Common Misconceptions about Husbands

Hello dear,

The misconceptions I’m about to share with you today are dangerous mindsets that have come to be accepted in some quarters. If you do not delete them from your mind and renew your mind, they will destroy your marriage when you get married eventually.  If you’re already married, you need to use this post as an x-ray to see if these little foxes are part of your mindset so that you can destroy them before they destroy your beautiful marriage. But before I move on, I need you to read this with an open heart so it can fulfill its purpose in your life. As you read, may the scales of tradition, culture and old wives’ fables concerning husbands and marriage be removed from your heart and mind in Jesus name.

#1 – He is an ATM

Yes, it is the husband’s major role to provide for his family but that does not make him an ATM or a money tree you can pluck from at will. Your husband is not ATM that is available to dispense money to you at your beck and call. Even if he were, just like an ATM runs out of cash sometimes and cannot dispense cash, he may sometimes be unable to give you the things you want and desire. Your husband is HUMAN, he is not Jehovah Jireh who makes a way where there seems to be none. He can only perform according to what he has or is able to get per time. Check it out now – even your biological parents were not ATMs; there were times when they couldn’t give you what you wanted for one reason or the other. Instead of going looking to your husband as the sole provider of all your needs, look unto God as your provider and see your husband as one of God’s major channels to supply your needs. When you have this as a perspective, if your husband can’t meet your needs, God will find a way to meet your needs and you will be able to maintain a good attitude while you wait for God’s provision. It will also prevent you from becoming a nag (the thing all men hate) and move you to pray for God’s provision for your husband instead.

#2 – He is a superman

This mindset entails expecting that your husband can’t be affected by the storms and temptations of life. What this does is that it puts you at ease and prevents you from backing you husband up with words of appreciation, affection, encouragement and prayer. It also makes you insensitive to his struggles and your role as his God-given helper. Even if he is a man of God, he is still a man who may struggle with some things sometimes and will need your help, whether he acts like it or not. Delete from your head completely the fact that you’re marrying or married to a superman. Even superman was not always dressed as superman – sometimes he appears as plain old Clark Kent who needs the love of his woman. You are human and will be married to another human. There is no perfect man.

#3 – He shouldn’t make mistakes

This is related to the previous one. I wish I could promise you that your husband would NEVER make mistakes. But baby girl, as spirit filled as he is, as smart and wise as he is, he will make mistakes sometimes, just as you will. Nobody deliberately plans to make mistakes; mistakes are what they are – MISTAKES. In your mind, you may have written a list of things he should do such as: if he loves me, he wouldn’t _________, he should know ________, he should never speak to me in an angry tone etc. Having unrealistic expectations is a recipe for disaster in marriage. If you have such in your head, delete them. They will do you no good. Not sure if the expectations you have are unrealistic? Email me with graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll help you sift through them and show you which ones are unrealistic.

#4 – He is just like me

Hmmmm!!! This is a very deadly misconception. Your husband may have similar hobbies, interests or goals as you, he may even share your beliefs, but he is not like you. Research and experience has proved that men reason differently and see things from a different perspective, compared to women. They have different needs, priorities and expectations even in marriage. That is on a general level. When it comes to individuality, each man is unique and different. It’s just like comparing Japanese cars with a Mercedes Benz: you may not be able to use the spare parts of Japanese cars on a Mercedes Benz without causing damage. In other words, you can’t relate with your husband as you do with your girlfriends. You must not only understand the peculiar differences between men and women, you must also understand the peculiar differences that differentiate your man from other men. For more details, read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; it will help you tremendously.  

Renew your mind

You can't afford to enter into marriage with misconceptions as your instructors or your cultural history as your coach. Renew your mind. Fill it with the truth from God's word and divinely inspired books on marriage so you can a have a correct view about marriage. It's not enough to find the right man. Prayerfully locate every misconception in your mind about marriage, husbands and your role as a wife, uproot them and replace them with the truth. Romans 12:2 says "do not be conformed to the ways of the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...". An unrenewed mind can destroy a heaven ordained relationship or marriage. A word, they say, is enough for the wise. xoxo 

Can you think of any other misconceptions about husbands? Guys in the house, we need your views ooo. 

P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here? Would you like to advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Have you heard???

The blog now has an online radio show on riecho.net. You can also listen to the show on www.hulkshare.com/sister2sisternigeria

Check out both sites to listen to the show for yourself. You can also download our online radio show file when you listen on hulkshare.com

Feel free to send in your comments on our online radio show by email on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Or sister2sisternigeria@gmail.com

View Other Recent Posts
Just right

Before you risk it

Risk it

What he means when he says I love you 

Becoming the Woman of his Dreams Pt 2

Becoming the Woman of his Dreams

Prayer is not witchcraft 

 

Things that make her lose respect for you

How to spot the man pt 2 

You are perfect the way you are 

How to spot the man 

How to handle toxic permanent relationships pt 2 

How to handle toxic permanent relationships pt 1

Signs of a toxic relationship

Effects of a toxic relationship

 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 

Online Radio Portal

3 Misconceptions People Have About Starting a Business

The shortest way to successfully build anything is to start and continue till you finish it.

 Written By: Tammy Bankins (Guest Blogger)

This post began as a question someone asked which went thus: “are there any shortcuts in business?” The question got me laughing a little and of course, my answer was “no, there aren’t any shortcuts in business”. This question stems from a lot of misconceptions people have about starting a business; a by-product of the get-rich-quick / be-my-own-boss syndrome that often hits a lot of us. I have seen a countless number of people jump into business, abandoning their current jobs, hoping for better times only to get disappointed along the line. Some of them even ended up losing all their life savings in the process. Usually, the million dollar question that pops up in their minds at that point is: “what happened?” Most times, when a lot of people get in the world of business, they have their mind centered on how much profit they would make and how soon these profits would start rolling in; totally oblivious of the fact that every business has its risks, low moments and high points. 

You see, business isn’t like preparing noddles! Neither is it like art where a mistake can become an extension of the artist’s creativity and probably even hit the jackpot! Business is a process!  It’s like building a house and it requires that you commit to it for the long haul otherwise, all you’ll be left with is a trail of abandoned projects (businesses). Sincerely speaking, the whole process of building a business can be quite tasking and boring, especially at the initial stage. Here are 3 out of the many misconceptions people usually have about starting a business.

#1-It’s My Passion So It’s Going To Be Easy

It’s okay to get into a business simply because you have passion for it. But, if you think the process of getting that business established is going to be an easy one simply because it’s your passion, then you’ll be in for a shocking surprise. I hear people say “this is something I have passion for so it’s not gonna take me time to make it in this business." But the truth is that in business, your passion is the weakest guarantee of a quick rise. Why? Because passion cannot withstand the heat of business! Passion cannot confront or withstand the boredom/down moments that accompany business (a basic component of all businesses). Passion gives you momentary excitement which is good because it enables you kick-start the business. However, it is commitment, tenacity and diligence that get you through in the long run. The same thing also applies to talent; neither passion nor talent alone is sufficient to make you last in business. Tiger Woods may have been a born golfer, yet, he worked harder than average golfers to rise to his current position. Even if the business idea burning in you is something inborn, to become a high flyer, you must pay the price to make it work just like a person who wasn’t born with such a gift.

#2-It’s All About the Daily or Monthly Cash Flow

The thought of having something (a business) that generates extra income is quite an exhilarating one; a propelling force for most people’s attempt at business. Talk about having multiple streams of income…I mean, who doesn’t need the extra cash every now and then? We all do!  But before you get so excited because you heard your friend boast about how he makes N30,000 every day from starting with just a N10,000 capital, the question you should be asking them is how long it took them to get to that point and the things they had to endure or go through. Mind you, most people boast about gross earnings not their net earnings after salary deductions, tax, maintenance costs and even tithe! How much a business generates daily or monthly shouldn’t be your strongest motivation for plunging into it. This mindset of what you stand to gain opens the door and makes you vulnerable to fraudsters who are out to get you and your money with sweet promises of a quick return on your capital (profit). If all you want is to make money fast, there are two places I guarantee this way of thinking will lead you to: the police cell across the street and a hospital bed at the clinic closest to you.

#3-Huge Capital = Large Scale Profits

One popular misconception people have about business is that starting a business on a large scale with a huge capital guarantees huge profit margins instantly. With this in mind, they raise a large amount of money and start big only to end big and in pieces! The fact that you have all the capital it takes to start is a good thing, but that is no guarantee for quick returns. As you learn to master the ropes of your new business, you’ll only be making the expected errors on a larger scale which equals larger losses. You don’t need to borrow huge sums of money borrow or empty your life savings to start a business (especially if it’s a business you’re not so familiar with or you’re new in business) just because you want to hit it big instantly. Start with what you have and make mistakes on a small scale while you learn from them and your business eventually grows stronger, making more profit with time.

A Few More Words

• Make out time to nurture whatever you’ve invested your money into.

• Don’t be in a haste to “hammer” or make it big instantly.

• Follow the process, stick with the boredom and learn to become better at the business.

All through my business career, I have learnt the hard way that not all businesses make you profit from the first shot. Some businesses you venture into will build your creativity, others will build your persistence and aggression, then suddenly, the money begins to flow in and you become what people erroneously call an "overnight success". You are a success story waiting to happen. Just hang in there; learn all you can and don’t look for any shortcuts to success/making it big because there are none.

Tammy Bankins is a young Nigerian business man who has a passion for business and helping those who want to start their own business with useful tips garnered from his experience in the world of business.

P.S- You can now subscribe to follow this blog via email to get new posts on the blog in your inbox. If you’re reading this from a mobile device, click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version.

Got any questions on business for our guest blogger? E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.