What to do when you find yourself in a toxic permanent relationship...
This post is a sequel to previous post I did yesterday which bears the same title (click here to read). Today, I'll be dealing with practical ways to handle a toxic permanent relationship (e.g marriage or family relationship). Here we go!
IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT
If people knew better, they would act better. If your spouse or family member knew better, they won't be the source/cause of the toxicity you're experiencing in your marriage / relationship. We're products of the environments we've been raised in and experiences we've encountered. All some people know is how to be toxic simply because that is all they've been through. It's not that they don't love - It's just that they don't know how to relate with you in a healthy way. It's also not your fault that somehow, they've become a permanent part of your life. Besides, hurting people hurt others, especially when they've been hurt all their lives.
MAKE POSITIVE CONFESSIONS A HABIT
Toxic relationships usually involve a lot of abuse (physical, emotional and mental), a lot of name calling, cutting remarks, belittling etc. Hearing such words constantly can be quite depressing and energy zapping. That's why you need to develop the habit of making positive confessions in your private time over your life and future. This will undo the effects of their nasty words and refocus your heart on something positive. When you keep quiet, these wicked words and nasty treatment will begin to erode you like acid. When you speak positive words, they undo the effects of these words and they also shape your future. How much more when the positive words you speak are based on the word of God!
PRAY
When I say pray, I don't only mean that you should pray for God to change them. Yes, the Lord is able to turn people's hearts (see proverbs 21:1). While you pray and wait for God to transform your toxic partner or family member, you also need to pray that God will give you the grace to go through the relationship without being destroyed. Ask for the grace to forgive them over and over again. Ask God to heal both of you and heal your relationship. Ask him for the grace to stay productive, positive and fruitful even in such a toxic environment. Your situation will turn out for good in Jesus name.
GIVE IT TIME TO CHANGE
Yes, God is able to do instant miracles and he still does them. In most cases, when it comes to the pulling down of strongholds of the mind such as mindsets, habits and behaviour patterns, it is usually available gradual process that requires a lot of patience from you. Some days there will be progress, other days there will be relapses, but eventually, you will come out strong.
DO SOMETHING GOOD THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Find something that makes you happy to keep you busy. Whether it's for money or for free, get busy doing something that blesses others and makes you happy. The joy you get from doing it will refill your emotional cup and restore your self-worth; something that is sadly lacking in your relationship. As you water others despite how you feel, God will water your life where it matters the most (see proverbs 11:25).
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
As difficult as this sounds, God can give you the grace to maintain a positive attitude. Despite the constant flow of provocations, you can't afford to develop a nasty attitude. Your positive attitude and behaviour in the face of toxic provocations is one of the tools God will use to turn things around.
CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT
Before you put all the blame on someone else, truthfully psychoanalyse things to see if you have a hand in the toxicity in your relationship and adjust.
GOD'S GRACE IS AVAILABLE
All these things are only possible with God's grace. But it starts with your decision to fight the good fight faith by believing God for a change in your relationship. Experience has shown that when one partner in a toxic relationship prays for God's intervention, he usually begins the process of change in you and eventually works it out through you. Do your part and God will do his. I'll be praying for you.
P. S - If you can watch these two films FIREPROOF and NOT EASILY BROKEN, please do. You will learn a lot from it.
Read related posts
SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.
This post is a sequel to previous post I did yesterday which bears the same title (click here to read). Today, I'll be dealing with practical ways to handle a toxic permanent relationship (e.g marriage or family relationship). Here we go!
IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT
If people knew better, they would act better. If your spouse or family member knew better, they won't be the source/cause of the toxicity you're experiencing in your marriage / relationship. We're products of the environments we've been raised in and experiences we've encountered. All some people know is how to be toxic simply because that is all they've been through. It's not that they don't love - It's just that they don't know how to relate with you in a healthy way. It's also not your fault that somehow, they've become a permanent part of your life. Besides, hurting people hurt others, especially when they've been hurt all their lives.
MAKE POSITIVE CONFESSIONS A HABIT
Toxic relationships usually involve a lot of abuse (physical, emotional and mental), a lot of name calling, cutting remarks, belittling etc. Hearing such words constantly can be quite depressing and energy zapping. That's why you need to develop the habit of making positive confessions in your private time over your life and future. This will undo the effects of their nasty words and refocus your heart on something positive. When you keep quiet, these wicked words and nasty treatment will begin to erode you like acid. When you speak positive words, they undo the effects of these words and they also shape your future. How much more when the positive words you speak are based on the word of God!
PRAY
When I say pray, I don't only mean that you should pray for God to change them. Yes, the Lord is able to turn people's hearts (see proverbs 21:1). While you pray and wait for God to transform your toxic partner or family member, you also need to pray that God will give you the grace to go through the relationship without being destroyed. Ask for the grace to forgive them over and over again. Ask God to heal both of you and heal your relationship. Ask him for the grace to stay productive, positive and fruitful even in such a toxic environment. Your situation will turn out for good in Jesus name.
GIVE IT TIME TO CHANGE
Yes, God is able to do instant miracles and he still does them. In most cases, when it comes to the pulling down of strongholds of the mind such as mindsets, habits and behaviour patterns, it is usually available gradual process that requires a lot of patience from you. Some days there will be progress, other days there will be relapses, but eventually, you will come out strong.
DO SOMETHING GOOD THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Find something that makes you happy to keep you busy. Whether it's for money or for free, get busy doing something that blesses others and makes you happy. The joy you get from doing it will refill your emotional cup and restore your self-worth; something that is sadly lacking in your relationship. As you water others despite how you feel, God will water your life where it matters the most (see proverbs 11:25).
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
As difficult as this sounds, God can give you the grace to maintain a positive attitude. Despite the constant flow of provocations, you can't afford to develop a nasty attitude. Your positive attitude and behaviour in the face of toxic provocations is one of the tools God will use to turn things around.
CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT
Before you put all the blame on someone else, truthfully psychoanalyse things to see if you have a hand in the toxicity in your relationship and adjust.
GOD'S GRACE IS AVAILABLE
All these things are only possible with God's grace. But it starts with your decision to fight the good fight faith by believing God for a change in your relationship. Experience has shown that when one partner in a toxic relationship prays for God's intervention, he usually begins the process of change in you and eventually works it out through you. Do your part and God will do his. I'll be praying for you.
P. S - If you can watch these two films FIREPROOF and NOT EASILY BROKEN, please do. You will learn a lot from it.
Read related posts
SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.
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