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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Common Misconceptions about Husbands




Hello dear,
The misconceptions I’m about to share with you today are dangerous mindsets that have come to be accepted in some quarters. If you do not delete them from your mind and renew your mind, they will destroy your marriage when you get married eventually.  If you’re already married, you need to use this post as an x-ray to see if these little foxes are part of your mindset so that you can destroy them before they destroy your beautiful marriage. But before I move on, I need you to read this with an open heart so it can fulfill its purpose in your life. As you read, may the scales of tradition, culture and old wives’ fables concerning husbands and marriage be removed from your heart and mind in Jesus name.

#1 – He is an ATM
Yes, it is the husband’s major role to provide for his family but that does not make him an ATM or a money tree you can pluck from at will. Your husband is not ATM that is available to dispense money to you at your beck and call. Even if he were, just like an ATM runs out of cash sometimes and cannot dispense cash, he may sometimes be unable to give you the things you want and desire. Your husband is HUMAN, he is not Jehovah Jireh who makes a way where there seems to be none. He can only perform according to what he has or is able to get per time. Check it out now – even your biological parents were not ATMs; there were times when they couldn’t give you what you wanted for one reason or the other. Instead of going looking to your husband as the sole provider of all your needs, look unto God as your provider and see your husband as one of God’s major channels to supply your needs. When you have this as a perspective, if your husband can’t meet your needs, God will find a way to meet your needs and you will be able to maintain a good attitude while you wait for God’s provision. It will also prevent you from becoming a nag (the thing all men hate) and move you to pray for God’s provision for your husband instead.

#2 – He is a superman
This mindset entails expecting that your husband can’t be affected by the storms and temptations of life. What this does is that it puts you at ease and prevents you from backing you husband up with words of appreciation, affection, encouragement and prayer. It also makes you insensitive to his struggles and your role as his God-given helper. Even if he is a man of God, he is still a man who may struggle with some things sometimes and will need your help, whether he acts like it or not. Delete from your head completely the fact that you’re marrying or married to a superman. Even superman was not always dressed as superman – sometimes he appears as plain old Clark Kent who needs the love of his woman. You are human and will be married to another human. There is no perfect man.



#3 – He shouldn’t make mistakes
This is related to the previous one. I wish I could promise you that your husband would NEVER make mistakes. But baby girl, as spirit filled as he is, as smart and wise as he is, he will make mistakes sometimes, just as you will. Nobody deliberately plans to make mistakes; mistakes are what they are – MISTAKES. In your mind, you may have written a list of things he should do such as: if he loves me, he wouldn’t _________, he should know ________, he should never speak to me in an angry tone etc. Having unrealistic expectations is a recipe for disaster in marriage. If you have such in your head, delete them. They will do you no good. Not sure if the expectations you have are unrealistic? Email me with graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll help you sift through them and show you which ones are unrealistic.

#4 – He is just like me
Hmmmm!!! This is a very deadly misconception. Your husband may have similar hobbies, interests or goals as you, he may even share your beliefs, but he is not like you. Research and experience has proved that men reason differently and see things from a different perspective, compared to women. They have different needs, priorities and expectations even in marriage. That is on a general level. When it comes to individuality, each man is unique and different. It’s just like comparing Japanese cars with a Mercedes Benz: you may not be able to use the spare parts of Japanese cars on a Mercedes Benz without causing damage. In other words, you can’t relate with your husband as you do with your girlfriends. You must not only understand the peculiar differences between men and women, you must also understand the peculiar differences that differentiate your man from other men. For more details, read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; it will help you tremendously.  

Renew your mind


You can't afford to enter into marriage with misconceptions as your instructors or your cultural history as your coach. Renew your mind. Fill it with the truth from God's word and divinely inspired books on marriage so you can a have a correct view about marriage. It's not enough to find the right man. Prayerfully locate every misconception in your mind about marriage, husbands and your role as a wife, uproot them and replace them with the truth. Romans 12:2 says "do not be conformed to the ways of the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...". An unrenewed mind can destroy a heaven ordained relationship or marriage. A word, they say, is enough for the wise. xoxo 

Can you think of any other misconceptions about husbands? Guys in the house, we need your views ooo. 

P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here? Would you like to advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

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2 comments:

  1. GabbyJuly 3, 2015 at 9:52 AM

    Wooww!!! I need to clap for you over n over again. This post is indeed loaded.
    The misconceptions a lot of people have in their mind is dangerous and destructive. How can u believe that your husband is everything.. Yes all we need is renew our minds with the word of God..

    First time visiting your blog and truly i love this post..
    GABBY SPEAKS: TOP 10 THINGS EVERY SINGLE LADY MUST DO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownJuly 3, 2015 at 11:14 AM

      Thanks Gabby. I appreciate your kind words. May God remove the scales from our eyes and help us adjust.

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