your
support system. Let them be the hands that hold you when you cry and the lips
that intercede for you in prayer when you are too weighed down by sorrow to
pray. Believe me, you need all the prayer you can get. Listen to the stories of
people who went through similar situations like yours and have come out
stronger, it will motivate you a great deal and boost your faith and zest for
life. Look for and read helpful books that handle what you’re going through.
Take Each Day as It
Comes
Going
through a loss/a goodbye moment usually feels like the end of the world even
though it isn’t. Instead of wondering if you’ll ever love/trust again and if
you’ll ever find anyone like the one you lost to death or a breakup, focus on
taking each day as it comes. Wounds heal, tears dry up (cuz no one cries
forever), broken hearts heal; you will eventually learn to laugh and smile
again. It is the things we go through that make us stronger, wiser and shape us
for the better. Don’t shut your heart, don’t become nasty or rigid because of
the things that have happened; otherwise you will shut out the good things God
has in store for you in the days ahead and guess what, the only person who
would lose would be you.
Kathryn
Kulhman once said the things we go
through can either make us bitter or better; it all depends on the perspective
we look at and how we take it. When we focus on “I”, we become bitter; but
when we focus of “El-Shaddai”, we become better. Allow this goodbye moment to make
you better, not bitter. The end of one chapter is the beginning of another
chapter. Your best days lie ahead; say
goodbye to what you lost and those that left, move on and catch up with the
good days that lie ahead. xoxo
Did
you enjoy this post? Do you have more useful tips on this topic? Feel free to
leave your views in the comment section.
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Are
you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship
matters and life in general? E-mail me
on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.
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