Saturday, July 11, 2015

8 Reasons Why You’re Losing Friends Fast

Hey there, I trust you’re having a beautiful week. I’m having a favour-filled week, all thanks to God’s favour. 

There is no smoke without fire; every occurrence you see on the surface is triggered by something. Today, I’ll like to talk about things that make it difficult for a person to retain friends. It’s easy to put the blame on every other person and claim that they’re juts haters. But, a little soul searching may reveal that you have a hand in it. Read this with an open and sincere heart and you’ll get the best out of it.

1 - You can’t keep a secret
Yep! This is one of the major reasons why a person loses friends. Friendship requires you to be trustworthy and to be a friend one can easily confide in. Whether or not your friend tells you not to disclose his/her words to others, discretion should let you know that sensitive matters about your friend should remain a secret. It should not be disclosed or used as example when teaching or preaching. So, when you have a habit of making your friends personal matters public news/announcement in the name of “gisting” or you have a habit of exposing your friend’s secret when you’re having a misunderstanding, you earn yourself the reputation of CNN and backbiter. With time, word soon spreads around that you’re not trustworthy and even though you keep making new friends, you’ll keep losing them. Instead of looking for new friends, work on this aspect of yourself first. 

2 - You’re too judgemental and critical
It’s good to speak the truth in love. But when you’re excessively critical and fond of dishing out sarcastic remarks to your friends in public or private, you make yourself a thorn in their flesh and you know, nobody loves to have a romance with thorns. Friends seek comfort in each other; the world out there is already filled with harshness, your friends do not need another dose of harshness from you. You’re not a judge; you’re a friend – there is a difference between both. Most of it lies in your manner of approach. Friendship is not just about being honest, it’s about being tactful and speaking the truth in love. 

3 - You use people
People are not fools; they may act like fools, but eventually the reality hits them someday and they get the real picture. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are. That is why things are meant to be used and people are meant to be cherished and appreciated. So, if you’re fond of reaching out to the people in your life only because of what you can gain from them and you’re never available for them either, you’re actually using people. If you only act nice and contact people when you want to get something from them, you’re actually a user of men. If you make using people your comfort zone, you will eventually lose a lot of quality people from your life. 

4 - You’re too clingy
When you can’t stay on your own and must be in the company of people, you’re clingy. And when you’re too clingy, you’re like a crab that clings to everyone it comes in contact with to the extent of causing discomfort. Being clingy may be tolerable from children but as we grow older, it is expected that you should have a life of your own and be able to give your friends the breathing space to live their own lives too. As much as you want them to hang out with you, you need to understand that they cannot be at your beck and call all the time, even though they love you. It is immaturity to expect them to be available for you always. You must learn how to accept people and take their availability to you as their tight schedule permits.
5 - You’re a liability
Do I need to explain this??? I think it’s self-explanatory. In simple words, no one wants a parasite for a friend – someone who drains them dry and cannot be useful to them in anyway. Your friends are not ATMs you can keep withdrawing from daily. You have to make yourself a blessing and an asset too. 

6 - You’re envious and competitive
Friends are supposed to be supportive of each other, not envious and competitive. You mustn’t have everything your friend has. Or are you twins??? The most dangerous friend anyone can have is someone who is envious and competitive; someone one who wants to have what they have at any cost. Both character traits open the door to negative influence and can turn a friend into a foe eventually. It’s okay to learn from or be inspired by your friend’s achievements. But when you exhibit envy and compare yourself with / compete with your friend, you are a recipe for disaster waiting to happen and any wise + experienced person will immediately start avoiding you.

7 - You’re full of complaints and negativity
Ha!!! There is nothing that saps the life out of you like having negative people and complainers in your life. When you’re trying to build up your faith and maintain a positive attitude, like a pin prick on a balloon, they puncture your faith. They empty their negative energy on you via complaints and put too much excess baggage on your life. Even the Lord God could not put up with the continuous complaints, murmurings and the negative attitude of the Israelites in the wilderness. These two patterns of behavior will not only affect your friendships and relationships, they will also cut you off from the goodness of God because. See (as surely as I heard you say, so will I do unto you) for more details. 

8 - You’re no longer compatible
One of my old friends used to say “twenty friends can’t play together for twenty years”. What that means is that friendships don’t always last forever, even if you guys make a vow that you will stay friends forever. Though you may not quarrel, you may eventually start drifting apart due to incompatibility (both of you now have a different outlook on life as well as different goals), tight schedules, increasing responsibilities or distance. If this happens, don’t take it too personally – it’s not the end of the world. Just open your heart to the new people around you and build new friendships.

So What Next???
See what areas of your life you need to amend so that you’ll stop losing quality friends, acquaintances and destiny helpers. Have a great day.

P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here? Would you like to advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
 
Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

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