MAN TO WOMAN
Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN, which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu shares 6 more tips on how to spot the man. Juicy tips, I tell you. Read and share with someone around you. How to Spot THE MAN 2
Written by Paul Aliyu
7. He should be matured enough to recognize you as the “BONE OF HIS BONE” and the “FLESH OF HIS FLESH”
A man that cannot see you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh is not fit for you. Such a man is unhealthy for you. A man that sees you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh will not take advantage of you. He will not see you as a woman to be used and dumped. He will not treat you as a slave or maid. He will understand that you both are one. He will understand that existing without you is like living without life itself. He will show and prove to you that you complete him. He will place so much value on you and know you are meant for him without a doubt.
Until he is able to portray all this to you, then understand that he is not mature enough for you and he lacks understanding that you are God’s will for His life.
A man is called the GROOM on the wedding day because he must have GROOMED himself to understand that you are sent to him by God. His spiritual senses should be sound enough to know and differentiate when the Spirit of God is speaking from when emotion and flesh is speaking. By so doing, you will know when he is from God. It also means that your spiritual senses should also be activated. Don’t be driven by emotions but by the Spirit of God.
8. He should be ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to you as his wife
If he is not ready to leave his father and mother, and cleave to you as his wife, it shows he is not a man yet a man but a big boy. He is not ready for marriage yet. The man for you should be matured enough to make good decisions and handle things on his own that will benefit and profit his wife and the family you are both planning to raise. Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying he shouldn’t seek for counsel sometimes, but he should not be a man that runs to Dad, Mum or friends over every small issue in the relationship or home before making decisions on what to do. If he is that type of a man, I’m sorry to inform you that you are dating an “Omo Mummy (Mummy’s Boy).” I advise you give him some more time to stay behind with his parents and take some more milk (and maybe chew some more bones according to Apostle Paul) before considering marriage.
To cleave means that he understands that as his spouse, you are also a major contributor to every decision process in the house. It means he understands that nothing can be done without involving you as his wife. It also means that he understands that you are his partner and nothing goes forward without your contribution. He gives you room when you want to contribute to his life, vision and the family. He should be a man that values your contribution no matter how minute.
Attention! - With respect to this, every woman should endeavor to grow with her spouse. Bridge the gap between you both so that your contributions can commensurate the now. Try not to be outdated. Update yourself with time!
9. He will not be ashamed of you
A man that is meant for you will not be ashamed of you no matter your vulnerability, weakness, flaws, mistakes, etc. You know he is the man for you when he decides to live with you as his spouse despite all your flaws, and to help you with your weaknesses, help you overcome your fears, correct your mistakes in love and humility, and bring out the best in you. Rather than taking advantage of your flaws, he will seek to use that opportunity to mentor and bring out the best in you. He will see the POTENTIALS rather than the ERRORS or DEFFICIENCIES.
10. He will be ready to wait
The man for you will not be in a rush concerning anything (even sex) except he is in doubt or he isn’t sure you are meant for each other. If he is the one, he will be ready to WAIT. The big question is: if he waited all this while till he found you, what more does it cost him to wait patiently till he makes you his (you get married)??? A man that cannot be patient with you now will not be patient with you after marriage. If he is not ready to wait, let him go; and if he is in doubt, then he is not the man for you.
NOTE: At same time, don’t keep him waiting for too long. If you have prayed and you are sure he is the one for you, go ahead. Delay at times can be dangerous! Avoid unnecessary delay.
11. He will bring you closer to God
You must understand that “whatever is from God returns to God.” Relationships or homes are built by God. Seek and desire a man that will always pull you closer to God. Such a relationship will always lean on God for anything and when God is involve, anything can be resolved. When a man is from God (i.e. he is God’s will), he will always seek for God’s will to be done. You cannot accomplish God’s will outside God. A man from God will support and encourage anything that concerns and represents God in your life and relationship.
12. He will make you be at peace, and feel loved and valued
The gift God gives makes rich and adds no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). The right man will always make you be at peace, secure, loved and convinced in your heart that he’s the one for you. But remember that, “all that glitters is not gold.” As convincing as it may seem, make sure you do it prayerfully and not out of emotions or desperation. The man for you will make you feel valued, loved and peaceful, and priced before his family and friends.
Prepare Yourself Now!!!
A popular Nigerian pidgin idiom goes thus “better soup, na money kill am” meaning “soup that is delicious is the result of the MONEY SPENT on it.” It is also often said that, “nothing good comes easy.”… It is so unfortunate in this present generation that we all want to sleep and wake up the next day with all our needs already served on the table (the already-made generation). Nobody wants to work for anything anymore. We are now in an age where we all want the soup to be super DELICIOUS but we’re not ready to SPEND THE MONEY (as well as time, study, sacrifices, prayers, etc) required. Good things don’t just come; they are worked/prepared for. So also, people now want to dream and wake up the next day and discover their ‘God-sent’ Spouse. It does not work like that; God is not a Magician! “Your PREPARATION will determine HOW WELL you will PASS that EXAMINATION.” Don’t just pray for the right man, BECOME THE RIGHT WOMAN. Work on yourself and on your character so you can become the right woman. Don’t you know that THE MAN also has expectations of what he wants in his wife??? If he can’t see those things in you, he will not make you his wife. May God expand everything you’ve learnt so far and show you how to spot the right man for you and how to become the right woman in Jesus name.
P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.
Keep a date with us next WEEK on MAN TO WOMAN as we share a new juicy topic. What will it be? Keep your fingers crossed to find out.
P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.
Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!
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