I’ll
like to start this post by saying that love is a choice, not a feeling. Unfortunately,
Hollywood and the media have propagated love as a feeling (that kind of feeling
that grips you and you can’t help but surrender). Feelings are unstable, they
are triggered by external stimuli; love is a choice to be affectionate and kind
to someone. I’m using the phrase “fell out of love” here to mean the end of a
relationship. Breaking up is not always an easy thing – especially when it
leaves you wondering why it had to come to an end. But if you understand why it
had to come to an end, it becomes easier to go through the healing process.
What are these reasons?
The relationship was based solely on
feelings
Feelings
don’t last forever, they come and go. Feelings are triggered by something:
maybe looks, physical traits, kindness, gifts etc. Feelings are not necessarily
bad but they cannot be the basis of a relationship because they’re not strong
enough to hold it together. The same person making you feel mushy today may
also make you feel like strangling them tomorrow. That is why love is not a
feeling. So, since the feelings grew cold, and the relationship was based on
feelings, it came to an end.
You outgrew each other
For
a relationship to last and stand the test of time, both parties must grow
individually and grow together. If one party begins to neglect his/her personal
growth, it begins to create imbalance. When this happens, instead of growing
together, you’re hobbies and preferences begin to change, misunderstanding
begins to set in, you no longer blend and you eventually start growing apart.
You no longer match each other
This
is sometimes a product of growing apart. Relationships need a degree of
compatibility continuously to be able to last (not alikeness, but
compatibility). Not every relationship leads to marriage. People start
relationships with the intention and hope that it ends in marriage only to
discover that they are not compatible and are therefore not suitable for each
other. When this happens, the inevitable is a break up because a broken
courtship is better than a broken marriage.
The relationship became too toxic
A
good relationship is supposed to enhance your life. A toxic relationship,
however, ends up poisoning you and your life in many ways. Sometimes,
relationships start out well only to become toxic over time. When this happens,
the relationship is gradually eroded until it grinds to a halt. To read more
about toxic relationships, click here and
here.
Move on!
P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here
? Would you like to
advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 
Evidence Grace is
the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's
passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and
marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on
fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.
. She's
passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and
marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on
fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.View Other Recent Posts Click
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5 Gifts you need to give yourself
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Before you risk it
Risk it
What he means when he says I love you
Becoming the Woman of his Dreams Pt 2
Becoming the Woman of his Dreams
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