Prayer is not Witchcraft

Dedicated to everyone who prays and is in need of a spouse...

Happy new month to us all. May God show up for us in mighty ways this month in Jesus name. I’m sooo excited at this new month and set for what God is about to do. This morning, I was about to put up another blogpost when this topic entered my heart and I’ll like to address it.

Prayer is a beautiful thing. It is an avenue to communicate with God and receive what we need from him. It is an avenue to change situations and release God’s power to change lives. As empowering as this sounds, it is not an avenue to manipulate people, especially when it comes to the matters of love.

No matter how you fast and pray that God should give you a particular man or woman as husband or wife, he will only answer that prayer in line with his will. Even if you go on a forty-day fast, God will NEVER give you someone who is not his will for you as a spouse. Persisting in praying that God should give you a particular person as a spouse is equal to witchcraft. Yes! What you’re doing is trying to twist God’s arm via your prayers and manipulate him into going outside his will. Unfortunately, you cannot get God to act outside his will, especially in relationship matters. Abi na babalawo (witch doctor) Christian you don turn to? You will end up wasting your prayers and spiritual energy without results. No matter how many times Balaam attempted to curse Israel as prompted by Balak, it was a waste of time because it was not God’s will. Instead of wasting your prayers and praying amiss, here’s what you should do.

1. Tell God about your desire to have that person as a spouse.
2. Ask God to give you the person if it is his will. 
3. Pray that if the person is not God’s will for you, God should give you the man/woman that best suits you.
4.  Ask God to give you the grace to accept his answer graciously. 
5. Ask him to open your eyes/heart to discern who he has for you and the grace to receive the person he has for you.

When you pray in this manner, incase the person you’re asking for is not God’s will, he will move to give you whoever suits you best and thereby, you won’t be praying amiss. 

No be by decreeing

If you think you are a prayer warrior and one who decrees things to happen and they do, this is one area where the counsel of God alone will prevail, not just what you decree. So if you’re busy decreeing and declaring that so so person is your spouse, it is one prayer God will only grant according to his will and not just in line with your decrees. For your information, that person you’re asking God to give you as a spouse, there are others wishing, desiring, praying and even fasting that God should give them the person too. So, who is God going to answer??? I speak not with a sense of judgment or displeasure but as a sister who wants to see you get it right and not miss it in the place of your prayers. 

Keep it in mind that if God ever refuses to allow you have someone as a spouse it is because he has seen the end from the beginning and he knows that you are not suitable for each other, no matter how good he/she seems to be on the outside. It’s not about he/she being a good or wonderful person, it’s not about he/she having all the qualities you desire, it’s about he/she being THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU and a SUITABLE HELPER for you. They may be good, yes, but not right for you. God is wiser than you are and wants the best for you always. Learn to trust his judgments and his answers to your prayers. Be open to receive whoever he has for you and you will never miss it in Jesus name.

Have a blessed month. xoxo

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life and becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

Got questions, observations or comments? Wanna be a guest blogger here? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

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Things that Make Her Lose Respect for You

Today’s blogpost is dedicated to the guys as an eye opener...


It has become a widely accepted fact that men desire to be respected and cannot tolerate continued disrespect, especially from the woman in their life. A lot of times, relationships start out sweet and exhilarating but eventually turn out sour with time for different reasons. One of these reasons is disrespect. I’m not here to justify sudden disrespect in a relationship but to show you the seemingly little things that trigger disrespect in relationships, especially when it’s coming from the woman to the man. You can call them the little triggers that lead to disrespect in a relationship/marriage. For every action, they say, there is a corresponding reaction. Instead of accusing the woman in your life for the sudden attitude of disrespect, you may need to take an x-ray look at yourself to see if you’re triggering disrespect from your woman via your actions.

#1 – You’re Lazy
By “lazy” here, I mean you lack a drive to do what is necessary to advance and improve your social and financial status. And it has nothing to do with being jobless or not having enough money. A woman may be willing to start a relationship with you when you’re jobless or earning peanuts in the hopes that you’ll keep going after better opportunities and someday soon, the story will change for the better. She will even go to the extent of supporting you financially. However, her respect for you will dwindle if you have traded job-hunting and advancement in your career/purpose for sleeping all day and living of her money/stagnation. It’s verrrrryyy difficult for a woman to respect and stay with a lazy man, except if she’s a cougar, of course.


#2 – You’re Inconsiderate
One of the things women love is the ability to be considerate. To be considerate means
- to be careful not to inconvenience others;
- to be thoughtful;
- to think about the rights, needs, and feelings of others;
- to respect other people’s feelings, circumstances etc.
When you’re inconsiderate, you’re the opposite of all these. People who are inconsiderate are brash, tactless, and insensitive in their dealings, so they end up leaving a trail of offences. No matter how much she loves you, if you make being inconsiderate a lifestyle, you will no longer get the best from the woman in your life and by the law of seed time and harvest, you will eventually start reaping disrespect and harshness from your once caring woman.

#3 – You’re Fond of Passing on Your Responsibilities to her
The woman who loves you will be more than willing to assist you and fill in for you with regards to handling your responsibility when the need arises. However, if you make a habit of passing on your responsibilities to her because you’re simply stingy or your continued laziness has made you permanently incapable of handling them, you will have a resentful woman on your hands. Also, when you insist on sharing ALL financial responsibilities with the woman in your life 50-50, you’re gradually eroding her respect for you. Nothing makes you blossom in your woman’s eyes like when you handle your responsibilities like man that you are.

#4 – You Have No Drive to Improve
A woman, by divine design, is designed to beautify, enhance, and transform everything she comes in contact with, and that includes you. Just as she is able to transform a plain house into a magnificent home, raw food stuff into a delicious meal, and sperm cells into a baby, God has placed her in your life to influence, encourage and spur you into become the best you could ever be. If you allow her, she will push you to greater heights in life and destiny. However, nothing is as frustrating to a woman as a man who doesn’t want to improve or rise up the ladder of success. And unfortunately, it erodes her respect for you and that’s when you begin to hear things like “your mates are doing this and that but you refuse to improve”.

#5 – Your Lack of Self-Control
Hmmmmmm!!! Do I need to explain this one? Okay. I will. Most women acknowledge that it is not easy for men to stay faithful these days; however, they also know it is not impossible, especially with God’s grace. Cheating on her once, is a mistake. Cheating on her twice may still be considered as a mistake. But cheating on her thrice makes it a habit, an addiction or a character flaw. Even with a thousand apologies, bribery gifts or i-love-yous, the respect and trust escapes. All she sees you as is a randy he-goat who will probably give her an STD or HIV soon. It’s hard for women to respect a man without self-control, even though they may tolerate him or stay with him because of the kids or the money.


To the men
What you sow, you shall reap. If you keep sowing these actions, you will continually reap disrespect from the woman in your life via words, actions, or outbursts. Even if she is the most patient woman on the earth, she will get to a breaking point eventually and you will not like the outcome. Tie up these loose ends and you won’t be leading her into the temptation to disrespect you.


To the single women
If you’re dating a man whom you’re having difficulties respecting due to these factors, find a suitable time and talk to him about it. Pray for him too, because the ability to change comes from God. Then give him the allowance of time to change/improve. However, if you’ve done both and he still isn’t changing, and you can’t see yourself marrying him like that, you may consider ending the relationship.

To the woman married to a man who she can no longer respect
You’re in for the long haul so there is no going back. I know it’s currently hard to respect him now, considering all that has happened. But there is grace (ability) available in God to honour and respect that man you married, even though he’s not worthy. That same grace is able to transform him into the man you will be proud of. Take your frustration to God in prayer. Tell him how hard it is to respect your husband and ask him for grace to do what is right (respect your husband). Pray that God will help your husband overcome his weaknesses.

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life and becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.
 
Got questions, observations or comments, email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

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How to Spot THE MAN 2

MAN TO WOMAN

Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu shares 6 more tips on how to spot the man. Juicy tips, I tell you. Read and share with someone around you. 

How to Spot THE MAN 2
Written by Paul Aliyu

This post is a sequel to an earlier post on the same topic. Today, our guest blogger Paul Aliyu shares 6 more ways to spot the man God has for you. To read the previous post, click here. This is one blogpost you need to save on your phone, print out and read it to the point that it sinks into your spirit and your mind. Another thing, do a sister a favour and share this with her. Happy reading.

7. He should be matured enough to recognize you as the “BONE OF HIS BONE” and the “FLESH OF HIS FLESH”
A man that cannot see you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh is not fit for you. Such a man is unhealthy for you. A man that sees you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh will not take advantage of you. He will not see you as a woman to be used and dumped. He will not treat you as a slave or maid. He will understand that you both are one. He will understand that existing without you is like living without life itself. He will show and prove to you that you complete him. He will place so much value on you and know you are meant for him without a doubt.
Until he is able to portray all this to you, then understand that he is not mature enough for you and he lacks understanding that you are God’s will for His life.

A man is called the GROOM on the wedding day because he must have GROOMED himself to understand that you are sent to him by God. His spiritual senses should be sound enough to know and differentiate when the Spirit of God is speaking from when emotion and flesh is speaking. By so doing, you will know when he is from God. It also means that your spiritual senses should also be activated. Don’t be driven by emotions but by the Spirit of God.

8. He should be ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to you as his wife
If he is not ready to leave his father and mother, and cleave to you as his wife, it shows he is not a man yet a man but a big boy. He is not ready for marriage yet. The man for you should be matured enough to make good decisions and handle things on his own that will benefit and profit his wife and the family you are both planning to raise. Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying he shouldn’t seek for counsel sometimes, but he should not be a man that runs to Dad, Mum or friends over every small issue in the relationship or home before making decisions on what to do. If he is that type of a man, I’m sorry to inform you that you are dating an “Omo Mummy (Mummy’s Boy).” I advise you give him some more time to stay behind with his parents and take some more milk (and maybe chew some more bones according to Apostle Paul) before considering marriage.

To cleave means that he understands that as his spouse, you are also a major contributor to every decision process in the house. It means he understands that nothing can be done without involving you as his wife. It also means that he understands that you are his partner and nothing goes forward without your contribution. He gives you room when you want to contribute to his life, vision and the family. He should be a man that values your contribution no matter how minute.
Attention! - With respect to this, every woman should endeavor to grow with her spouse. Bridge the gap between you both so that your contributions can commensurate the now. Try not to be outdated. Update yourself with time!

9. He will not be ashamed of you
A man that is meant for you will not be ashamed of you no matter your vulnerability, weakness, flaws, mistakes, etc. You know he is the man for you when he decides to live with you as his spouse despite all your flaws, and to help you with your weaknesses, help you overcome your fears, correct your mistakes in love and humility, and bring out the best in you. Rather than taking advantage of your flaws, he will seek to use that opportunity to mentor and bring out the best in you. He will see the POTENTIALS rather than the ERRORS or DEFFICIENCIES.

10. He will be ready to wait
The man for you will not be in a rush concerning anything (even sex) except he is in doubt or he isn’t sure you are meant for each other. If he is the one, he will be ready to WAIT. The big question is: if he waited all this while till he found you, what more does it cost him to wait patiently till he makes you his (you get married)??? A man that cannot be patient with you now will not be patient with you after marriage. If he is not ready to wait, let him go; and if he is in doubt, then he is not the man for you.
NOTE: At same time, don’t keep him waiting for too long. If you have prayed and you are sure he is the one for you, go ahead. Delay at times can be dangerous! Avoid unnecessary delay.

11. He will bring you closer to God
You must understand that “whatever is from God returns to God.” Relationships or homes are built by God. Seek and desire a man that will always pull you closer to God. Such a relationship will always lean on God for anything and when God is involve, anything can be resolved. When a man is from God (i.e. he is God’s will), he will always seek for God’s will to be done. You cannot accomplish God’s will outside God. A man from God will support and encourage anything that concerns and represents God in your life and relationship.

12. He will make you be at peace, and feel loved and valued
The gift God gives makes rich and adds no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). The right man will always make you be at peace, secure, loved and convinced in your heart that he’s the one for you. But remember that, “all that glitters is not gold.” As convincing as it may seem, make sure you do it prayerfully and not out of emotions or desperation. The man for you will make you feel valued, loved and peaceful, and priced before his family and friends.

Prepare Yourself Now!!!
A popular Nigerian pidgin idiom goes thus “better soup, na money kill am” meaning “soup that is delicious is the result of the MONEY SPENT on it.” It is also often said that, “nothing good comes easy.”… It is so unfortunate in this present generation that we all want to sleep and wake up the next day with all our needs already served on the table (the already-made generation). Nobody wants to work for anything anymore. We are now in an age where we all want the soup to be super DELICIOUS but we’re not ready to SPEND THE MONEY (as well as time, study, sacrifices, prayers, etc) required. Good things don’t just come; they are worked/prepared for. So also, people now want to dream and wake up the next day and discover their ‘God-sent’ Spouse. It does not work like that; God is not a Magician! “Your PREPARATION will determine HOW WELL you will PASS that EXAMINATION.” Don’t just pray for the right man, BECOME THE RIGHT WOMAN. Work on yourself and on your character so you can become the right woman. Don’t you know that THE MAN also has expectations of what he wants in his wife??? If he can’t see those things in you, he will not make you his wife. May God expand everything you’ve learnt so far and show you how to spot the right man for you and how to become the right woman in Jesus name.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Keep a date with us next WEEK on MAN TO WOMAN as we share a new juicy topic. What will it be? Keep your fingers crossed to find out. 

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 



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You Are Perfect the Way You Are

Hello beautiful,
Today, we commence a new column tagged SUNDAY SPECIAL on the blog. It's a variety column packed with lots of stuff to make your Sunday as well as the rest of your week more blessed. Today's topic YOU'RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE is a short charge to refuel your soul for the week. Happy reading.

As long as the earth remains, people will have opinions about you. Some will think you’re too skinny or too fat, too short or too tall, too shy or too bold, too this or too that. Some will think you’re awesome and others will be like “Pwah! She no fine jor!” (meaning: she’s not beautiful). As a popular Nigerian pidgin idiom goes “na dem get their mouth” (meaning: they are entitled to their own opinion). You cannot continue perceiving yourself according to their definition of you. They did not create you and therefore have no right to define you. The one who created you says concerning you that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).


No matter how you look, God created you intentionally to suit his purpose. You don’t have to win awards as the finest or the most beautiful, all you need to do is accept yourself the way you are. Stop wishing you were taller, bustier, fairer etc. This line of thought drains your confidence and zeal for life and shifts your focus from fulfilling purpose to looking for the nearest remedy to what you perceive as faults. Come on! There are better things to spend your money and time on than constantly looking for something to enhance your physical looks.


Who Told You That?
Genesis 3:11 says “Who told you that you were naked?...” This was a question God asked Adam after he and his wife’s eyes were open to their inadequacies and they ran to hide themselves. Since the days of old, that ancient serpent the devil has been trying to get us into situations where we begin to think we’re inadequate and lose our God-confidence. But the same question God asked is what I’m asking you today - Who told you that you were too this or too that?

Reject every definition of you that is not from God and that does not align with God’s definition of you. Colossians 2:10 says “and you are complete in him… (Christ Jesus)”; you see, you’re perfect in Christ. I come against every negative label, every insultive, abusive, and negative word ever spoken against you to your hearing in the name of Jesus. You are not what they say: you are perfect in Christ. Believe God’s definition of you and it will set you free from negative name tags previously spoken against you in Jesus name.

Write down these words boldly on your bedroom wall, your screen saver or anywhere you can look at it daily – I’M NOT TOO THIS OR THAT, I’M PERFECT THE WAY I AM BECAUSE I’M PERFECT IN CHRIST. May the cobwebs of the past be removed from your perception of yourself that you might begin to see that you are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made in Jesus name. Have a fruitful, productive, positive surprise filled week.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

P. S - How to Spot THE MAN continues this Tuesday on our Column MAN TO WOMAN. Paul Aliyu shares six more tips on how to spot the right man for you. Keep a date with us. 

Don't forget to hit the share button to share your favourite posts with your family, friends and loved ones.  Xoxo 

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How to Spot THE MAN

INTRO
Today, we commence a new column called MAN TO WOMAN which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women. Today's topic is... 

How to Spot THE MAN
Written by Paul Aliyu

The definition of THE MAN in this recent age is a MALE who is above the “teen age”. The question today is, was that God’s perspective or idea of THE MAN when He said, “It is not good for THE MAN to be alone”? WHO and WHAT is the definition of THE MAN God was talking about in this context? If we can have a true understanding of this man, how sweet will our marriages and homes turn out to be! Listen to this: “The fact that he is a MALE does NOT make him THE MAN for you.” So what is the definition and perspective of THE MAN God meant (The Man for you)?

1. Men are not BORN; they are MADE

A man is not the man for you simply because he was born a male. He is the man for you because he has been able to grow himself into a man. Men are first of all born boys then they develop with time into men.

He does not qualify as the man for you because of his age, features or gender. He qualifies as the man for you as a result of what he constitutes mentally, character wise, and his ability to assume and handle the responsibilities of a man. Don’t be so much in a hurry to have the man or else you may end up having a matured boy who calls himself a man who is actually immature and half-baked. Make sure you see those attributes that a man (not a matured boy) should possess in Him. Failure to do so will end you in an immature or premature relationship which can bring about deformity in the relationship or marriage.

2. He will be Real (The Man was formed by God)

When God created man, He formed man. This means He gave him a shape and a structure that made him visible and describable. A man that God has ordained for you will always be real. He will be a man that you can easily define who he is in all ramifications. In other words, he will mean what he says and will say what he means. You will be able to regard him for his words and you will see and take him for WHO HE IS and not WHO HE CLAIMS TO BE.

The man that is meant for you will stand for what he says and take responsibilities for his actions. He will stand for truth, integrity, and honesty so as to live happily with you as the woman of his dreams. The man will not be two-sided or double-faced like the two-sides of a coin. He will be plain and real. His YES will be YES and his NO, NO!

3. He will be God-like (made in the image and likeness of God)

A friend asked me recently, “How do I know if the man is from God? I answered her by asking this question in return: “When you see a man’s child, you know he is the man’s child from the resemblance. Am I right?” she replied “YES!” When God wants to give you (His daughter) a man, He will give you a man that resembles Him. God is interested in giving you His best as His daughter. He will not give to you what will be below His standards. The best standard you can ever get is God’s standard.

The man God has in mind for you is a man that constitutes God’s attributes, nature and character. There is nothing you want in a man that is not in God. So God’s desire for you is for you to have a man that resembles Him; a man that possesses all that you have ever wanted in a man even without telling him (the man). A man made in God’s image and likeness.

NOTE: THE MANUFACTURER (in this case God) will always PRODUCE (give/answer) what will SATISFY the WANTS (taste/prayer points/desires) of the CONSUMER (his sons/daughters); even better that you can ever imagine.

4. He will LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY

God gave the man and the woman different responsibilities in marriage. Man was made to love the wife even unto the point of death. It’s so unfortunate that the WORLD gives a different definition to the LOVE the WORD of God talks about. Does he love you unconditionally, even unto the point of death? Does he get pissed off at your every offense and want to break up without thinking twice? Does he overlook and forgive your offenses? Does his love for you OUTWEIGH all your offenses? If he does not, then you need to have a re-think and possibly give him more time to GROW INTO A MAN before thinking of a relationship or marriage.

5. He must have discovered his God-given purpose

God decided to create the woman for a man so as to be a help-meet to him. Marrying a man who has not found his God-given purpose will amount to just becoming another woman by his side instead of a “help-meet”.

The primary intention of marriage is for two people (Man and Woman) to fulfill a particular assignment. When that assignment is taken off from marriage, marriage ceases to be marriage. Don’t just seek for any man; seek for a man with a purpose (a vision). Just as people perish for lack of vision, a marriage can perish too for lack of it. There is no point being with a man who cannot define why he needs you in his life. It is said that “Where there is no purpose, abuse is inevitable.” Refuse to be in his life just to bear children, cook for him, wash his clothes, for the pleasure of sex alone, etc. You were equipped beyond that! Don’t just try to be a man’s wife, woman, lab-rat or baby factory; rather, desire to be his help-meet. You have a role to play in his life, vision and assignment.

I always say that, the poorest man on earth is a man without a vision or purpose. A man with wealth but without purpose or vision will soon come to poverty. When a man has a vision and purpose, it might only take time to mature and maybe gather resources for execution of that vision but when all is set, the sky will be his spring board. Don’t just get attracted to his wealth, good looks, phonetics, etc but be glued to his vision and God-given assignment. That is the reason you are in his life. He should be RESPONSIBLE and WORKING (with a PURPOSE), busy accomplishing a purpose or birthing a vision that includes a special role for you as his wife the woman of his dreams.

6. God should be his utmost priority

When God created man, He made man out of dust. Man received life after God breathed into him. Man exists because of the breath God breathed into him.  So have this understanding that the good you can find in any man is because of the fear of God in that man. When you take God out of any man, he is bound to do any kind of evil without feeling any guilt for his actions. Take God away from any man and expect any kind of rubbish from him.

The man God plan for you as a woman is a man that sees God as the essence of his existence; a man with the fear of the Lord; a man that is willing to give everything up but not God. The more of God a man has, the more good you see in him. This makes your relationship with such a man peaceful and enjoyable. You are bound to enjoy marriage to a man whose heart is given to God, owned by God and has the fear of God. Run from a man that puts you first before God. Such a man can hurt you without thinking twice because the fear of God is not in him. God should be the most essential part of a man you desire. It is the God in him that makes him the great and loving husband you seek and desire.

To be continued…

Keep a date with us next week as he shares with us more attributes of THE MAN that will make it easier for you to spot the right man for you.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 

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HANDLING A TOXIC PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP Pt 2

What to do when you find yourself in a toxic permanent relationship... 


This post is a sequel to previous post I did yesterday which bears the same title (click here to read). Today, I'll be dealing with practical ways to handle a toxic permanent relationship (e.g marriage or family relationship). Here we go!

IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT
If people knew better, they would act better. If your spouse or family member knew better, they won't be the source/cause of the toxicity you're experiencing in your marriage / relationship. We're products of the environments we've been raised in and experiences we've encountered. All some people know is how to be toxic simply because that is all they've been through. It's not that they don't love - It's just that they don't know how to relate with you in a healthy way. It's also not your fault that somehow, they've become a permanent part of your life. Besides, hurting people hurt others, especially when they've been hurt all their lives.

MAKE POSITIVE CONFESSIONS A HABIT
Toxic relationships usually involve a lot of abuse (physical, emotional and mental), a lot of name calling, cutting remarks, belittling etc. Hearing such words constantly can be quite depressing and energy zapping. That's why you need to develop the habit of making positive confessions in your private time over your life and future. This will undo the effects of their nasty words and refocus your heart on something positive. When you keep quiet, these wicked words and nasty treatment will begin to erode you like acid. When you speak positive words, they undo the effects of these words and they also shape your future. How much more when the positive words you speak are based on the word of God!


PRAY
When I say pray, I don't only mean that you should pray for God to change them. Yes, the Lord is able to turn people's hearts (see proverbs 21:1). While you pray and wait for God to transform your toxic partner or family member, you also need to pray that God will give you the grace to go through the relationship without being destroyed. Ask for the grace to forgive them over and over again. Ask God to heal both of you and heal your relationship. Ask him for the grace to stay productive, positive and fruitful even in such a toxic environment. Your situation will turn out for good in Jesus name.

GIVE IT TIME TO CHANGE
Yes, God is able to do instant miracles and he still does them. In most cases, when it comes to the pulling down of strongholds of the mind such as mindsets, habits and behaviour patterns, it is usually available gradual process that requires a lot of patience from you. Some days there will be progress, other days there will be relapses, but eventually, you will come out strong.

DO SOMETHING GOOD THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Find something that makes you happy to keep you busy. Whether it's for money or for free, get busy doing something that blesses others and makes you happy. The joy you get from doing it will refill your emotional cup and restore your self-worth; something that is sadly lacking in your relationship. As you water others despite how you feel, God will water your life where it matters the most (see proverbs 11:25).

MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
As difficult as this sounds, God can give you the grace to maintain a positive attitude. Despite the constant flow of provocations, you can't afford to develop a nasty attitude. Your positive attitude and behaviour in the face of toxic provocations is one of the tools God will use to turn things around.

CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT
Before you put all the blame on someone else, truthfully psychoanalyse things to see if you have a hand in the toxicity in your relationship and adjust.

GOD'S GRACE IS AVAILABLE
All these things are only possible with God's grace. But it starts with your decision to fight the good fight faith by believing God for a change in your relationship. Experience has shown that when one partner in a toxic relationship prays for God's intervention, he usually begins the process of change in you and eventually works it out through you. Do your part and God will do his. I'll be praying for you.

P. S - If you can watch these two films FIREPROOF and NOT EASILY BROKEN, please do. You will learn a lot from it.

Read related posts
SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

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