Shout out to all the wonderful people reading
this post. See y’all in the month of May.
And the
beautiful month of April comes to an end…I do hope the month was nice to you.
Today, I’m doing the second part to a post I did days ago titled Man Check: Do you have a check list. It’s actually meant for those who are in
a relationship or about to go into one to do a routine check on the man they’re
dating. Today, we’re doing a routine
check to be double sure he is who you think he is. Why? Because you don’t
want to go into marriage thinking you’re with Angel Johnny only to wake up and
discover you just married Demon Johnny, lol, your worst nightmare.
Have you
ever fallen into a pot-hole or gutter before you, not because you were blind,
but because you were gisting with someone, talking on the phone, thinking of
something else or because it was dark and you had no flash light? Yes, right?
Now I’ll like to ask a question. Did you fall because you were blind? Of course
not. Your eyes were functioning properly but some other factors prevented you
from seeing well enough so you entered the pit. In the same way, no one
deliberately wants to date or marry Demon Johnny. They usually pick him
thinking he’s Angel Johnny only to discover he’s something else. So today, I’ll
be giving you a few pointers to use
in checking if he is who you think he is.
Pointer 1: His Friends
Who are
those he calls his friends? Who does he listen to, confide in, run to when in
trouble and take advice from? Whether we admit it or not, the friends we keep
influence us a lot, so a wise person ought to choose his/her friends wisely. We
may argue that we’re not easily influenced but it is a proven fact that evil
company corrupts good manners. No one chooses when or how to be influenced, but
we can choose who influences us. If your man has friends who you’re not
comfortable with because they have vices, you should be concerned. For
instance, if he has friends who constantly drink, womanise, cheat on or beat up
their girl friends/wives, and he’s comfortable with them, those are danger
signs. All it takes is for them to steadily keep cajoling him and for both of
you to have a squabble in the relationship and he’ll be walking down that road
in no time. What about those he hangs out with regularly? Even if he doesn’t
call them his friends, the fact that he spends time with them regularly opens
him to their influence. What’s the
bottom line, you know a lot about him when you watch the company he keeps.
Pointer 2: His Version of
“Unwinding”
Where
does he go to when he wants to unwind? What does he do if he wants to unwind?
I’m not here to condemn any one’s version of unwinding but if what he does to
unwind is not in line with who he is or who he says he is, you gotta watch
closely. If his version of unwinding is strip clubs and he says he’s a
Christian or he’s God-fearing or whatever, you better wake up. Girl, he’s just
a church-goer. A God-fearing man wouldn’t have that on his list of how to
unwind not to talk of actually going there.
Pointer 3: The Way He Treats
Sub-Ordinates, His Siblings and His Mother
This is a
veeeeery huge pointer. If your Mr. Lovey-dovey treats people under him with inhumane
actions and nastiness without provocation, if he treats his siblings too
harshly all the time or treats his mother harshly, disrespectfully, and doesn’t
show her love, its points to very deep things. It shows he’s actually a harsh
man and all that lovey-dovey he’s showing you are just an act to get you. It’s
only a matter of time (when he eventually gets too familiar with you) and
you’ll start seeing his harsh side. Also, the way he treats house keepers,
waiters, and people beneath his status who do menial jobs for him tells you if
he’s arrogant, bossy, dehumanizing etc.
Pointer 4: His Anger
Everyone
gets angry. Everyone feels like beating or strangling people when angry. But
guess what, not everyone kills people when angry. Why? Mature people learn to
handle and control their anger. If he’s always quick to fly into a rage and
can’t seem to control his anger with people around him, you should be
concerned. There is no way you will hang with him and not get him angry
someday. Can you endure such angry outbursts? He may be treating you like an
angel now but what will you do when the demon of his anger descends on him and
he beats you up claiming “it was the devil”?
Pointer 5: Random Statements He
Makes
Oh yes,
you can discover a lot about the man you’re dating from the random statements
he makes. I’m talking about those unplanned statements he makes in unguarded
moments like “My wife won’t work o! I don’t want her to suffer” or, “I don’t
want a career woman” or “If my wife ever tries that, I’ll beat her black and
blue” or “I don’t want a woman who wears ……., fixes ….., uses ….. I want a
woman who is natural” etc. Of course he’s entitled to his opinion and
preferences and who are we to deprive him of that but these unguarded
statements are pointers to the deep volcano rumbling within his personality.
Pointer 6: His Beliefs and
Values
I’m not
referring to the cultural beliefs and values of the place he comes from. He may
be from a particular place but may not accept some aspects of the cultures and
values of his people. I’m talking about his personal beliefs and values. What
beliefs and cultural values does he hold dear? What are the things that mean
the most to him? You can tell these from the random statements he makes, as I
earlier mentioned.
Pointer 7: Is He Submitted To
God?
I had
wanted to tag this pointer “his relationship with God” but I felt it would
create some confusion and probably mislead you, so I chose “Is he submitted to
God instead”. I’m not asking if he goes to church, prays, fasts, sees visions,
prophesies, speaks in tongues, is born again etc. I’m referring to someone
whose life is submitted to God, who allows the word and spirit of God direct
and rule his life. Why? You can never go wrong with someone who is submitted to
God. How do you know he’s submitted to God? From the steps he takes and how he
takes them. Or have you forgotten that it is written, by their fruits, you
shall know them?
So What Next?
Now
you’ve read all these pointers, use them to do the necessary check on the man
in your life and be sure he’s who you think he is. The ball is now in your
court. Like I said in the first sequel of the post series titled "Man Check", if
you’re just dating him for dating sake, you may not need what all these. But if
you intend to take the relationship to the next level, probably switch gears to
courtship/marriage, then you should do some serious man check.
P.S: Thanks so much for reading. Don’t forget
to share this post with all the pips in your life. Happy New Month. See ya in
the month of May. Xoxoxoxoxoxo
Stinginess
is
when you read this and refuse to share it with those you know. Foolishness is when you read it and don’t apply it
to your life. Wickedness is when you don’t
tell someone how much you’ve been blessed so far by this blog. And I know
you’re not stingy, foolish or wicked.
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