While You Wait (Pt 2)

Waiting for anything (whether it’s a job, admission, contract or marriage) can be a very daunting, agonizing task. It’s easy to become hysterical and overwhelmed during a waiting period but this ought not to be so. Instead of feeling helpless, you can be proactive while you wait by filling your waiting period with productive things that will help you maximize your time. Today’s post is a sequel to an earlier post (read the first part here) and it is dedicated to those who are ripe for marriage but are yet to find the right marriage partner. Here are a few things to do while you wait to find or be found.

#9 – Upgrade All Your Skills

The waiting period is a good time to upgrade existing skills and acquire new skills. It’s just like the extra time you’re given in an exam hall cross check your answer scripts. Don’t be one-dimensional; use this waiting to upgrade your culinary skills and expand your handwork by taking lessons in things like: dress-making, interior decoration, baking, soap making, and whatever catches your fancy. No matter how good you are now, you can become better. Moreover, the more skills you have, the more of an asset you’ll be to your spouse.

#10 – Learn How to Speak the Truth in Love

The future that lies ahead of you will require maturity from you in all dimensions and this is one of the skills you will be needing. It’s not enough to blurt out the bitter truth – even a parrot can do that. You must learn to speak the truth with tact, tenderness and respectfulness so the other person gets the message without the sting; this makes your words more effective. No one loves to be pricked by thorns constantly, no matter how cute the rose is. If you learn this skill, it will save your marriage incessant conflicts.

#11 – Make Your Own Money

Yes ke, you cannot be sitting down there waiting for Mr. Right to come and save you from the world of poverty. Are you a destitute? Wake up oh! These days, men seek for and respect a woman who makes her own money, no matter how little it is. It shows that you have a sense of responsibility and you’re not an asset, not a liability. Whether it’s a nine-to-five job, or a small business, get busy and make your money. This will also make you more confident and enable you to choose a life partner for the right reasons and not just because you’re hungry.

#12– Learn How to Handle Dull Moments and being Alone

Dull moments and times that you will be forced to be alone will continually arise throughout your life time. Even when you get married, you can’t be with your spouse 24/7. Learning how to manage both scenarios by filling them up with something productive instead of gossip, idle talk, watching movies all day and useless hangouts will be one of the best skills you can acquire during this waiting period.

#13 – Be Accomodating

Simply put, this means learning how to tolerate and live with people who get on your nerves in one way or the other. Let’s face it; you don’t have to like everyone you meet, but you should learn to take them for who they are and live with as peacefully as possible. Who knows? You may be needing this to handle some of your in-laws tomorrow.

#14 – Read! Read! Read!

Proverbs 4:7 says “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; and with all your getting, get understanding.” Get hold of useful books and materials that will equip you for life, business, destiny, and marriage. Don’t wait till when you are married; you’re life may be too busy then for you to read as much as you should.

#15 – Learn How to Discern God’s Voice to You

God speaks to each of us in different ways. Now while you’re single is the best time to discover how to hear from God and the unique way in which he speaks to you. This will enable you get divine direction in all situations, even when it comes to discerning the right person to choose as a spouse. If you don’t know how, you can ask God to open your spiritual ears and the ear of your heart daily to discern his voice and directions and you’ll start experiencing divine direction.

#16 – Pray that God will Make you a Suitable Spouse/Helper

This applies to both sexes cuz were all meant to be helpful to our spouses in future. As much as you pray that God should sent you the right man, also pray that he should make you suitable for your future spouse so you don’t become the one destroying the marriage in future with nasty behaviours and mannerisms. Find every weakness in you, make it a prayer point and take steps to become a better person daily.

Questions? Suggestions? Private comments? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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TWISTS AND TURNS - Episode 9

Episode 9

Iye shut her eyes praying with all her heart though she was only whispering. Mark imagined the Story of Hannah who the priest thought was drunk; well, he knew she was pouring out her heart to God.
He drove into the parking lot and Iye rushed out of the car like a wounded lion while he followed her behind. The nurse had already given her directions to where her daughter was so they headed straight for the children’s ward.

Iye entered the ward where two other children were being treated. How could this be happening on her daughter's birthday??? She slowed down as she moved closer to the bed. That was when she felt a presence beside her and she remembered that she had not come alone. Poor Mark, following her to see her daughter when her irresponsible biological father was unreachable.
She slowly held her baby's hand and fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks. She sobbed quietly and felt Mark's hand on her shoulder comforting her. She was glad she was not alone. Mimi (her daughter) was still on drip and sound asleep. She stood up slowly without making a fuss in order not to wake the sleeping girl and they stepped outside for a while.
"Mark, I feel bad for getting you involved in all this. You’ve done enough and..." She choked on the tears that welled up within her, preventing her from finishing her sentence. He placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her and instead, that lead to an outburst of a fountain of tears from her.
"You have to pull yourself together; you have to be strong for her you know?" He encouraged her in a tender voice.
" But I am s-s-s-scared Mark. What if she d..." "Now that is enough. You have to believe in your prayers. God is in control now. Let his will be done."
They heard a moan from the room and rushed back inside. It was her.

" Oh baby, mummy is here. Are you okay now?" She said seating on the bed holding her hand.
"Mummy!" Mimi called out weakly as tears rolled down her cheeks. Iye was felt as if she would faith; she wanted to be strong but this was her beloved child in obvious pains.
"Happy birthday sweetheart. It’s your birthday remember?"
"It is?" Mimi asked in a surprised tone but then Iye felt bad that she didn’t realize it was her birthday because her daughter was not one to forget so easily, not to talk of forgetting her own birthday.
"Mummy I told Mrs. Fati that I can't sweep the compound because of dust and she made me do it every morning. I didn't want dad to be mad at me again so I did my best. I then started feeling pains in my chest and told her but she said I was a lazy girl and...” “Oh sweety, just rest okay. You don't have to explain to me; just be fine for me, Okay." Iye said with quivering lips wondering where that monster of who called himself her father could be. If she had not come, is this how he would have abandoned her in the hospital?
"I think I have to call your dad again and...” “ Mummy please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone again. That woman does not like me. Please mummy, don't let him take me back." She started coughing and Mark ran to get the doctor.

Iye was shaking all over. Her daughter had equally suffered in her monstrous father’s hand. “He deserves to die.” She thought to herself.  Everything felt like a dream. The nurses rushed past her with a cylinder of oxygen. Her child was gasping for breath and all she could do was stand in shock with tears rolling down her cheeks. The nurses asked them to wait outside. She would have passed out if Mark had not caught her just in time. His strong arms circled her while her body shook, he whispered sweet words that she could not comprehend but hearing his voice was therapeutic. She tugged at his shirt as if her life depended on it. "God why have you forsaken me?" She said more to herself and the next thing she felt was a harsh pull on her arms; she knew who it was already and God knows she was too tired to fight.
"So I called you because your daughter is at the point of death and what do you do? You come to the hospital all lovey-dovey in the arms of a man hugging him so tight as if your life depends on it. Well, I still remember how you could never get enough of me back then. We could hook up and make healthier babies." David said with an evil smirk.
Mark gently released her, and if not that they were in the hospital, he would have punched the daylight out of this the jerk of a man.
"I guess some things don't change huh! Look at you, you look very pitiful and you know what you are? You are such a loser for hurting your daughter. You don't deserve such a precious child; because of your recklessness that girl is struggling between life and death. I don't know what you used to think about me but trust me, I am not the guy you used to know and if you say one more thing about this woman, I swear to you one phone call is enough to put you in your place. It is obvious you are such an irresponsible man; who else would leave his daughter and go get drunk but you? When she is out of this place, Iye will have custody of her and if you don’t like it, go get yourself a lawyer and let's meet in court." Mark said furiously.
"You nerd, you think you can threaten me huh! I can't be fooled. I will deal with you the way I did back then. I am the girl’s father; I do with my daughter whatever I want and you have no right to tell what to do. As for this whore, you are...”  Mark raised his hand but Iye caught it in time to prevent a fight.
"Stop this madness both of you." She said and just then the doctor stepped out.
"Can I talk to the parent of the child please, there is an emergency."
"What!"

To be continued

The story continued next week Tuesday.

Read Older Episodes Below

 

Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  8

 Pheobe Omiwole is a motivational speaker and a talented writer who uses her pen and voice to affect the world and the lives of men. She also has a personal blog where she writes really inspiring stuff. Check out her blog on  http://www.pheobeomiwole.WordPress.com 

TWISTS AND TURNS -Episode 8

Episode 8

The rest of the drive home was a quiet one, Mark had left her to her thoughts because he also had some thinking to do. He was wondering if he could live with David's constant interruptions if he decides to marry Iye. He had no problem with becoming a father to her daughter but the David he knew was always troublesome. He was no longer the kid that was messed up by his peers, he was a grown man that could pull his own weight but the question is: can he pull hers too?
Iye appreciated the silence. She savored the warmth coming from him and the fact that someone really cared was good enough for her at this point. Moreover, it was not just any one but Mark. She had kept dialing David's number but he was picking the call. She tried to be brave but there was this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was very wrong. She did not want to bother Mark any further. He had done more than enough for her in one day. They were gradually pulling closer to her apartment and she wished he would stay but she could not ask that of him.
" So where is the house?" He asked interrupting her thoughts.
" Oh! It’s the third house to the left." She answered coldly.
" Okay." He said and passed a quick glance her way.
" You know you can always call on me right? I will be here as fast as I can and please stop worrying; I know God is in control. He will do only what is best for us."
She looked at him as she struggled seriously to stop the tears that threatened to drop down her cheek. "Where were you all my life? Why were you not as persistent as David? Why did you not fight Harder huh?" She thought in her heart but she knew she had pushed him away and made him feel like trash back then but he still keeps saying the sweetest things that warm her heart. A God fearing man is reliable and she needed such assurance; not the unstableness of David.
" Thanks a lot Mark. I wish things had turned out differently but then I’m glad you met me and helped me today. I only wish I had your type of confidence; I’m really scared something has happened to my child and I don't know if I can breathe well knowing she is in potential danger. That girl is the only thing that makes me want to keep living because my life has been a total wreck and...and..." she sniffed to hold back the torrent of tears that would soon burst forth and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.
" Oh Mark am sorry I have been such a bother, let me get out if your way so you can get back to your life. Thanks for everything." She said as she gathered herself and placed her hand on the door to open the car and save herself from further embarrassment but just as she made that move, Mark held her arm before she could escape and she held her breath.
"Iye you have never and will never be a burden to me, I don't know the mess you are in but if you think you can walk in and out of my life the way you want then you lie. I won't go running because you have plenty baggage, everyone has got their own mess, so please let me help you." He said in the gentlest tone.
" Oh Mark this is overwhelming; I don't know what to say. You really don't mean what you are saying do you, I...” her phone started ringing and she searched for it in a hurry and was surprised it was David calling after several missed calls from her.
" Yeah hello, David where is my daughter?" She yelled.
" She what? Oh my God, where is she now? Okay I will be there and David if anything goes wrong with my daughter, you will regret it." She threatened and the phone dropped from her hand.
All Mark could see now was an angry woman who would let nothing stand in her way. "So where are we going?" He asked.
" Prince and Princess Hospital." She said numbly as tears ran down her cheeks rapidly.
" Oh God! Can this day get any worse?"

To be continued....

Catch up with older episodes here

Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Pheobe Omiwole is a motivational speaker and a talented writer who uses her pen and voice to affect the world and the lives of men. She also has a personal blog where she writes really inspiring stuff. Check out her blog on  http://www.pheobeomiwole.WordPress.com 

10 Stupid Things You Shouldn’t Do When You’re Young (Pt 2)

This is a sequel to yesterdays post and today, I’m sharing the remaining 5 stupid things you shouldn’t do when you’re wrong.  Read the previous 5 things here.

#6 – Enter into a Blood Covenant

No matter how in love you are right now, NEVER enter into a blood covenant or any kind of covenant for that matter. If love is not enough to keep you both, a covenant is not enough either. Moreover, making such a covenant just gives the devil a platform to manipulate circumstances to ensure you both break the covenant and suffer the consequences. The only covenant you should enter into for love should be a marriage.

#7 – Enter into a Shrine for any Reason

Image source: bomapeters.blogspot.com

Oya, hold your ears: NEVER ENTER A JUJU SHRINE FOR ANY REASON. Period!!! Whether you’re just accompanying a friend, someone accused you of something and wants you to swear an oath there, you want to “inquire” on something or get something to make your business or relationship work better, NEVER go to a shrine. That singular action of stepping you into a shrine opens you up to evil spirits and assorted evil manipulations to start working in your life. If you think I’m wrong, ask your pastor. You have your whole life ahead of you to jeopardize it this way.

#8 – Hook up with Strangers in Secret Places

Yea, I know you can take care of yourself, after all you’re no longer a baby. If you have to meet up with strangers or acquaintances in strange places, make sure to tell at least one person close to you where you’re going to and who you’re going with, just in case anything happens. Even if it’s your “boyfriend” or “bossom friend” you’re going to a strange place with, always make sure at least one person knows. Friends and boyfriends have led people to their untimely death, you know. A word is enough for the wise.

#9 – Get Involved with Married Men

Okay, Okay; say whatever you feel like about dating married men. But the truth is: when you date married men, it creates an aura around you that eventually hurts you in future, despite all you think you may gain. That aura becomes like a spiritual perfume or sign board that attracts only married men looking for a booty call to you and blinds single guys to you which will leave you in frustration by the time you’re ready to settle down. To understand this more, read Juanita Bynum’s book No More Sheets.

#10 – Prove Your Love via Sex

Image source: www.brimtime.com

 As long as the earth remains, this cliché will be used “If you love me, prove your love for me”. And then all the pressures to prove your love via sex begins. Don’t be deceived; that has always been a punch line to get ladies to have pre-marital sex. Sex has never been a proof of love. Despite how much he threatens to leave you or get it from some other girl, even if you give in have sex with him, he will still leave you and get another girl when he’s through with you. Wise up; it’s the testosterone speaking, not love. 

Voila! Those are the stupid things you shouldn’t do when you’re young because like a boomerang, they will come back to bite you in nasty places in your future. The choice is now yours to make. If you still choose to be entangled in them, get ready to stomach the consequences in future. May God give us all the grace to make the right choices at each point in life. Xoxo. Have a smashing weekend.

Questions? Suggestions? Private comments? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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