EFFECTS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

Yesterday, I talked about how to know a toxic relationship via its signs. Today, I'll be talking about the effects a toxic relationship has on you when you stay in it. Happy reading.

#1 - IT STEALS YOUR CONFIDENCE
The first thing a toxic relationship strikes at is your confidence. Through physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse, it erodes your confidence over time making you feel inadequate in one way or the other. Love is kind. Anyone who treats you nastily in the name of love does not truly love you. They may claim they do, but the truth is that people with dysfunctional behaviour cannot love you properly. Bishop Noel Jones once said that a lover cannot love you beyond his capacity to love. A violent man may love you, but will beat you to a pulp because that is his lifestyle. A womaniser will love you and cheat on you because womanising is his culture. Worse still, both of them will blame you for being the cause of their actions. He/she who falls in love with a scorpion or cobra should not complain when it stings/bites him/her.

#2 - IT STEALS YOUR ABILITY TO TRUST AND LOVE
Staying in a toxic relationship eventually destroys your ability to love and to trust. It brings you to the point where you can't trust anyone anymore and you give up on love to settle for flings, single parenthood or adopting a child. When you catch your self saying men/women are all the same, cannot be trusted or are wicked, it is because you've been in a toxic relationship directly or you've watched someone close to you suffer from a toxic relationship. And that's where the devil would like to keep you so you'll miss out on the beautiful future/marriage God has in store for you.

#3 - IT CORRUPTS YOUR MINDSET ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX
It's amazing how one or two toxic relationships can make you label the opposite sex negatively. Even though you've not dated or met all the men on the earth, a toxic relationship will make you say things like all men are liars and cheats etc. That is because a toxic relationship poisons your perspective about the opposite sex with time; even though in reality, all men are not the same.

#4 - IT CORRUPTS YOUR VIEW ABOUT MARRIAGE
The reason many people today are scared of marriage is toxic relationships. They've either been in one or watched a loved one suffer from one. So you hear people say things like 'marriage is a necessary evil', 'marriage is bondage/prison' and 'I'd rather remain single'. When you see a single person who intentionally chooses to remain single, it's usually because they've been badly poisoned/wounded by a toxic relationship.

#5 - IT STEALS YOUR ABILITY TO BE TENDER AND LEAVES YOU WITH HARSHNESS
Continually enduring the toxic behaviour in a toxic relationship completely erodes your ability to be tender and kind and replaces it with harshness in words and behaviour. So even when you enter a new relationship, your new love unfortunately can't get the best of you anymore. All that is left is a shadow of you filled with harshness. It takes God alone to undo the effects of a toxic relationship.

#6 - IT ALTERS YOUR SEXUALITY
A toxic relationship which involves sex tampers with your sexuality. It's either it leaves you frigid (unable to desire or enjoy sex) or it makes you a masochist who can't enjoy sex until it involves pain or violence. It may also make you a sex addict due to eroded self control because you now equate love with sex such that until a relationship involves sex, you can't believe that he/she loves you.

TAKE ACTION NOW
Poison is poison. Enduring a toxic relationship hoping that it will get better is surrendering your life to be an epitome of all these effects. When a drug's adverse effects outweighs its positive effects, the Doctor usually advises you to discontinue its use and recommends one with little or no side effects. The same thing applies to a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is not out rightly bad; there are a few positive things about it. However, its negative effects are more which makes it dangerous and unsuitable. The first step is to call of the relationship. The second step is to get help and allow God heal you, undo these effects and restore you. You don't have to end up alone and loveless. You can learn to love again and enjoy a healthy relationship. Better things await you in future. The only way to get off the road of destruction and get the future you desire is to retrace your steps and chart a new course. Xoxo

Do you need help with breaking out from a toxic relationship? Do you need healing and restoration from the effects of a toxic relationship? I'll be glad to help. Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

P. S. To know more about toxic relationships, click here, here, here, and here.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net

Online Radio Portal

 

5 Side Effects of Casual Sex You Don’t Know

The choices, decisions and steps we take affect us in more ways than we can imagine.

I’m pretty sure you know a lot of side effects of casual sex (whether protected or unprotected) but I guarantee you that what you’re about to read may not be what you think. Everything on thing on the earth has effects which could be positive or negative. The term “side effects” is usually used for things that have a positive effect alongside certain negative, uncomfortable or unpleasant effects. Aside from catching HIV/AIDS, STDs and the likes, unwanted pregnancies and so on, there are other side effects of casual sex which you may not be aware of and yours truly has taken it upon her to share them with you. Fasten your seatbelt as we take a trip through discovery land.

Side Effect #1 – Soul Tie

What is a soul tie? A brand of ties? A tie that the soul wears? Lol, capital NO. A soul tie is actually the bond created between two souls, usually created via sex (definition mine). Sex creates a bond that is different from other kinds of bond (e.g. the bond between friends, family etc)-a spiritual bond between two souls; a soul tie. This is great in marriage because it bonds spouses who are committed to each other together. But in any other scenario, it becomes a hazard because it keeps you bonded to past lovers you’ve long separated from such that it is easier to fall into the temptation to sleep with an ex-lover, even when the relationship has long ended. With each soul tie created, you lose a part of you to that sex partner and gain a part of the person. The more soul ties you create, the more you lose bits of yourself and gain bits of others until you get to that point where you wonder how you acquired all these habits/mannerisms that were not there at the beginning.

Side Effect #2 – An Increased Libido

Add caption

Yea bebe, this is another side effect of casual sex. No one is created a sex maniac from the beginning. We all start out as virgins with a little sexual appetite until the steps we take or the things we experience get us to the point where we become sex addicts. I’m talking about that point where you just can’t do without sex and if there’s no one to “relieve you”, you “help yourself” *wink*. With each sex partner you add to your life, your libido keeps increasing till it gets out of control.

Side Effect #3 – Lack of Self Control

This side effect is a product of side effect two. Little drops of water they say make an ocean. With each casual sex experience (or should I say experiment), one vital thing lost in the process is self-control and a whole lot of it for that matter.  And like I said before, you also gain something: an increased libido.

Side Effect #4 – Disregard for the Opposite Sex

Ahn, aside from all the heart break and stuff people do which cause us to disregard the opposite sex, casual sex also has the same effect. You lose respect for the opposite sex and begin to say things like “they’re all the same” and the likes. You also develop an “everybody is doing it” mindset toward sex and the opposite sex in general.

Side Effect #5 – Inability to Trust

Obviously, this side effect is a product of side effect four. As you begin to lose respect for the opposite sex, you also lose the ability to trust because it is now engrained in your mind that “they’re all the same and cannot be trusted”. So, you find it difficult to trust eventually especially when you enter into a serious relationship.

Turn the Lights Up!

Hehehehe! I do believe with these few points of mine, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that… Don’t mind me jor. I hope that a light bulb has been switched on in your head because of this post. If you’re presently a victim of any or all of these side effects, don’t feel bad; there’s hope for you. Just like there is a remedy for the itchiness that is the side effect of the old malaria drug “chloroquine”, there is a remedy for these side effects. With the help of God and his grace, you can overcome all these and have these side effects reversed. He’s done it for many before; he can do it again for you if you’ll only reach out for his help. Xoxo

Keep your eyes glued to our twitter handle @sister2sisterni and our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister Nigeria for more.