Almost
every lady has experienced some form of sexual harassment. Ranging from mild to
high level sexual harassment, ladies of all ages have experienced this in
informal circles and also at work. Making sexual advances at a woman is not a
crime; however, when such advances persist despite rejecting them and giving
stern warnings that it should stop, it becomes sexual harassment.
Merriam-webster.com
defines sexual harassment as uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behaviour of a sexual
nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate (as an employee
or student). To read more about sexual harassment, click here.
If
you’re currently facing sexual harassment at work, this post is for you. I trust
that will find it more than helpful. Happy reading!!!
Check Yourself
I
am not here to accuse you of being the cause of what you’re facing. I’m well
aware that there are men who will come after you, even if you’re always dressed
in a boubou. But the truth is, there are some clothes that are too sexy for the
workplace. Some of these clothes may not even expose your vital body parts but
are so fitted that they still produce the same effect of turning your
colleagues on. So before we witch hunt the guys, let’s check ourselves. I know
you love to look fly as I do and sometimes we say to ourselves “can’t they just not look???” but sis,
these guys are not blind, plus you’re fearfully, wonderfully and sexily made so
you can’t blame them. If you’re always facing sexual harassment everywhere you
work, then it’s most likely that you need to look into your dressing. There are
smart dresses that make you look beautiful without inviting harassment. Get them
and use them.
Just Say No
There
is no need to make a fuss about the sexual advances your colleague or boss are
making. There is no need to insult them either or turn it to a public
announcement in your office by telling everyone who cares to listen. Just say
NO. Let the person know that you’re not interested, not now and not in the
future. The tone and manner in which you say this is important, so as not to
sound arrogant, disrespectful or like you’re giving him an indirect yes. If it’s
coming from your boss, be respectful as you say that. Let him know that with
all due respect, you’re not interested. Simple!
Avoid Precarious
Situations
As
much as you possible, avoid situations of proximity where you’re alone with
your harasser. This will diminish the chances he has to harass you the more or
even try to take it further by touching you or trying to force himself on you. Don’t
set yourself up. If it’s coming from your boss and he’s always inviting you to
his office alone at odd hours, don’t show up. With time, he will get the
message. It’s better to be scolded for not showing up than to fall prey (this
is especially important if you’re bodily smaller than the man so that it doesn’t
move from sexual harassment to rape).
Be Firm
Don’t
beg; don’t remind him that he is married (in case he is) cuz he already knows
that. Just stick to your answer and with a no-smiling face, politely let him
know your stand and ask him to respect your decision.
Do Something
If
after all these, the harassment continues, then it’s time to do something about
it. Here are a few things you can do:
- Resign: If he’s making your stay at work a living hell and threatening to set you up or do something drastic if you don’t give in, resign. God is able to take you to a better place. You will get another job.
- Write an anonymous letter to his wife: Don’t go to her directly. Just get someone to write an anonymous letter telling her to warn her husband to stop harassing ladies in his office or better still, get someone to call her phone and give her this message. Believe me, this would work like magic. He may suspect that you’re behind it, but since he has no proof, he can’t pin it on you. He will accuse you of trying to spoil his marriage but the harassment will end there. Most importantly, do not threaten to tell his wife before you make this move - you will only be shooting yourself in the leg; just go ahead and do it.
- Activate the Spiritual: Proverbs 21:1 says the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turns it wherever he wills. Your boss is not above God; God is able to touch his heart and take his mind off harassing you or better still, give you the wisdom to navigate the situation. Talk to God in prayer and ask him to remove every sexual lust in the man’s heart for you and make him see you as his sister. I highly recommend this because, by experience, I know that God is able to do this.
Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to
advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
Evidence Grace is
the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's
passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and
marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on
fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming
ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.
ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.
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