Who is a fault finder? A
fault finder is someone who has employed him/herself to find the fault(s) in a
person or situation and made a habit/career out of it. Sometimes such people
call themselves “critics” etc. but in reality, they’re just bad belle people
trying to put everybody down by showing what is wrong with them. Today’s post
is a soul searching post designed to open our eyes to this toxic behaviour and
habit of fault finding. Before you deny it, rule things out, and justify
yourself, read through these with an open and sincere heart.
#1 – You ALWAYS notice what’s wrong in a place or person before
you notice what’s right
Aha! If in every
situation, you have the habit of noticing what’s not working in a place/what’s
inadequate and the flaws in people first before you notice the positive sides
(or you don’t notice them at all), you are a confirmed FAULT FINDER. Yes ke!
Just like google, all you do is find stuff and unfortunately, it’s only the bad
stuff you know how to detect. You’re soo good at pointing out the wrong stuff
(which is not too bad in itself if you handle it rightly) but unfortunately,
you lack a solution for it and don’t know the right way/manner to communicate
what you observe so people are most times pissed at you and what you have to
say, even though it’s the truth.
#2 – You complain more than you show gratitude
Ask any positive minded
person, complainers are like irritants; hanging around them irritates and
dampens your spirit. Even God almighty hates it when we complain and murmur. If
most of your statements tend towards complaining about what is wrong too much,
instead of finding things that are working in your life to be grateful for,
your level as a fault finder is really increasing.
#3 – You find it HARD to give compliments but EASY to criticise
Do I need to explain
this? It’s quite self explanatory. Check yourself; if criticizing comes easy to
you and giving compliments and encouragement seems like an upheaval task, it’s
obvious that you’re a fault finder (remember, fault finders not only find but
focus on faults as well).
#4 – When people compliment others, you unconsciously point out
their faults
This one is something
that happens unconsciously. If you find out that when people say something good
about others, you always have a “but-clause” to add telling them something not
so good about the person, you’re a fault finder. When someone says “she’s beautiful,
intelligent etc” and you add “but she has a bow leg, flat butt etc”, and you do
this habitually, it’s obvious that you are a fault finder.
Help! I’m a Fault Finder
If you read through these
and discovered that you’re a fault finder, it’s time to make a change. The last
time I checked, the only accuser of the brethren and certified fault
finder/bubble buster is called SATAN. You’re not his offspring so you shouldn’t
be toeing his line. If you must point out the negative stuff in situations and
people, let it be done in love as 1 Corinthians 16:14 says “let everything you
do, be done in love.” That way, they can accept what you say and make a change,
because they know you’re coming from the angle of love and not the angle of
criticism alone. Take a 360 turn around and learn to focus on the positive
sides of situations/people, show gratitude, give compliments and refrain from
all those but-clauses. You also have you share of faults that people (and even
God) have learnt to tolerate. Have a lovely weekend.
Got
questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a
relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me
on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
Coming Up Next Week
-Running on E? Here’s What to
Do
-Twists and Turns- Episode 4
Plus
-5 Reasons Why a Good Man Will
Leave You (Guys Edition: Hear what they
have to say. I bet it will blow your mind.)
You don’t wanna miss it! Stay hooked to the blog!!!
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