Today’s blogpost is dedicated to the guys as an eye opener...
It has become a widely accepted fact that men desire to be respected and cannot tolerate continued disrespect, especially from the woman in their life. A lot of times, relationships start out sweet and exhilarating but eventually turn out sour with time for different reasons. One of these reasons is disrespect. I’m not here to justify sudden disrespect in a relationship but to show you the seemingly little things that trigger disrespect in relationships, especially when it’s coming from the woman to the man. You can call them the little triggers that lead to disrespect in a relationship/marriage. For every action, they say, there is a corresponding reaction. Instead of accusing the woman in your life for the sudden attitude of disrespect, you may need to take an x-ray look at yourself to see if you’re triggering disrespect from your woman via your actions.
#1 – You’re Lazy
By “lazy” here, I mean you lack a drive to do what is necessary to advance and improve your social and financial status. And it has nothing to do with being jobless or not having enough money. A woman may be willing to start a relationship with you when you’re jobless or earning peanuts in the hopes that you’ll keep going after better opportunities and someday soon, the story will change for the better. She will even go to the extent of supporting you financially. However, her respect for you will dwindle if you have traded job-hunting and advancement in your career/purpose for sleeping all day and living of her money/stagnation. It’s verrrrryyy difficult for a woman to respect and stay with a lazy man, except if she’s a cougar, of course.
#2 – You’re Inconsiderate
One of the things women love is the ability to be considerate. To be considerate means
- to be careful not to inconvenience others;
- to be thoughtful;
- to think about the rights, needs, and feelings of others;
- to respect other people’s feelings, circumstances etc.
When you’re inconsiderate, you’re the opposite of all these. People who are inconsiderate are brash, tactless, and insensitive in their dealings, so they end up leaving a trail of offences. No matter how much she loves you, if you make being inconsiderate a lifestyle, you will no longer get the best from the woman in your life and by the law of seed time and harvest, you will eventually start reaping disrespect and harshness from your once caring woman.
#3 – You’re Fond of Passing on Your Responsibilities to her
The woman who loves you will be more than willing to assist you and fill in for you with regards to handling your responsibility when the need arises. However, if you make a habit of passing on your responsibilities to her because you’re simply stingy or your continued laziness has made you permanently incapable of handling them, you will have a resentful woman on your hands. Also, when you insist on sharing ALL financial responsibilities with the woman in your life 50-50, you’re gradually eroding her respect for you. Nothing makes you blossom in your woman’s eyes like when you handle your responsibilities like man that you are.
#4 – You Have No Drive to Improve
A woman, by divine design, is designed to beautify, enhance, and transform everything she comes in contact with, and that includes you. Just as she is able to transform a plain house into a magnificent home, raw food stuff into a delicious meal, and sperm cells into a baby, God has placed her in your life to influence, encourage and spur you into become the best you could ever be. If you allow her, she will push you to greater heights in life and destiny. However, nothing is as frustrating to a woman as a man who doesn’t want to improve or rise up the ladder of success. And unfortunately, it erodes her respect for you and that’s when you begin to hear things like “your mates are doing this and that but you refuse to improve”.
#5 – Your Lack of Self-Control
Hmmmmmm!!! Do I need to explain this one? Okay. I will. Most women acknowledge that it is not easy for men to stay faithful these days; however, they also know it is not impossible, especially with God’s grace. Cheating on her once, is a mistake. Cheating on her twice may still be considered as a mistake. But cheating on her thrice makes it a habit, an addiction or a character flaw. Even with a thousand apologies, bribery gifts or i-love-yous, the respect and trust escapes. All she sees you as is a randy he-goat who will probably give her an STD or HIV soon. It’s hard for women to respect a man without self-control, even though they may tolerate him or stay with him because of the kids or the money.
To the men
What you sow, you shall reap. If you keep sowing these actions, you will continually reap disrespect from the woman in your life via words, actions, or outbursts. Even if she is the most patient woman on the earth, she will get to a breaking point eventually and you will not like the outcome. Tie up these loose ends and you won’t be leading her into the temptation to disrespect you.
To the single women
If you’re dating a man whom you’re having difficulties respecting due to these factors, find a suitable time and talk to him about it. Pray for him too, because the ability to change comes from God. Then give him the allowance of time to change/improve. However, if you’ve done both and he still isn’t changing, and you can’t see yourself marrying him like that, you may consider ending the relationship.
To the woman married to a man who she can no longer respect
You’re in for the long haul so there is no going back. I know it’s currently hard to respect him now, considering all that has happened. But there is grace (ability) available in God to honour and respect that man you married, even though he’s not worthy. That same grace is able to transform him into the man you will be proud of. Take your frustration to God in prayer. Tell him how hard it is to respect your husband and ask him for grace to do what is right (respect your husband). Pray that God will help your husband overcome his weaknesses.
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Got questions, observations or comments, email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
View Other Recent Posts
HOW TO SPOT THE MAN PT 2
YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE
HOW TO SPOT THE MAN
HOW TO HANDLE TOXIC PERMANENT RELATIONSHIPS Pt 2
HOW TO HANDLE TOXIC PERMANENT RELATIONSHIPS Pt 1
It has become a widely accepted fact that men desire to be respected and cannot tolerate continued disrespect, especially from the woman in their life. A lot of times, relationships start out sweet and exhilarating but eventually turn out sour with time for different reasons. One of these reasons is disrespect. I’m not here to justify sudden disrespect in a relationship but to show you the seemingly little things that trigger disrespect in relationships, especially when it’s coming from the woman to the man. You can call them the little triggers that lead to disrespect in a relationship/marriage. For every action, they say, there is a corresponding reaction. Instead of accusing the woman in your life for the sudden attitude of disrespect, you may need to take an x-ray look at yourself to see if you’re triggering disrespect from your woman via your actions.
#1 – You’re Lazy
By “lazy” here, I mean you lack a drive to do what is necessary to advance and improve your social and financial status. And it has nothing to do with being jobless or not having enough money. A woman may be willing to start a relationship with you when you’re jobless or earning peanuts in the hopes that you’ll keep going after better opportunities and someday soon, the story will change for the better. She will even go to the extent of supporting you financially. However, her respect for you will dwindle if you have traded job-hunting and advancement in your career/purpose for sleeping all day and living of her money/stagnation. It’s verrrrryyy difficult for a woman to respect and stay with a lazy man, except if she’s a cougar, of course.
#2 – You’re Inconsiderate
One of the things women love is the ability to be considerate. To be considerate means
- to be careful not to inconvenience others;
- to be thoughtful;
- to think about the rights, needs, and feelings of others;
- to respect other people’s feelings, circumstances etc.
When you’re inconsiderate, you’re the opposite of all these. People who are inconsiderate are brash, tactless, and insensitive in their dealings, so they end up leaving a trail of offences. No matter how much she loves you, if you make being inconsiderate a lifestyle, you will no longer get the best from the woman in your life and by the law of seed time and harvest, you will eventually start reaping disrespect and harshness from your once caring woman.
#3 – You’re Fond of Passing on Your Responsibilities to her
The woman who loves you will be more than willing to assist you and fill in for you with regards to handling your responsibility when the need arises. However, if you make a habit of passing on your responsibilities to her because you’re simply stingy or your continued laziness has made you permanently incapable of handling them, you will have a resentful woman on your hands. Also, when you insist on sharing ALL financial responsibilities with the woman in your life 50-50, you’re gradually eroding her respect for you. Nothing makes you blossom in your woman’s eyes like when you handle your responsibilities like man that you are.
#4 – You Have No Drive to Improve
A woman, by divine design, is designed to beautify, enhance, and transform everything she comes in contact with, and that includes you. Just as she is able to transform a plain house into a magnificent home, raw food stuff into a delicious meal, and sperm cells into a baby, God has placed her in your life to influence, encourage and spur you into become the best you could ever be. If you allow her, she will push you to greater heights in life and destiny. However, nothing is as frustrating to a woman as a man who doesn’t want to improve or rise up the ladder of success. And unfortunately, it erodes her respect for you and that’s when you begin to hear things like “your mates are doing this and that but you refuse to improve”.
#5 – Your Lack of Self-Control
Hmmmmmm!!! Do I need to explain this one? Okay. I will. Most women acknowledge that it is not easy for men to stay faithful these days; however, they also know it is not impossible, especially with God’s grace. Cheating on her once, is a mistake. Cheating on her twice may still be considered as a mistake. But cheating on her thrice makes it a habit, an addiction or a character flaw. Even with a thousand apologies, bribery gifts or i-love-yous, the respect and trust escapes. All she sees you as is a randy he-goat who will probably give her an STD or HIV soon. It’s hard for women to respect a man without self-control, even though they may tolerate him or stay with him because of the kids or the money.
To the men
What you sow, you shall reap. If you keep sowing these actions, you will continually reap disrespect from the woman in your life via words, actions, or outbursts. Even if she is the most patient woman on the earth, she will get to a breaking point eventually and you will not like the outcome. Tie up these loose ends and you won’t be leading her into the temptation to disrespect you.
To the single women
If you’re dating a man whom you’re having difficulties respecting due to these factors, find a suitable time and talk to him about it. Pray for him too, because the ability to change comes from God. Then give him the allowance of time to change/improve. However, if you’ve done both and he still isn’t changing, and you can’t see yourself marrying him like that, you may consider ending the relationship.
To the woman married to a man who she can no longer respect
You’re in for the long haul so there is no going back. I know it’s currently hard to respect him now, considering all that has happened. But there is grace (ability) available in God to honour and respect that man you married, even though he’s not worthy. That same grace is able to transform him into the man you will be proud of. Take your frustration to God in prayer. Tell him how hard it is to respect your husband and ask him for grace to do what is right (respect your husband). Pray that God will help your husband overcome his weaknesses.
Evidence Grace is
the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's
passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and
marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on
fulfilling God's purpose for her life and becoming ALL God has
fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the
earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.
Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.
Got questions, observations or comments, email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com
View Other Recent Posts
HOW TO SPOT THE MAN PT 2
YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE
HOW TO SPOT THE MAN
HOW TO HANDLE TOXIC PERMANENT RELATIONSHIPS Pt 2
HOW TO HANDLE TOXIC PERMANENT RELATIONSHIPS Pt 1
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