5 UNWISE MOVES GUYS MAKE

Hello precious gem,
It's been awhile since I wrote anything on this blog. Reasons? Nothing in particular. I've just been on a "sabbatical leave" of some sort. Anyway, it's good to be back. In the short while I've been off, a lot of things happened but the most important thing is that ALL THINGS are working together for our good by the invisible hand of God.

So today, I'll be sharing a few not so wise moves guys make that are like shooting oneself in the leg. What are they? You're about to find out. Whether you're a lady or a guy, this post will do you a lot of good.
Here we go:

#1. Not declaring your intentions
Hanging around a lady without declaring your true intentions or defining the relationship is a recipe for ending up in "friend zone". This is okay if that's where you want to end up but if you intend to take the relationship beyond friendship level, you have to let her know. Acting caring and being there for her does not spell out your intentions. Most likely, she has other people doing the same thing! Define that relationship now! Tell her your intentions!! That doesn't guarantee that the answer will be yes, but at least, you'll know you gave it a try and it will make her know you're a man who knows what he wants. Shy guys, take note.

#2 - Not supporting her dreams 
Iron sharpens iron. A good relationship should sharpen both parties and make them better. Unfortunately, a good number of guys think that the Woman was created to dance to their whims and caprice; forgetting that she's also a human being with a purpose and dreams too. Not supporting / squashing your woman's dreams makes you an enemy of progress. If she finds someone who loves her and supports her dreams, she'll most likely start tilting to him, no matter the years you've spent together. Even if she stays with you, someday she'll get fed up with everything and that's when midlife crisis sets in (for more on midlife crisis, Google it).

#3 - Not empowering your wife financially 
It is a fact that men have their down moments. Every man goes through a time when their current financial affluence goes back to square zero. You can't escape it. But if you empower your wife financially, when that happens, it will cushion the blow because of the financial support that will come from her. Forget that rubbish about women becoming pompous when they make money. That was what kept your father from rising when he fell financially. The left hand is there to help the right hand for a reason.

#4 - Being in a relationship with too many girls at the same time
There's a proverb my mum was very fond of using - too many heaps  confuses the chicken. When you are in a relationship with more than one girl, you're bound to enter into confusion when you want to choose a life partner. This is because, every one is good in their own way but it's not everyone who is suitable as a helpmeet for you as a person and it's not everyone's weakness that you can manage. It's even worse when you're having sex with them because you'll be creating too many soul ties that will cloud your judgement eventually. Moreover, you're training yourself to become unfaithful maritally because having gotten used to having more than one woman in your life when single, you'll find it difficult to do otherwise even though you're married.

#5 - Fueling your woman's insecurities 
You have the power to feed the Woman in your life so she can become better or fuel her insecurities. Telling the Woman in your life that you like a tall woman when she's short, a hairy woman when she's hairless, a fair woman when she's dark is you fueling her insecurities. You're unknowingly insinuating that you prefer someone else and you are only managing her. The next time she sees you laughing with a tall, hairy or fair lady, she'll start feeling insecure. She may even start accusing you of liking the lady or cheating on her and by then, you'll be wondering why she's acting all hysterical. If she's not good enough for you, leave her alone for someone who will cherish her.

One Love
To my beloved brothers, I write not as an accuser or a judge but as a sister who's sharing with you helpful tips that will make you a better man. So if you find yourself caught up in this move, receive grace from God to become better.
To my sisters, this is not a license to witch-hunt a brother. Just share this post with the brothers in your life to bless them.Xoxo

P:S Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

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How to Spot THE MAN

INTRO
Today, we commence a new column called MAN TO WOMAN which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women. Today's topic is... 

How to Spot THE MAN
Written by Paul Aliyu

The definition of THE MAN in this recent age is a MALE who is above the “teen age”. The question today is, was that God’s perspective or idea of THE MAN when He said, “It is not good for THE MAN to be alone”? WHO and WHAT is the definition of THE MAN God was talking about in this context? If we can have a true understanding of this man, how sweet will our marriages and homes turn out to be! Listen to this: “The fact that he is a MALE does NOT make him THE MAN for you.” So what is the definition and perspective of THE MAN God meant (The Man for you)?

1. Men are not BORN; they are MADE

A man is not the man for you simply because he was born a male. He is the man for you because he has been able to grow himself into a man. Men are first of all born boys then they develop with time into men.

He does not qualify as the man for you because of his age, features or gender. He qualifies as the man for you as a result of what he constitutes mentally, character wise, and his ability to assume and handle the responsibilities of a man. Don’t be so much in a hurry to have the man or else you may end up having a matured boy who calls himself a man who is actually immature and half-baked. Make sure you see those attributes that a man (not a matured boy) should possess in Him. Failure to do so will end you in an immature or premature relationship which can bring about deformity in the relationship or marriage.

2. He will be Real (The Man was formed by God)

When God created man, He formed man. This means He gave him a shape and a structure that made him visible and describable. A man that God has ordained for you will always be real. He will be a man that you can easily define who he is in all ramifications. In other words, he will mean what he says and will say what he means. You will be able to regard him for his words and you will see and take him for WHO HE IS and not WHO HE CLAIMS TO BE.

The man that is meant for you will stand for what he says and take responsibilities for his actions. He will stand for truth, integrity, and honesty so as to live happily with you as the woman of his dreams. The man will not be two-sided or double-faced like the two-sides of a coin. He will be plain and real. His YES will be YES and his NO, NO!

3. He will be God-like (made in the image and likeness of God)

A friend asked me recently, “How do I know if the man is from God? I answered her by asking this question in return: “When you see a man’s child, you know he is the man’s child from the resemblance. Am I right?” she replied “YES!” When God wants to give you (His daughter) a man, He will give you a man that resembles Him. God is interested in giving you His best as His daughter. He will not give to you what will be below His standards. The best standard you can ever get is God’s standard.

The man God has in mind for you is a man that constitutes God’s attributes, nature and character. There is nothing you want in a man that is not in God. So God’s desire for you is for you to have a man that resembles Him; a man that possesses all that you have ever wanted in a man even without telling him (the man). A man made in God’s image and likeness.

NOTE: THE MANUFACTURER (in this case God) will always PRODUCE (give/answer) what will SATISFY the WANTS (taste/prayer points/desires) of the CONSUMER (his sons/daughters); even better that you can ever imagine.

4. He will LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY

God gave the man and the woman different responsibilities in marriage. Man was made to love the wife even unto the point of death. It’s so unfortunate that the WORLD gives a different definition to the LOVE the WORD of God talks about. Does he love you unconditionally, even unto the point of death? Does he get pissed off at your every offense and want to break up without thinking twice? Does he overlook and forgive your offenses? Does his love for you OUTWEIGH all your offenses? If he does not, then you need to have a re-think and possibly give him more time to GROW INTO A MAN before thinking of a relationship or marriage.

5. He must have discovered his God-given purpose

God decided to create the woman for a man so as to be a help-meet to him. Marrying a man who has not found his God-given purpose will amount to just becoming another woman by his side instead of a “help-meet”.

The primary intention of marriage is for two people (Man and Woman) to fulfill a particular assignment. When that assignment is taken off from marriage, marriage ceases to be marriage. Don’t just seek for any man; seek for a man with a purpose (a vision). Just as people perish for lack of vision, a marriage can perish too for lack of it. There is no point being with a man who cannot define why he needs you in his life. It is said that “Where there is no purpose, abuse is inevitable.” Refuse to be in his life just to bear children, cook for him, wash his clothes, for the pleasure of sex alone, etc. You were equipped beyond that! Don’t just try to be a man’s wife, woman, lab-rat or baby factory; rather, desire to be his help-meet. You have a role to play in his life, vision and assignment.

I always say that, the poorest man on earth is a man without a vision or purpose. A man with wealth but without purpose or vision will soon come to poverty. When a man has a vision and purpose, it might only take time to mature and maybe gather resources for execution of that vision but when all is set, the sky will be his spring board. Don’t just get attracted to his wealth, good looks, phonetics, etc but be glued to his vision and God-given assignment. That is the reason you are in his life. He should be RESPONSIBLE and WORKING (with a PURPOSE), busy accomplishing a purpose or birthing a vision that includes a special role for you as his wife the woman of his dreams.

6. God should be his utmost priority

When God created man, He made man out of dust. Man received life after God breathed into him. Man exists because of the breath God breathed into him.  So have this understanding that the good you can find in any man is because of the fear of God in that man. When you take God out of any man, he is bound to do any kind of evil without feeling any guilt for his actions. Take God away from any man and expect any kind of rubbish from him.

The man God plan for you as a woman is a man that sees God as the essence of his existence; a man with the fear of the Lord; a man that is willing to give everything up but not God. The more of God a man has, the more good you see in him. This makes your relationship with such a man peaceful and enjoyable. You are bound to enjoy marriage to a man whose heart is given to God, owned by God and has the fear of God. Run from a man that puts you first before God. Such a man can hurt you without thinking twice because the fear of God is not in him. God should be the most essential part of a man you desire. It is the God in him that makes him the great and loving husband you seek and desire.

To be continued…

Keep a date with us next week as he shares with us more attributes of THE MAN that will make it easier for you to spot the right man for you.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

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Hallmarks of a Noble Woman

You are what you hear and what you read; garbage in-garbage out.

The TEC convention came and went (it actually held from 6^th-8^th June 2014) and all we’ve got left are the words we heard and the lessons we learnt. I was privileged to attend and in keeping with the promise I made on Thursday, even though it’s a day late, I have the juicy excerpts here for you plus tons of pics from the 3-day event to feed your eyes with. Remember the theme of all blogposts this month is making you more than a female and more than a pretty face. Trust me, these excerpts will do you a lot of good. Fasten your seatbelt, grab a drink and a pen & paper as we walk through the hallmarks of a great woman.  

First Things First: What is TEC?

TEC stands for “the Esther Company”; it is an interdenominational gathering of women which seeks to raise women after proverbs 31 & Queen Esther’s (in the bible) characteristics and principles. It is an offshoot of POGGIM (Palace of Greatness Gospel International Ministries), whose head quarters is in Abuja. TEC is headed by Pastor (Mrs) Titi Emmabel, the wife of the president and founder of POGGIM, Rev Prince Emmabel. The convention was tagged “the noble woman”. Now…let’s dive in.

Pastor (Mrs) Titi Emmabel

Excerpts from the Convention…

Characteristics of Queen Esther

These are drawn from the characteristics Queen Esther as inferred from the bible and they include: the fear of God, strength, courage, success and high-productivity, loyalty, nobility, independence, intelligence, financial freedom, beauty, obedience and prudence. 

Characteristics of a Noble Woman

A noble woman is not just a woman or a wife, she is a strong woman. According to Pastor (Mrs) Titi Emmabel, to be noble means to possess strength of mind and body and the characteristics of a noble woman include:

• She is able to hear what people say behind your back and not back down but stand strong instead.

• She is not consumed by inferiority complex.

• She doesn’t allow situations intimidate her.

• She has what it takes to bring comfort to her man and to those around her.

• She minds her business and is not a “busy-body”.

• She is willing and capable of handling businesses.

• She is wise and economical.

• She is not too elegant to behave humbly.

• She brings great honour to her husband.

• She is talented, productive and useful; she knows how to work out ideas into reality.

Action Steps to Take This Season

•  Go to an environment that challenges you to be better, not an environment that pampers you. Juice only comes out of fruits when they are squeezed.

• Focus on your assignment; don’t give your attention to what doesn’t directly or indirectly support or favour your cause.

• Don’t hang around where you’re tolerated but where you’re celebrated.

• Where you can’t get advice from your parents, you’re your own father and mother. Advice yourself; talk to yourself.  

• Esther gave herself to preparation; give yourself to preparation. Before the crown, comes preparation.

• Develop the virtue of loyalty; it will preserve your marriage and any other commitment you may make.

• Forgive those who hurt you and look down on you when the tables eventually turn in your favour. Getting even is not the hallmark of a noble woman. Any woman would prefer to revenge but it takes a truly noble woman to forgive those who despised her when she eventually rises to the top.

• It doesn’t always take beauty or personal abilities; sometimes that’s not enough (as in the case of Esther in the bible. You need God’s grace and favour.

Well, that’s all on excerpts from the convention. Believe me, a whole lot more was said during the 3-day convention. But I only shared these with you. Now you’ve read them, don’t throw these under the table. Apply them to your life and let’s all become noble women; women that are “more than a female and more than a pretty face”.

Now…It’s time for more eye candy…pics! pics!! pics!!!

 

  

And yours truly got to act a lil bit (I'm the guy in suit and that's my drama wife lol). Had plenty fun at the convention.  

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