Excerpts of Word WYN Ladies Conference Pt 1

You are what you hear and what you read; garbage in-garbage out.

So I’m a huge fan of positive self-improvement and I love attending seminars and conferences; anything that makes me a better person and a better woman. On the 17^th of May 2014, Word WYN had ladies conference I was privileged to attend and speak in. I had promised to share excerpts from the day but hadn’t gotten around to it. I’m quite glad I get to post the excerpts today 

The conference had a morning and evening session. The excerpts I’m about to post come from the evening session and it was handled by the President of Word WYN (Word Warring Youth Newtwork, it's a youth ministry) himself, Pastor Jessy Danladi, whom we fondly call “Sir Jay”. He spoke on “the woman’s place in relationships and marriage”. Grab a pen and let’s dive into the juicy excerpts right away.  

Sir Jay Speaks…

A woman is a company, a helper, a home maker. These are the core roles of women in relationships and marriage. A lot of women dream about having a man they can’t handle. Before you consider getting married, ask yourself this question: “am I marriable?” Men and women have different viewpoints and react differently. Understanding these differences will help you understand the opposite sex and have a better relationship.

Men are logical and factual; they mostly respond to facts by reasoning them out logically. Women are emotional and intuitive; they respond spontaneously to situations. They analyse things based on their intuition and emotions per time.

Men and Women’s Needs

In relationship and marriage, men and women have different needs. If you don’t understand the needs of a man, you’re gonna have problems in your relationship/marriage. Every man has natural needs that you’re in his life as his wife to satisfy. 

	Men’s Needs	Women’s Needs
1	Sexual fulfillment (not sex but sexual fulfillment)	Affection
2	Admiration	Conversation
3	Need to feel always that their wives are attractive	Need total openness and honesty from her husband
4	Domestic security; being able to provide for his family. A man feels lesser when he can’t provide for his family.	Financial and emotional security; the knowing that they will be catered for financially and emotionally.
5	A submissive and respectful woman. Submission means empowering your husband to be the leader. It also means bringing your mission under his mission.	A loving, caring and thoughtful husband.

Important: Do not marry a man that disrespects you and does not value you. Do not seduce or manipulate a man into marrying you.

Communication Skills are Crucial

Communication is the key to a successful relationship and marriage. You have to learn basic communication skills. If marriage was to be a human being, then communication would be the blood. If marriage was to be a car, then communication would be the fuel. 

Communication has two parts: listening and speaking. Two people talking at the same time is confusion. Two people listening at the same time is silence. One person has to speak per time while the other listens. The essence of communication is to ensure that there is understanding. Until the other person has understood clearly what you just said, communication is not achieved.

Communication skills may be good, average or poor. If your parents have a history of bad communication skills, it is most likely that by association, you may have absorbed these. If that’s the case then you have to unlearn these and learn good communication skills.

Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Peer Pressure- Getting married because your “mates” are getting married.

Parental Pressure-Getting married because one’s parents and family members are saying you ought to be married.

Panic- Panic because it just dawned on you that you getting older and still not married.

Physical Involvement-Getting married because you have been physically/sexually involved with the person.

Last Bus Stop-Last bus stop refers to when you’re at your wits end with looking for a husband and feel like the man you just found is your final opportunity to get married.

Some other ministers at the event...

Hope you’ve learnt a lot from these excerpts. You can follow Word WYN on twitter @wordwyn1 and join their facebook group on WORD WYN

P:S-Hearing or reading alone is not enough, you gotta apply what you’ve learnt to your life. Take action. Xoxo

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More Than a Female; More Than a pretty face

All of us are born female but becoming a woman takes a process of time, exposure and experiences that lead us to maturity.

Yayyyyyy! Welcome to the month of my birth…the month that gets me sooo high and gets me feeling like a superstar *wink*. I’m proudly a June baby which means that by God’s grace I’ll be a year older this month. Special shout out to all June babies reading this post. This month, the central theme of all upcoming blogposts is “More than a female; more than a pretty face”. What does this mean? Blogposts this month will be geared at helping you become more than a female and more than just a pretty face. 

 It’s one thing to be a female and a whole different ball game to be a woman. To be a female requires that you be genetically female and probably have those things above and below that physically differentiate females from males. In fact, these days we have transvestites who switch their gender to become female. By the time they’re done with all the clinical procedures, everything about them in the physical would convince you they’re “female”. So you see, being female is tied to your physical outlook. Becoming a “woman”, however, connotes maturity not just physically, but in all dimensions (emotionally, financially, spiritually etc). Can you see the difference now?

What’s Your Selling Point?

In a competitive world like ours, your selling point is the leg on which you stand. And even though we’re all unique and no one is truly completely like another individual, it is your selling point that stands you out and get’s you noticed. Now, when I say selling point, I’m not talking of your physical assets. You know why, someone will always be taller, bustier, fairer, prettier, more sophisticated, even if you decide to enhance you looks via cosmetic procedures.

Don’t just be a pretty face; don’t just have a sexy body; don’t just be another female. No one buys a bottle of coke just because they love the shape of the bottle. They buy it because they love the taste of its content. CONTENT!!! If your physical outlook is like the empty coke bottle, then your character, ability and capabilities are like the content of the coke bottle. Let your selling point be the content within you. That’s what makes you more than a female and more than a pretty face. Don’t get me wrong, being a pretty face is good. But it isn’t enough.

Take Conscious Steps Become More than a Female

This month, take conscious steps to becoming a woman. Remember being a woman has nothing to do with your physical age, size or looks; that’s actually part of being female. Becoming a woman is all about maturity. Expose yourself to anything that makes you a better woman. Change the company you keep if you have to. Read books, attend seminars and programmes that make you better. Work out your dreams, vision and potential. Be beautiful, have some brains/be skillful in all you do so you don’t become a dumb blonde or a beautiful nonsense. Make that money, be resourceful and useful everywhere you go. Find out three things you need to get before you get a man here. You need it on your way to becoming more than a female and more than a pretty face. xoxo

P.S: Keep your eyes on this blog for more posts that will make you more than a female and more than a pretty face this month. Also watch out tomorrow for excerpts from two women’s conferences I attended recently that will surely do you good.