10 Stupid Things You Shouldn’t Do When You’re Young (Pt 2)

This is a sequel to yesterdays post and today, I’m sharing the remaining 5 stupid things you shouldn’t do when you’re wrong.  Read the previous 5 things here.

#6 – Enter into a Blood Covenant

No matter how in love you are right now, NEVER enter into a blood covenant or any kind of covenant for that matter. If love is not enough to keep you both, a covenant is not enough either. Moreover, making such a covenant just gives the devil a platform to manipulate circumstances to ensure you both break the covenant and suffer the consequences. The only covenant you should enter into for love should be a marriage.

#7 – Enter into a Shrine for any Reason

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Oya, hold your ears: NEVER ENTER A JUJU SHRINE FOR ANY REASON. Period!!! Whether you’re just accompanying a friend, someone accused you of something and wants you to swear an oath there, you want to “inquire” on something or get something to make your business or relationship work better, NEVER go to a shrine. That singular action of stepping you into a shrine opens you up to evil spirits and assorted evil manipulations to start working in your life. If you think I’m wrong, ask your pastor. You have your whole life ahead of you to jeopardize it this way.

#8 – Hook up with Strangers in Secret Places

Yea, I know you can take care of yourself, after all you’re no longer a baby. If you have to meet up with strangers or acquaintances in strange places, make sure to tell at least one person close to you where you’re going to and who you’re going with, just in case anything happens. Even if it’s your “boyfriend” or “bossom friend” you’re going to a strange place with, always make sure at least one person knows. Friends and boyfriends have led people to their untimely death, you know. A word is enough for the wise.

#9 – Get Involved with Married Men

Okay, Okay; say whatever you feel like about dating married men. But the truth is: when you date married men, it creates an aura around you that eventually hurts you in future, despite all you think you may gain. That aura becomes like a spiritual perfume or sign board that attracts only married men looking for a booty call to you and blinds single guys to you which will leave you in frustration by the time you’re ready to settle down. To understand this more, read Juanita Bynum’s book No More Sheets.

#10 – Prove Your Love via Sex

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 As long as the earth remains, this cliché will be used “If you love me, prove your love for me”. And then all the pressures to prove your love via sex begins. Don’t be deceived; that has always been a punch line to get ladies to have pre-marital sex. Sex has never been a proof of love. Despite how much he threatens to leave you or get it from some other girl, even if you give in have sex with him, he will still leave you and get another girl when he’s through with you. Wise up; it’s the testosterone speaking, not love. 

Voila! Those are the stupid things you shouldn’t do when you’re young because like a boomerang, they will come back to bite you in nasty places in your future. The choice is now yours to make. If you still choose to be entangled in them, get ready to stomach the consequences in future. May God give us all the grace to make the right choices at each point in life. Xoxo. Have a smashing weekend.

Questions? Suggestions? Private comments? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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5 Side Effects of Casual Sex You Don’t Know

The choices, decisions and steps we take affect us in more ways than we can imagine.

I’m pretty sure you know a lot of side effects of casual sex (whether protected or unprotected) but I guarantee you that what you’re about to read may not be what you think. Everything on thing on the earth has effects which could be positive or negative. The term “side effects” is usually used for things that have a positive effect alongside certain negative, uncomfortable or unpleasant effects. Aside from catching HIV/AIDS, STDs and the likes, unwanted pregnancies and so on, there are other side effects of casual sex which you may not be aware of and yours truly has taken it upon her to share them with you. Fasten your seatbelt as we take a trip through discovery land.

Side Effect #1 – Soul Tie

What is a soul tie? A brand of ties? A tie that the soul wears? Lol, capital NO. A soul tie is actually the bond created between two souls, usually created via sex (definition mine). Sex creates a bond that is different from other kinds of bond (e.g. the bond between friends, family etc)-a spiritual bond between two souls; a soul tie. This is great in marriage because it bonds spouses who are committed to each other together. But in any other scenario, it becomes a hazard because it keeps you bonded to past lovers you’ve long separated from such that it is easier to fall into the temptation to sleep with an ex-lover, even when the relationship has long ended. With each soul tie created, you lose a part of you to that sex partner and gain a part of the person. The more soul ties you create, the more you lose bits of yourself and gain bits of others until you get to that point where you wonder how you acquired all these habits/mannerisms that were not there at the beginning.

Side Effect #2 – An Increased Libido

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Yea bebe, this is another side effect of casual sex. No one is created a sex maniac from the beginning. We all start out as virgins with a little sexual appetite until the steps we take or the things we experience get us to the point where we become sex addicts. I’m talking about that point where you just can’t do without sex and if there’s no one to “relieve you”, you “help yourself” *wink*. With each sex partner you add to your life, your libido keeps increasing till it gets out of control.

Side Effect #3 – Lack of Self Control

This side effect is a product of side effect two. Little drops of water they say make an ocean. With each casual sex experience (or should I say experiment), one vital thing lost in the process is self-control and a whole lot of it for that matter.  And like I said before, you also gain something: an increased libido.

Side Effect #4 – Disregard for the Opposite Sex

Ahn, aside from all the heart break and stuff people do which cause us to disregard the opposite sex, casual sex also has the same effect. You lose respect for the opposite sex and begin to say things like “they’re all the same” and the likes. You also develop an “everybody is doing it” mindset toward sex and the opposite sex in general.

Side Effect #5 – Inability to Trust

Obviously, this side effect is a product of side effect four. As you begin to lose respect for the opposite sex, you also lose the ability to trust because it is now engrained in your mind that “they’re all the same and cannot be trusted”. So, you find it difficult to trust eventually especially when you enter into a serious relationship.

Turn the Lights Up!

Hehehehe! I do believe with these few points of mine, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that… Don’t mind me jor. I hope that a light bulb has been switched on in your head because of this post. If you’re presently a victim of any or all of these side effects, don’t feel bad; there’s hope for you. Just like there is a remedy for the itchiness that is the side effect of the old malaria drug “chloroquine”, there is a remedy for these side effects. With the help of God and his grace, you can overcome all these and have these side effects reversed. He’s done it for many before; he can do it again for you if you’ll only reach out for his help. Xoxo

Keep your eyes glued to our twitter handle @sister2sisterni and our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister Nigeria for more.

5 Dumbest Moves Ladies Make

Shout out to all the wonderful people reading this blog

Sometimes in life, even the smartest people make not so smart moves. Reasons include ignorance, feelings and emotions, adventure, trial and error, feeling like your case is gonna be different and all. And even though we don’t want to admit it, we’ve all made dumb moves at different points in our lives (me too) and done things we’re not so proud of. However, there are some dumb moves that are common to us ladies. Why are they common? Because a lot have ladies have made these moves in the past and a lot of them still keep making these same moves presently.

Now I’m not here to judge anyone or call anyone dumb. Just wanna show you a few of the dumbest moves we ladies make with the hope that the vicious cycle of these heart breaking moves comes to an end (so help me God). In no particular order, let’s check out these dumbest moves.

#1 Dumbest Move – Giving Sex to Get Love or Keep Him

Yea, right. Ladies have done this and keep doing this. Some ladies try to use sex to get a guy-and it actually gets some of them.  The problem is, it usually gets you the wrong kind of guy: the sex maniac, the serial cheat, the chronic bachelor with no intentions of settling down or Mr. Booty Call. Some ladies give sex to “keep” the guy. Usually, it’s because he has been saying things like “We’re going to get married anyways, why hold back?”, “If you love me, show me that you love me”, “Honey, do you want me to go after other ladies out there? Why are you my girlfriend?”, “Just one time, pleeeeease. It will bring us closer” and so many other pick up lines. 

Other ladies give sex thinking it will make the guy love them more and stay faithful to them. But unfortunately, sex doesn’t make a guy love you, love you more, stick with you or stay faithful to you. Those things are a product of personal choice (the guy’s personal choice). The media and pop culture has taught us otherwise so we keep making these dumb moves.

#2 Dumbest Move – Playing House

Playing house means playing “husband and wife” by moving into his house. At first, things seem rosy and great until the “see-finish syndrome” sets in. You know that point he begins to take you for granted and doesn’t appreciate you anymore. That point where you begin to demand more commitment and he keeps putting it off. That point where he wonders to himself how you didn’t have high standards for choosing to move in with him; that point where the fights increase daily and he doesn’t care if you move out of his house because he’s tired of you anyways. Ladies still keep making this dumb move. Except you don’t intend to do anything serious with him, moving into his house is a dumb move that won’t make him marry you.

#3 Dumbest Move – Changing Yourself in Order to Get or Keep Him

He told you he likes a girl that does this or does that; he wants to get married to a girl that acts like this or that. So you start “remixing” yourself to become his ideal woman, the girl of his dreams. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with upgrading yourself and continuous self-improvement. But losing your identity and changing to become someone else will not profit you. In the end, you lose your uniqueness becoming someone else. What happens when the relationship eventually ends and you’ve acquired habits or should I say vices that cause trouble for you in subsequent relationships???

#4 Dumbest Move – Asking Guys Out

Before you crucify me, hear me out. In our age and time, it’s not uncommon for girls to ask guys out. Why? Because they’ve got the boldness and they can. You may be thinking “what’s wrong with that” but I dare say everything is wrong with it. Not every guy is mature enough to handle that (some guys turn the fact that you asked them out into public gist). Guys also like to choose for themselves-not the other way round. If you’re so eager to get a guy to notice you or date your, there are other subtle ways to drop a hint that shows you like him or you’re open to a relationship which will save you the flipside of asking him out. What is the flip side? That moment when he feels he’s seen a girl that he wants and decides to move on telling you “after all, I didn’t ask you out…”

#5 Dumbest Move – Missionary Dating

Missionary dating means dating someone whose character you’re not presently comfortable with the hopes of “changing” him. We’re so guilty of this. Yes, no one is perfect and it is possible to influence another person to change, but trying to change another person will only lead you to frustration. If you don’t like him the way he is, why are you with him? I hear ladies say things like “I’ll change him”, “I’ll make him do …”. So they think they can nag, cajole or threaten the guy to change. No man likes to be nagged, to feel controlled or to feel like you’re trying to change him. Actually, no one does. Smart guys just go with the flow pretending to change just to get you to fall even deeper and later show you their true colour. Missionary dating never changes anyone, except God decides to use you to influence a change in his life but that is only possible if the guy himself is willing to change because we all have a free will. Save yourself the heart break, girl.

Trade the Dumb Moves

If you’re presently making such dumb moves I’m here to tell you this: all you’re gonna get is frustration. Make a detour; many have failed and are still failing for applying these moves. Trade the dumb moves for smarter moves. Do the opposite. Don’t be deceived: a guy will stay with you and be faithful to you if he chooses, not because he’s had sex with you. Moving into his house or changing yourself won’t help either. Having a penchant for asking guys out or missionary dating will only get you hurt many times over.

P.S. These are the 5 dumbest moves I think ladies make. Can you think of more?

Keep your eyes glued to our twitter handle @sister2sisterni and our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister Nigeria for more interesting updates this month. We’ve got a lot of interesting stuff coming up this month.