Ouch! Did she just say that? Oh yes I did. A lot of times we think we’re
ready for marriage simply because we’re a certain age, we’ve made money, we
know how to cook etc. Now don’t get me wrong, these things are part of it, but
they are not the only yardsticks for one’s readiness for marriage. Today, I’m
looking at readiness for marriage from the maturity angle. Marriage is not for “kids”
neither is it “child’s play”. It’s for two willing and mature adults. It takes
a lot more than “love”. Maturity is also important. Again, maturity is not a
product of age but your mindset, understanding and exposure. Join me as we do a little soul searching to
see just how ready we are for marriage. Happy Reading!!!
1)
You Always Want Things to Go
Your Way
For real? Is she serious? Oh yes I am. Only
babies insist on having their way all the time. And when things don’t go their
way, they pout, whine, throw tantrums and become unbearable. Insisting things
must be done just the way you like it all
the time is childishness. Grow up! Learn to reason things with the other
person and reach a compromise for the good of both of you. Marriage is all
about compromise you know.
2) You
Can’t Handle Your Anger
Conflicts, disagreements and quarrelling are
part of life, relationships and yes, marriage. They will always arise. Maturity
is the ability to handle these without the relationship being destroyed. Anger
management is serious business. If you still go haywire destroying things and
beating people up in the name of anger, you’re obviously not ready for
marriage. Your spouse and kids will do many things to offend you when you
eventually get married, what will you do then? Beat them up to death???
3) You
Still Find it Hard To Forgive
For any relationship or marriage to stand the
test of time, it needs a lot of forgiveness. Let’s face it, like Jesus said,
“offences will come”. You will offend your spouse many times unintentionally
and vice versa. If you’re still into keeping malice for days, getting even
(revenge/do me, I do you) and always digging up past issues, all these will
eventually destroy your marriage. Still find it hard to forgive? God gives
grace to those who ask.
4) You
Use “It’s Over” at the Slightest Provocation
This one is a big no no! If you find that at
the slightest provocation in your relationships, you use words like “it’s
over”, “I’m done”, “Get out of my life”, “I hate you” etc, you’re not ready for
marriage one bit. Why must every disagreement you have end with these words?
When you eventually get married it will graduate to “I’m divorcing you”. Delete
these nasty words from your vocabulary. Mature people try to settle their
differences. They do not bail out at the slightest provocation.
5) You’re
Not Ready To Give Up Your Freedom
Bombshell! Is marriage a prison yard then?
Before you crucify me, hear me out. Being in a relationship/marriage with
someone has its own rules. It’s different from being single. When you’re
single, you can do whatever you like without considering anyone’s feelings,
needs etc. Relationships/marriage have side effects (some amount of your
freedom). You can’t make certain decisions without letting the other party
know. You can’t stay out late or make certain journeys without having someone
ask you why (sometimes it feels like interrogation lol). If you’re not ready
for these side effects, you’re definitely not ready for marriage.
6) You’re
Not Ready To Share
Marriage requires sharing on a largeeeee
scale. You share your space, time, money, ideas, body etc with your spouse and
eventually your kids. Some people want to share their time but not their money
and vice versa. Wake up! If you’re not ready to share, you might as well remain
single. Mature people understand that love is sharing and sharing means sharing
everything.
And this is where the soul searching for
today ends. So you said 12 signs…where
are the remaining six? Easy! Watch out for the remaining six. Or how do
they say it: to be continued….(lol). Just chew on these six for now. Search
your soul and see where you need to make adjustments. xoxo
PS:
Wickedness is when you read this and refuse to share it. You never can tell
who’ll be needing it. So share! Share! Share! Comments are always
welcome.
Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni
and like our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister
Nigeria.
