4 Things the Guy You’re with Wants You to Know

This post is an amplifier of the thoughts in your man’s heart which he will like you to know but may not necessarily say to you. It is dedicated to those good men out there who are not perfect but are striving daily with the grace God supplies to become better. I am just the messenger bringing it to you today. I sincerely hope that after reading this, your disposition and attitude towards your man will change for the better. Happy reading!!!

I’m not perfect; I’m still growing daily

Should I say more? I don’t think so. What this means is that he will make mistakes sometimes but just like the path of the righteous which shines brighter and brighter, he will grow better daily. So make allowances for his weaknesses and mistakes; focus on his good side instead.

I will say the wrong thing and be oblivious about it many times

Unlike women, most men don’t taste their words before they spit them out. In the process, they may unconsciously hurt you in the name of expressing themselves and not even realize that they hurt you. If you focus on the words, you’ll be heartbroken most times. If your man falls into this category, learn not to regard or hold on to such nasty words; you know deep down he loves you.

I’ll need to lean on you sometimes

Yes baby girl! Superman will sometimes need to lean on you financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually. When such times come, don’t look down on him or treat him with contempt. Why are you his helpmeet if you can’t help him at such times???

I need your prayers a lot

Oh yes, even the most spiritual man needs the prayers of his woman daily. There are forces and situations striving daily to make a mess of you, your man and your relationship / marriage. You can’t scale through without prayers. 1 Timothy 2:1 says “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving if thanks be made for all men; for kings and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” Your prayers are a very important need in his life. Pray for him with every chance you get. There can never be an overdose of your prayers for him. You can get Stormie Omatian’s book “The Power of a Praying Wife” to understand this more.  

Voila! My messenger duties today have come to an end. I trust that I’ve succeeded in communicating his heart’s secret message to you. Guys in the house, did I do justice to your heart’s message? I hope so.

If this post enlightened you, share with someone else to spread the light. Xoxo.

Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Have you heard???

The blog has an online radio show on riecho.net. You can also listen to the show on www.hulkshare.com/sister2sisternigeria

Check out both sites to listen to the show for yourself. You can also download our online radio show file when you listen on hulkshare.com

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ARE YOU FORCING IT?

It's only in the realm of humans that you see people trying to force something to become another thing. Maybe it's because they've watched too many films showing the use of magic and how one can perform 'wonders', or maybe it isn't. But in reality, no matter how we try to force it, somethings can't be forced. No matter how much you try to force a mango to become an orange, the best you could ever get from any mango would be a mango juice and never orange juice. The same applies to dating relationships.

No matter how hard you try to compel, cajole, manipulate, dictate, suppress or change that person to become your dream man or woman, you're only setting yourself up for disaster eventually. Instead of catching a sanguine and trying to turn him or her into a melancholy, why not just go for a melancholy instead? Instead of buying a bottle of Coke and trying to turn it to Fanta, why not just go for fanta instead??? Relationships are supposed to make people better, not change them into what they are not. If you're trying to change your man or woman to what they're not, you're practicing witchcraft (manipulating things you have no authority over to suit your own purpose) and you're fast becoming an enemy of God who intentionally made them that way for his glory.

Here are a few signs you're forcing it in your relationship.

1. The things you dislike and complain about him or her are more than the things you're cool with.

2. The things that make him happy are the things you detest.

3. You're always nagging, complaining, hoping and praying that he/she will change and the change is not coming.

4. You feel he / she always embarrasses you with certain actions that he / she considers normal.

5. You quarrel more than you relate except when you're in bed.

If this is your reality, you guys are mismatched and you're definitely forcing a square peg in a round hole.

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Singles: See if you can accept and accommodate his / her mannerisms for a life time. If you can't, that's a clear sign you should consider splitting up. If you want to stretch your faith, pray about those things that give you concern in he / she and give it 6 months to 1 year to see if there's improvement. If at the end of this, there's no change, it's time to end it. The longer time you waste in a wrong relationship with an unsuitable partner, the more you miss out on finding the right partner.

Married folks: If you get married and discover you’re practically forcing it, you're already bound by the vows you made so there is no easy way out. However, God is able to help you  out. Pray for your mate that God will open his / her eyes to the need to change. Ask for grace to love them and accept them the way they are, just like God accepts you the way you are. One of two things will happen. It's either God will change them eventually or he will strengthen you to the point that all those sour points don't bother you or steal your joy anymore. Either way, it's a win-win situation when you take it to God. But, you'll need lots of patience to successfully go through it all. Xoxo.

P:S Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Have you heard???

The blog now has an online radio show on riecho.net. You can also listen to the show on www.hulkshare.com/sister2sisternigeria

Check out both sites to listen to the show for yourself. You can also download our online radio show file when you listen on hulkshare.com

Feel free to send in your comments on our online radio show by email on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Or sister2sisternigeria@gmail.com

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8 Reasons Why You’re Losing Friends Fast

Hey there, I trust you’re having a beautiful week. I’m having a favour-filled week, all thanks to God’s favour. 

There is no smoke without fire; every occurrence you see on the surface is triggered by something. Today, I’ll like to talk about things that make it difficult for a person to retain friends. It’s easy to put the blame on every other person and claim that they’re juts haters. But, a little soul searching may reveal that you have a hand in it. Read this with an open and sincere heart and you’ll get the best out of it.

1 - You can’t keep a secret

Yep! This is one of the major reasons why a person loses friends. Friendship requires you to be trustworthy and to be a friend one can easily confide in. Whether or not your friend tells you not to disclose his/her words to others, discretion should let you know that sensitive matters about your friend should remain a secret. It should not be disclosed or used as example when teaching or preaching. So, when you have a habit of making your friends personal matters public news/announcement in the name of “gisting” or you have a habit of exposing your friend’s secret when you’re having a misunderstanding, you earn yourself the reputation of CNN and backbiter. With time, word soon spreads around that you’re not trustworthy and even though you keep making new friends, you’ll keep losing them. Instead of looking for new friends, work on this aspect of yourself first. 

2 - You’re too judgemental and critical

It’s good to speak the truth in love. But when you’re excessively critical and fond of dishing out sarcastic remarks to your friends in public or private, you make yourself a thorn in their flesh and you know, nobody loves to have a romance with thorns. Friends seek comfort in each other; the world out there is already filled with harshness, your friends do not need another dose of harshness from you. You’re not a judge; you’re a friend – there is a difference between both. Most of it lies in your manner of approach. Friendship is not just about being honest, it’s about being tactful and speaking the truth in love. 

3 - You use people

People are not fools; they may act like fools, but eventually the reality hits them someday and they get the real picture. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are. That is why things are meant to be used and people are meant to be cherished and appreciated. So, if you’re fond of reaching out to the people in your life only because of what you can gain from them and you’re never available for them either, you’re actually using people. If you only act nice and contact people when you want to get something from them, you’re actually a user of men. If you make using people your comfort zone, you will eventually lose a lot of quality people from your life. 

4 - You’re too clingy

When you can’t stay on your own and must be in the company of people, you’re clingy. And when you’re too clingy, you’re like a crab that clings to everyone it comes in contact with to the extent of causing discomfort. Being clingy may be tolerable from children but as we grow older, it is expected that you should have a life of your own and be able to give your friends the breathing space to live their own lives too. As much as you want them to hang out with you, you need to understand that they cannot be at your beck and call all the time, even though they love you. It is immaturity to expect them to be available for you always. You must learn how to accept people and take their availability to you as their tight schedule permits.

5 - You’re a liability

Do I need to explain this??? I think it’s self-explanatory. In simple words, no one wants a parasite for a friend – someone who drains them dry and cannot be useful to them in anyway. Your friends are not ATMs you can keep withdrawing from daily. You have to make yourself a blessing and an asset too. 

6 - You’re envious and competitive

Friends are supposed to be supportive of each other, not envious and competitive. You mustn’t have everything your friend has. Or are you twins??? The most dangerous friend anyone can have is someone who is envious and competitive; someone one who wants to have what they have at any cost. Both character traits open the door to negative influence and can turn a friend into a foe eventually. It’s okay to learn from or be inspired by your friend’s achievements. But when you exhibit envy and compare yourself with / compete with your friend, you are a recipe for disaster waiting to happen and any wise + experienced person will immediately start avoiding you.

7 - You’re full of complaints and negativity

Ha!!! There is nothing that saps the life out of you like having negative people and complainers in your life. When you’re trying to build up your faith and maintain a positive attitude, like a pin prick on a balloon, they puncture your faith. They empty their negative energy on you via complaints and put too much excess baggage on your life. Even the Lord God could not put up with the continuous complaints, murmurings and the negative attitude of the Israelites in the wilderness. These two patterns of behavior will not only affect your friendships and relationships, they will also cut you off from the goodness of God because. See (as surely as I heard you say, so will I do unto you) for more details. 

8 - You’re no longer compatible

One of my old friends used to say “twenty friends can’t play together for twenty years”. What that means is that friendships don’t always last forever, even if you guys make a vow that you will stay friends forever. Though you may not quarrel, you may eventually start drifting apart due to incompatibility (both of you now have a different outlook on life as well as different goals), tight schedules, increasing responsibilities or distance. If this happens, don’t take it too personally – it’s not the end of the world. Just open your heart to the new people around you and build new friendships.

So What Next???

See what areas of your life you need to amend so that you’ll stop losing quality friends, acquaintances and destiny helpers. Have a great day.

P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here? Would you like to advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Have you heard???

The blog now has an online radio show on riecho.net. You can also listen to the show on www.hulkshare.com/sister2sisternigeria

Check out both sites to listen to the show for yourself. You can also download our online radio show file when you listen on hulkshare.com

Feel free to send in your comments on our online radio show by email on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Or sister2sisternigeria@gmail.com

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What He Means When he Says I Love You

Hehehehehe. I’m sure your thoughts have been running wild trying to decipher how this blogpost would go. Just chill eh! You’re about to catch the whole gist soon…

In the ideal world, everyone ought to say what they mean. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, people say one thing and mean an entirely different thing all together. For example, in many African cultures, it’s a normal thing to say “come and eat” not because they want you to really eat with them but out of courtesy. The words “I LOVE YOU” have caused a lot of trouble in recent times because what one party has in mind, when saying it, is totally different from what the other party perceives as the intended meaning. When it comes to these three words, and how men use them with the opposite sex, TIMING (the time and scenario in which the statement is made) is what determines the actual meaning of the words. Taking the words literarily without considering the TIMING when these words are used is what leads to maximum frustration later. So, I’ll be bringing up typical scenarios where the opposite sex may use these words and the shade of meaning in such scenarios. If you’re sensitive, you will understand much more than I’ll say. Leggo!

Scenario 1: Just meeting you for the first time

Mature and serious minded guys do not use “I LOVE YOU” when they’re just meeting you for the first time. This is because they understand that it is not realistic to love someone you don’t know. “LIKE”, yes; “LOVE”, that’s too soon. The set of guys who say “I LOVE YOU” when they just meet you are usually immature in age or players. In this case, I LOVE YOU means:

*I like your physical appearance

*Girl, you’re hot

*I’d like to hook up with you

Scenario 2: In the early days of dating/relationship

When he says I LOVE YOU here, it is actually means “I love the part of you I have come to know”. It is not a promise to love you forever. Don’t get it twisted!!! You are still getting to know each other and as events unfold, he will have to decide if he should continue loving you and so will you. That is why it is possible to break off the relationship after months or years when one party starts discovering things they can’t tolerate.

Scenario 3: During illicit sex (and other activities that lead to it)

Just in case you don’t know it, lemme spell it out. Illicit sex is simply sex with someone you’re not married to. When those three golden words “I LOVE YOU” pop out during illicit sex, it actually means “I enjoyed having sex with you; let’s do this some other time” “You’re sweet in bed”. Don’t get it twisted. If he loves you that much, he would make you his wife, instead of having illicit sex with you.

Scenario 4: When you help at the time he needs it the most

It’s a natural thing to love those who help you. Who wouldn’t??? So when the golden words show up in this scenario, it actually means – Thank You, I really appreciate you for helping me.

Other scenarios include:

Before He Discovers Your Weaknesses  
I LOVE YOU = I love the part of you I know. I’ll re-evaluate my statement after I get to see if I can handle your flipsides.

After a fight/misunderstanding 
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry

After cheating on you  
I LOVE YOU = I’m sorry, it was just a fling. You’re my only main chick.

After You’ve Broken Up 
I LOVE YOU = I miss having you. Can we hook up again? 
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU = You’re dear to me but we can no longer be together. Move on! I wish you well in all you do.

When he proposes  
I LOVE YOU = After all these months/years of relating with you, I’ve finally chosen you to be my woman for life, God-willing.

When He’s Married You 
I LOVE YOU = I love you enough to commit to you, spend my entire lifetime with you, take care of you till death do us part.

These are just a few scenarios. Don’t get it twisted! Otherwise, you may end up saying “But I thought you said you loved me!!! You lied!!!” No baby beau, he didn’t lie. You just didn’t understand what he meant when he said those golden words. Now you know what he means when he says I love you. Abi na lie I talk??? Brothers in da house, what say you?

P.S: No offence, disrespect or discredit intended to the male folk via this post. The same thing also applies to ladies too. It’s not every time they use those golden words that they actually mean what they say. Who knows, maybe if I get enough ginger from you guys, I’ll do the flip side of this blogpost for you guys titled WHAT SHE MEANS WHEN SHE SAYS I LOVE YOU. xoxo

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Got questions, observations or comments? Wanna be a guest blogger here? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

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