Shout out to all those who just became single recently.
Being in a relationship has its good and fun side. It also has its benefits: someone to laugh with, a shoulder to cry one, someone who loves and cares for you, the hangouts, the fun moments, the precious memories and all. What’s more, the Bible even says “two are better than one…” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Truth be told, most of us would naturally pick being in a relationship than being single.
So you’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a while (months or maybe even years) and things were going smoothly. But somehow, something happened and you’re back to square one: you’re now single. Whether or not the reason for the end of the relationship was caused by you, becoming single after being in a relationship for a while feels like losing the use of your legs due to an accident and having to re-learn how to walk again. No more calls/texts, no more hangouts, no more affection from the person etc. If you’re not careful, you could hook up with anyone who comes your way just to numb the emptiness you feel due to your present single status. But is this the solution?
Before we talk about the solution, let’s look at a few things you may be experiencing now that you’re single:
Mood Swings: Yea, yea! The more you think about the relationship, the good and bad times you had, the reasons for the break up or death of the relationship, your emotions enter a roller coaster and you start having mood swings. You find yourself happy at one moment and sad the next moment.
Anger and Bitterness: When you began that relationship, you had high hopes that it would last and now it’s broken. You may find yourself feeling angry and bitter over wasted time especially if you were not the cause of the break-up.
Fear: “Once beaten, twice shy” goes a popular English saying. Depending on the circumstances that led to your present single state, you may find yourself feeling afraid of having to go through the dating game and find a new person.
Tired of Relationships: Depending on the things you went through in the last relationship, you may find yourself completely tired and wanting nothing to do with having a relationship.
What’s the First Step?
Now that you’re single again, what’s the first step? ALLOW YOURSELF TO HEAL. Do not be in a haste to date anyone new. Have a good cry. Cry out your pain till you feel better. Research shows that crying does a lot of good by helping you release pent up emotions. Do a post-mortem on the relationship. Think through and see where and how things deteriorated before you eventually broke up. Find out where you got it wrong so when you eventually have another relationship, you may get it right.
If you ask me, I’ll suggest you stay six months to one year before you plunge into another relationship. Why? So your heart can heal well enough. Otherwise, you’ll just carry baggage from the past and end up destroying the new relationship.
Hold on Girl! It Gets Easier as Each Day Passes
I know it doesn’t look like that now, but the truth is, time does heal wounds…but only when you take time to bind and treat those wounds. All the hurt and anger you feel towards the male folk will fade away with time. You’ll learn to love again, only if you give yourself time to heal. Take one day at a time. You’ll get stronger as the day passes.
Are you single because he died? May God comfort you. Asking God why he allowed him die will only make you more miserable than you should be. Take rest in Romans 8:28 “…all things (even things that hurt us and things we never expected) work together for good to them that love God…” Even though it doesn’t look like it now, all things are working together for your good.
P.S: Do you know anyone who just became single again? Share this post with them. They’ll be glad you did. xoxo
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