Showing posts with label spouse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spouse. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

BECOMING THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS 2



MAN TO WOMAN
Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu finishes his post on becoming the dream woman. Read and share with someone around you. 

Today, Paul Aliyu continues with the second part of how to become the woman of his dreams.  If you missed the first part of the blogpost, click here to read. It's gonna be a long read but I promise you won't regret it. Happy reading!!! 

SO HOW DO I BECOME THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS?
1. Be a dream - driven person
You cannot be the woman of his dreams if you are not driven (passionate, obsessed, motivated) by dreams. To be driven by dreams means to be attracted to his dreams. It means you desire to be with him because you have found out that both of you can accomplish a purpose and achieve goals together. The bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed.”

Agreement is the key word here. Your purpose/dreams must agree. Remember God made Eve for Adam at the point of his fulfilling his God given assignment. Adam met Eve at that point he was busy fulfilling what God commanded him to do. You cannot fit into his dreams (purpose) if you are not passionate about purpose yourself. It will become difficult for you to blend in if you are not dream driven.
“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers” – Orison Swett Marden

2. Prepare and be busy
Preparation is one aspect that can never be ignored if you want to fit into his dreams. Though you have not met him (in person) but prepare ahead of your meeting with him. In most cases, your meeting is designated in your place of preparation or fulfilling destiny. A man with purpose will get attracted to you in your place of fulfilling destiny. He will be attracted by your works, efforts and zeal in your place of fulfilling destiny.

Never ignore preparation because in that place of preparation, anything good can happen.
Purpose attracts purpose; idleness will always attract idleness
A man that has been born with purpose, burning with accomplishing and fulfilling purpose will never be attracted by idleness. It is your busyness fulfilling purpose that will attract him to you.

God brought Eve to Adam after creating her. Be busy fulfilling God’s will for your life and in doing that, He will bring you to your Adam. gold is not sought for in the desert but in the goldmine. Make yourself into a goldmineLet him find you in the place of fulfilling destiny. Don’t just sit down waiting and doing nothing.
Purpose is not fulfilled in bed but in the field. So wake up and make yourself useful to yourself and to God while waiting for him.

3. Be teachable and Submissive
You must be a teachable person who is always willing to learn. Remember you are praying to be the woman of his dreams, so you must be willing to listen to him and learn so that you can work together effectively.

Submission is the major role given to the Woman in marriage. Don’t be a headache to him by not showing interest in what God has called him to do. When he receives instructions from God and instructs, be ready to obey and follow. He sees you teachable because he wants you to reach to your ability. It simply means he believes you can do it. What more do you desire than a man who believes in you? Experience has taught me that it is one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive in the world; to be believed in.

A teachable woman is a rich-able woman. Become a well of knowledge. The digging might take time but the deeper the well, the neater and better the water found in the well. Be patient and be a good listener.

4. Believe in him and in his dreams
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is one thing to believe in someone and another to believe in that person’s dreams.
You cannot be of help to your man if you don’t believe in him or in his dreams. You should not be a source of discouragement to him. Even when the world is up against him; be that one woman standing by him. No man can ever forget a woman that stands/stood by him when the world was all against him. He might not be there yet, but always tell him and assure him that he can get there. Never lose faith in him. It is often said that “beside every successful man, there is a woman.” You must desire to be that woman beside your man.
Be that beam that illuminates his dream(s)

5. Update and Upgrade
You must have this understanding that what makes information relevant is the fact that it relates to the situation it is been applied. You cannot be useful or relevant to his dreams if your opinions don’t relate to his dreams and purpose. It is therefore expedient that you update and upgrade yourself with time. To update simply means to add to existing information. It is modification of something to a more recent, up-to-date version. On the other hand, to upgrade means to replace an existing object with something better.

Make sure you are adding knowledge to yourself from time to time. Even if you are not knowledgeable in the aspect of his dreams, seek and become knowledgeable so you can be useful to him. On the other hand, don’t just add knowledge but see yourself transform to a better person from who you were before you met him.
Add value and keep adding value. You cannot be priced above your worth

6. Always pray for him
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure” – Paulo Coelho

There is nothing as blessed than for a man to have a praying woman by his side. A man with such woman by his side can accomplish anything when she is on her knees seeking the face of the Father on his behalf. Be a praying partner. Be busy interceding on his behalf because there is nothing better you can offer a man of purpose than to agree with him in prayers. Every praying wife is a GIFT from God. Be a gift to your man. Be that woman he will always look up to God and appreciate Him for sending her into his life.

7. Be a team player
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed.”
Relationship/marriage is all about team work. God decided to make the woman for the man because He knew that the man needs or will need help at one point in time.
No man is an island. Every successful relationship/marriage is a product of team work
The idea of “Me, Myself and I” should be knocked off from the onset. You are going into that man’s life to help him fulfill God’s purpose and assignment for his life. So be a team player. Don’t be found wanting at any point in time. Be supportive, contributive, attentive and helpful. You are in his life to make him a better him. Without that, you don’t exist in his life

8. Discover you
The truth is that you cannot give what you don’t have.
Have you even discovered what you have? Have you taken time to discover your worth?
It is said that “iron sharpeneth iron.” Are you an iron or a wood? Understand that a wood cannot sharpen an iron. It is either the iron becomes blunt or the wood is destroyed in the process of trying to sharpen the iron. You become useful to your man when you have discovered yourself. Most relationships/marriages suffer today because most women have not discovered who they are. They try to imitate other women and friends thereby causing problems in their relationship or marriage.

No man wants to go the market to buy a fake product or an imitation. They always want the real deal. You must come to an understanding that fake products don’t last. If you imitate friend ‘A’ today, who will you be tomorrow? Be who you really are and let him love you for you. Therefore discover who you really are before meeting him and always be yourself.
The only person you are permitted to be apart from you is being a better and improved you.
God worked on Eve before bringing her to Adam; so let God work on you before meeting your Adam. Don’t be faster than God.

If he is just attracted to your looks, what happens if the looks diminish tomorrow? Will he still love you like he used to? A man that desires the woman of his dreams will focus more on your works rather than looks because your works is what proofs to him that you fit into his dreams (God given assignment) rather than your looks. Looks are just an added advantage.

Did this post bless you? Share it with someone around you. Wanna say something? Your comments are welcome.

P.S: Next week, on MAN TO WOMAN, we will be having a different guest blogger and he will be sharing on something entirely different. Keep your fingers crossed.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 
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Saturday, May 2, 2015

Prayer is not Witchcraft

Dedicated to everyone who prays and is in need of a spouse...

Happy new month to us all. May God show up for us in mighty ways this month in Jesus name. I’m sooo excited at this new month and set for what God is about to do. This morning, I was about to put up another blogpost when this topic entered my heart and I’ll like to address it.

Prayer is a beautiful thing. It is an avenue to communicate with God and receive what we need from him. It is an avenue to change situations and release God’s power to change lives. As empowering as this sounds, it is not an avenue to manipulate people, especially when it comes to the matters of love.

No matter how you fast and pray that God should give you a particular man or woman as husband or wife, he will only answer that prayer in line with his will. Even if you go on a forty-day fast, God will NEVER give you someone who is not his will for you as a spouse. Persisting in praying that God should give you a particular person as a spouse is equal to witchcraft. Yes! What you’re doing is trying to twist God’s arm via your prayers and manipulate him into going outside his will. Unfortunately, you cannot get God to act outside his will, especially in relationship matters. Abi na babalawo (witch doctor) Christian you don turn to? You will end up wasting your prayers and spiritual energy without results. No matter how many times Balaam attempted to curse Israel as prompted by Balak, it was a waste of time because it was not God’s will. Instead of wasting your prayers and praying amiss, here’s what you should do.


  1. Tell God about your desire to have that person as a spouse.
  2. Ask God to give you the person if it is his will. 
  3. Pray that if the person is not God’s will for you, God should give you the man/woman that best suits you.
  4.  Ask God to give you the grace to accept his answer graciously. 
  5. Ask him to open your eyes/heart to discern who he has for you and the grace to receive the person he has for you.
When you pray in this manner, incase the person you’re asking for is not God’s will, he will move to give you whoever suits you best and thereby, you won’t be praying amiss. 

No be by decreeing
If you think you are a prayer warrior and one who decrees things to happen and they do, this is one area where the counsel of God alone will prevail, not just what you decree. So if you’re busy decreeing and declaring that so so person is your spouse, it is one prayer God will only grant according to his will and not just in line with your decrees. For your information, that person you’re asking God to give you as a spouse, there are others wishing, desiring, praying and even fasting that God should give them the person too. So, who is God going to answer??? I speak not with a sense of judgment or displeasure but as a sister who wants to see you get it right and not miss it in the place of your prayers. 


Keep it in mind that if God ever refuses to allow you have someone as a spouse it is because he has seen the end from the beginning and he knows that you are not suitable for each other, no matter how good he/she seems to be on the outside. It’s not about he/she being a good or wonderful person, it’s not about he/she having all the qualities you desire, it’s about he/she being THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU and a SUITABLE HELPER for you. They may be good, yes, but not right for you. God is wiser than you are and wants the best for you always. Learn to trust his judgments and his answers to your prayers. Be open to receive whoever he has for you and you will never miss it in Jesus name.

Have a blessed month. xoxo

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life and becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.


Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 
 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 
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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Now That You’re Married-Make It Work


Nothing works out by chance; someone has to work it out. Make it work!!!
Congratulations to all the newly-weds and couples reading this. You’re living the reality of what most singles dream and wish for. The more they (single people) see you, the more they pray to be in your shoes. However, with the high rate of divorce these days, it sometimes gets the singles wondering and skeptical of toeing that line. When you got married to your spouse, I’m quite sure that you were all smiles, making those vows, hoping the fairy tale experience of the wedding would never end. When you buy a brand new car, it looks really great; but it’s how you handle and maintain that car that will determine if it will look great and not pack-up in the years to come. The same thing applies to your marriage: you have to make it work. It’s not enough to get married, it takes extra-work to stay married and I mean happily married.
Marital Adjustment Is Important
http://psychologicaldictionary.org defines marital adjustment as the process during which partners in a marriage adapt and change to their new roles in order to complement each other and function as a team. This process ought to start after tying the knot and is widely accepted by psychologists as one of the factors crucial to the stability, sweetness and success of a marriage. Now the two big questions are: have you adjusted to your new status as a married person and are you adjusting to your spouse’s personality daily? 

Yes, your status changed on paper and you probably have a ring on your finger, but are you acting in line with the demands of your new role? There are patterns of behaviour that were tolerable when you were single but will ruin your marriage if you don’t let them go. Such things include discussing details of your marriage that should be kept secret with your “friends”, taking huge/serious decisions especially with regards to your career &finances without consulting your spouse, insisting on having your way all the time, doing things only when you feel like it and many more. Ahn! Ahn! Your new status as a married person does not permit these. Staying out late unnecessarily and having strange friends of the opposite sex indiscriminately will only land you into trouble with your spouse. Don’t be a married person living like a single person; it will gradually ruin your marriage.
Study your spouse, find out what they like, how they like it, what makes them hurt or angry and how they act when hurt or angry. Discover what they like in bed and see how you can bring it on; discover their soft and hot buttons and everything about their personality and temperament and see how you can adjust positively. Find out their love language and speak it. 

Do Everything You Can
Upgrade your looks and your skills all round. Have a regular check to be sure there are no weeds of bitterness, nasty behaviours, unforgiveness and taking each other for granted growing in your relationship. Don’t forget to pray over you, your spouse and your marriage because when men pray, God acts. If people go to the extent of getting “juju” to make their marriages work, why can’t you get yours by “getting God”? Check to see if your communication with each other is not broken and reduced to talks about the kids and what happened at work alone. Take time out of your busy schedule to spend exclusive time with your spouse. If you keep putting the blame on how busy you are, you’ll wake up one day and discover that you guys have become two strangers living as housemates. Just like you regularly check your tyres, your engine oil and the fuel level of your car so you can change or refill them, check yourself and your relationship with your spouse to see what you can do to improve things. It’s quite crazy the attention we give to our cars and jobs to ensure they’re in top shape only to ignore our spouses and marriages. 
Your kids need your marriage to work, last and be sweet; set a good example for them by being the reason they want to get married. As you make your bed, so you’ll like on it. Beds don’t make themselves; people do! Quit complaining the bed isn’t made, quit complaining your marriage is not sweet anymore; make your bed; make your marriage work. The attention you give to making it work will yield a beautiful harvest for you to enjoy. Check out other things that won’t be helpful to your marriage here and here.
P.S- Good News: You can now subscribe to follow this blog via email to get new posts on the blog in your inbox. If you’re reading this from a mobile device, click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version. Have a sweet week.
Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.
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