It's only in the realm of humans that you see people trying to force something to become another thing. Maybe it's because they've watched too many films showing the use of magic and how one can perform 'wonders', or maybe it isn't. But in reality, no matter how we try to force it, somethings can't be forced. No matter how much you try to force a mango to become an orange, the best you could ever get from any mango would be a mango juice and never orange juice. The same applies to dating relationships.
No matter how hard you try to compel, cajole, manipulate, dictate, suppress or change that person to become your dream man or woman, you're only setting yourself up for disaster eventually. Instead of catching a sanguine and trying to turn him or her into a melancholy, why not just go for a melancholy instead? Instead of buying a bottle of Coke and trying to turn it to Fanta, why not just go for fanta instead??? Relationships are supposed to make people better, not change them into what they are not. If you're trying to change your man or woman to what they're not, you're practicing witchcraft (manipulating things you have no authority over to suit your own purpose) and you're fast becoming an enemy of God who intentionally made them that way for his glory.
Here are a few signs you're forcing it in your relationship.
1. The things you dislike and complain about him or her are more than the things you're cool with.
2. The things that make him happy are the things you detest.
3. You're always nagging, complaining, hoping and praying that he/she will change and the change is not coming.
4. You feel he / she always embarrasses you with certain actions that he / she considers normal.
5. You quarrel more than you relate except when you're in bed.
If this is your reality, you guys are mismatched and you're definitely forcing a square peg in a round hole.
SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Singles: See if you can accept and accommodate his / her mannerisms for a life time. If you can't, that's a clear sign you should consider splitting up. If you want to stretch your faith, pray about those things that give you concern in he / she and give it 6 months to 1 year to see if there's improvement. If at the end of this, there's no change, it's time to end it. The longer time you waste in a wrong relationship with an unsuitable partner, the more you miss out on finding the right partner.
Married folks: If you get married and discover you’re practically forcing it, you're already bound by the vows you made so there is no easy way out. However, God is able to help you out. Pray for your mate that God will open his / her eyes to the need to change. Ask for grace to love them and accept them the way they are, just like God accepts you the way you are. One of two things will happen. It's either God will change them eventually or he will strengthen you to the point that all those sour points don't bother you or steal your joy anymore. Either way, it's a win-win situation when you take it to God. But, you'll need lots of patience to successfully go through it all. Xoxo.
P:S Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to
advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
Evidence Grace is
the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's
passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and
marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on
fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming
ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.
ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.
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