Are You Switching Roles With The Devil???

It’s sooo easy to get caught in a web of activities that we unconsciously begin to take up roles that originally belong to the devil. This post is not meant to accuse anyone of becoming a devil but to serve as an eye opener as we search our hearts to know if we’re guilty so we can amend our ways. Here are five roles of the devil you may be unconsciously switching into. Happy reading!

Accuser

The bible classifies the devil as “the accuser of the brethren who accuses them day and night before God” (Revelations 12:10); he is the certified accuser. Aside from the basic meaning of the word accuser, this role also involves bringing up people’s past as the reason why they’re unqualified for something in the present, bad mouthing them before someone, revealing secrets about them to someone to spoil their name, working via words or actions consciously or unconsciously to put sand in their garri (spoil their name). People who play this role, just like the devil, are not happy with their own lives because they’re not making progress and their bitterness has caused them to be angry at other people’s progress, hence their actions. The only news God sent us to spread is the good news; except you’re warning someone out of love, quit this role now!

Troubler

If your presence or words have become synonymous with causing trouble, you’re fast switching roles with the devil. If every time you show up somewhere, fights and quarrels break out due to something you said or did (including fights with you and between others), you are a “joiner of heads” and a troubler. For instance, you may have the habit of making side comments about people or things that make the other person see faults where they do not normally do and so, katakata (trouble) ensues. Such side comments look like this: “Did you see how … acted? Are you just going to sit there and do nothing? If na me eh, I for land am one slap!” or “Your boyfriend/husband didn’t get you anything for Christmas? That’s terrible of him oh! What kind of boyfriend/husband is he?” and the next thing, someone that wouldn’t have reacted harshly to that scenario now picks a fight. Wake up! The devil has just hired you as his mouth piece already. Matthew 5:9 says “blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God” so the opposite would read “cursed are the trouble makers for they shall be called the sons of the devil”. Selah.

Tempter

Being a tempter simply means (in my own words) being the reason why someone does something bad they wouldn’t have ordinarily done, and being the reason why someone sins against God. The only self-certified tempter is the devil. If your words, consistent prodding/yabbing, actions or dressing are the reason the reason why someone else falls into temptation, you have become the devil’s accomplice and Luke 17:1 says “… he (Jesus) said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! Why not become the reason why people get it right instead? Closely related to this role is the manipulator who uses words and gimmicks + nagging and threats to get people to do dance to their tune. If you have the habit of threatening people to do things your way otherwise you’ll leave them or stop talking to them, you’re a manipulator.

Rumour Monger

Otherwise known as “bearing false witness”; when you habitually spread news (especially negative) about someone or some organization which you are not certain of, as if it were the truth, you have become a rumour monger. Even if it is true, who contracted you to spread such news that will tarnish someone’s image? What if God went about washing your dirty linens and secret in public; would you like it? The devil uses the lips of rumour mongers to do his work in pulling people or organizations down: BEWARE!

Fault Finder

When all you can see about people, situations or opportunities are the wrong side, the devil has definitely hacked into your system and twisted your mindset. Fault finding is a habit, an addiction that will eventually lead you into complaining/murmuring, ungratefulness, and becoming too hard to please. Eventually, those around you will get tired of your fault finding attitude. Consciously look for the good in everyone and everything and you will always have reasons to be grateful. For more about fault finding, see 4 signs you’re a fault finder.

Self Check

I’m checking myself to see if I’m guilty of any of these so I can repent from them and amend my ways; you should do the same too. Let’s leave the devil’s work for him and focus on fulfilling destiny and loving others. xoxo

Got questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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A Few Things To Do This Season

Hello Everyone,

I’ve been away from the blog for a while now; got caught up in other things but I kept missing the blog a lot so I’m back. The harmattan is everywhere now; you know that weather that lets you know it’s the month of Christmas. It’s been a long year and many things have happened. It’s easy to get caught up in what went wrong this year, expectations you had that didn’t come to pass and even things / loved ones you lost. But if you look well enough, you’ll see that some really good, unplanned and unexpected things also happened to you.  Here are a few things you may consider doing this season.

Count Your Blessings

Get a pen and paper and write out all the good things that happened to you this year. And when you finish, open your mouth and thank God for his goodness to you. Don’t forget to include everyday blessings such as waking up daily, being alive, healthy and sane, excellent health plus healing the times you felt down, provision, appetite to eat etc. Because some people would give anything to be alive and well right now but they aren’t cuz they’re already six feet below. Also include the good things that happened to your loved ones; cuz their joy is your joy too. 

  

Appreciate those who made the year special

This season is most definitely a season of thanksgiving and celebration. Remember everyone that made the year special for you and appreciate them with words, actions and gifts where you can. It’s not about how expensive the gift is, it’s about the love and appreciation you’re expressing. If you have parents that are still alive, treat them special this season. You don’t want to wake up one day regretting not spending time with them or treating them special because they’re dead.

Make it special

As you make your bed, you lie on it; as you choose to celebrate this season, so shall it be unto you. Take advantage of all the positive programmes that are being held this season like carols, drama nights, orchestra etc. Plan/go on a picnic with a few special people. Fill the season with anything that brings laughter and joy.

Get Some Me Time: Spend Time Alone 

Make time alone to reflect on how the year has been and prayerfully position yourself for next year. Commit what needs to be committed unto God and pause to listen for directions from the HolySpirit.

Whatever you do this season, don’t let anything or the lack of anything steal your joy or dampen your spirit. Don’t do anything stupid or anything you will regret. The reason for the season is God’s gift to our world – JESUS; not getting drunk and misconduct. Xoxo

Got questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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Twists and Turns-Episode 5

Episode 5

 Iye rubbed her face as she took a last glance at the mirror. She smiled in satisfaction at herself. Her long gown was just the perfect size for her. She didn't want to look too flashy neither did she want to look needy but she loved the simple but sweet look she had achieved. She turned to her friends. "How do I look?"
"Well I thought you wouldn't ask but trust me I would have commented. So tell us, who is this guy you are trying to look perfect for and hey! Is that a stint of blush on your cheek, wow! She has totally fallen for him." Tamuno said laughing. Iye shook her head and smiled. "Tamuno, one problem you have is that you assume a lot and most times your assumptions are wrong and usually they leave you in regrets."
"So who are you doing all these for?" She asked eagerly.
"Tamuno have you forgotten that she goes to see her daughter every last Tuesday of the month and today is her birthday so she needs to be happy and look good." Bukky explained and Tamuno's shoulders drooped.
"Oh my God! I am so sorry! Wow, happy birthday to her. Why didn't you tell me so I could get my gift ready huh! Well I only wish for you to have a man that will take care of you not that jerk. He does not deserve anything good in his life and...”  Tamuno!!! Thank you ehn, please stop the insults I beg. You know the only thing that is keeping me quiet is my child. I have prayed every prayer I know just to have my baby with me but I guess I have to make do with what I have" She said sadly.
"Oh common! Don't let that bother you okay. I know all will be well." Bukky said even though she was not sure about all being well.

Osas had walked out of her life like she was a piece of trash, he left her feeling she never meant anything to him. She felt like a fool and it hurt to see the man you love flaunting another girl in front of you. She heard of his new girl and couldn't believe he had gotten over her in such a short while. It turns out life has played a cruel joke on her but she was not laughing at all. She wished her friend could find a good man to marry her and help take back her daughter from that beast…

They waved Iye good bye until she was out if sight.
Iye stepped out of the taxi that drove her to the two bedroom flat. She walked to the balcony where she met his neighbor…" Good afternoon ma." Iye greeted the woman.
"Welcome my dear, you come see your princess abi?"
"Yes ma, today is her birthday. I didn't come last month and I waited for today to surprise her. Let me go and see my baby." She said excitedly walking towards the door.
"Em... My dear wait." The woman called and Iye stopped in her tracks.
"Yes ma, you called me. It's like they are not even at home now." She said eyeing the padlock on the door with a dampened spirit. She had hoped that she would meet them at home or at least, to meet her not him. They always had issues to discuss whenever she came around and she was not ready for that now. All she wanted was to have great fun with her daughter.
"Baba Angel been know say you dey come before?" The woman asked in pidgin English.
"Yes now, he knows this is my day of visitation." She said wondering why she should be questioned. "Hope all is well ma."                                                     " My dear, talk dey. Make you no just spoil body you hear." The woman explained.
"Ma please, don't be silent. If you have anything to say to me please do." She said with quivering lips. A sudden fear had come on her as she tried to imagine the worst and what will happen if she loses her daughter.
"OK then, the thing be say your oga don carry Angel travel."
Iye started to shake her head. "Angel! Travelled? To where? He never mentioned that they would be travelling and oh my God! "She scratched her head in confusion. " My baby had better be okay if not, he will see the worst part of me." She said shaking in fury. The older woman just looked at her as if she was merely watching a movie.
"Em...please ma, do you have an idea of where they went?" She asked after several attempts to call his number.
"Na one madam place o. E be like say Angel go dey live for there now. The madam get money well well and so them been dey find person wey go dey stay with them as e be say all them children no dey inside we country again." She explained feeling no remorse. She assumed Iye was pretending not to know the truth.
"So my daughter is another woman's house help eh?!"
"Hmm! Na the name wey I been hear be that. You sabi book well well, I even...Aunty you don dey go? Make you look road well o." The woman called after her but she was past caring what happens next as she walked off in anger like a lioness whose cubs had been stolen.
"My baby is now a house help? How could he do this to me? I thought he was capable of taking care of her? Who knows if those people will remember or care if it's her birthday?" She soliloquized.
"Hey lady, get off the road." Someone yelled but she didn't hear until the car screeched with a loud noise and stopped. Her body reacted with shock and she stood still until a passerby yanked her off the road.
"Iye are you okay?"
She turned towards to a familiar voice. "Mark!"

To be continued…

The story continues next Tuesday. Keep a date with us. 

Read older episodes below

Episode 1 2 3 4 

 

Pheobe Omiwole is a motivational speaker and a talented writer who uses her pen and voice to affect the world and the lives of men. She also has a personal blog where she writes really inspiring stuff. Check out her blog on  http://www.pheobeomiwole.WordPress.com 

5 Reasons Why a Good Man Will Leave You

Happy weekend to all newbies and faithfuls of the blog! This post is actually a sequel to an earlier juicy post 5 reasons a good woman will leave you. As I promised, in this post, the guys are letting us understand the reasons why a good man will leave you while yours truly will keep her lips sealed and listen (yes today I’m a student on this post). Two guest bloggers Hussein Jethro Sule and Dalan Cbn Dalan will give us their 5 reasons why a good man will leave any woman. Not only that, the views of a few guys on the matter that were kind enough to give us their responses will also be featured here. Have fun reading this eye opening post.

Warning: It’s gonna be a long read because of the views of different guys sampled here but I guarantee you, you won’t regret reading it one bit. So, brace yourself up and read, read, read!

Hussein Speaks…

A good man is a man that is good and if a good man is dating any woman I do not see any reason why he would leave her except she is so carnally minded. But here are some tips to help the ladies:

1. When you do not support his vision: A man who has vision will always desire a woman who can support that vision not destroy it. But where the woman is always kicking against his vision via words and actions, he’ll stop discussing it with her and that’s a sign that she is on her way out of his life. 
2. When you are troublesome: If you always nag, quarrel and get angry with your man at every instance, get ready to leave his life. The bible says it in these words “it’s better to dwell in a corner of a house top, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” You don’t need to contend with your man, understand him and you will know how to handle him. 
3. Pride and selfishness: If you are a proud woman and not ready to change, you will soon fall because pride goes before a fall. If you always go to the extent of exhibiting pride to him and you’re too obstinate to give in to change; he might just let you be. So also, if all you think about is “me, myself and I” you will soon lose him. This attitude makes him so sure you’ll be selfish to your own family and extend it to his family too and ultimately, his children and this is one thing he won’t take from you. 
4. Lies: If you are fond of lies, a good man will leave you. A good man is a man who loves God; God hates lies and a good man hates lies too. When you lie about virtually everything; you lie about your whereabouts, you lie about what’s happening, you lie about what you are doing. Aahh! Woman you are not just a liar, you are a LIE. 
5. Infidelity: If you want to “spread your hands and taste the waters” then be ready to lose your man. You can’t be jumping from one bed to another and expect to settle on the bed of a good man. He will never allow you. Marriage is not the cure for fornication; renew your mind and stay with God, not another relationship. If you still want to keep measuring/tasting men or looking for a suitable match for yourself; you will not get a good man and if you do, your character will not keep him.

I want to believe that this has taught you a good lesson; note your weaknesses and work on them. God’s mercy erases all messes; if you’re guilty of any of these. Ask God for His mercy, ask him to forgive you and help you now and always. 

Dalan Cbn Dalan speaks…

Let me begin by saying that whenever a discussion or debate on relationships between young men and women comes up, I don't waste time trying to paint or add cosmetics to it. I always tell singles like me that relationships that would lead to marriage ought to be practical and being practical in this context means 'DOING THE RIGHT THING'. Having said all this, here are some of the Reasons why good and God-fearing men leave their women.

•  Lack of Respect:The truth is that men generally are egoistic. In other words, they have this pride in them that should be respected (privately or publicly) by their girlfriend or wife. You know what, either the late Bob Marley or Lucky Dube (I’m not certain now) said something very profound, which is that where there is respect, then there is love. On the other hand, where there is love without respect, it amounts to hypocrisy. So, women who fail to respect their men may end up losing them to other women who know this secret. I believe that respect is reciprocal but women should learn to respect the man in their life.

•  Nagging: Personally, I don't like a nagging woman and I pray + hope I don't meet one as my future wife. So, women should learn to make their men happy, cheerful and use diplomacy when trying to ask them for something.

• Unfaithfulness: Any woman who keeps more than one relationship may end up losing all of them. Remember, a bird at hand is worth thousands in the bush. So, ladies should learn to keep one relationship and nurture it. Failure to do this would make her man look elsewhere.

• Lacking in Initiative: Initiative is the ability to do the right thing without being told. For instance, cooking an irresistibly delicious meal for him, washing some of his clothes some times, supporting him financially when he is down temporarily, giving him a warm hug whenever you meet him, praying for him, advising him to support his family, especially his mum and siblings, treating his family with courtesy and respect, praying sincerely for him are all things a sensitive and wise woman ought to do. Where a lady does all this without being told, it’s hard for a man to ever think of leaving her and where he does leave her, then he is a fool forever and nemesis will catch up with him. But if she does not have the initiative, then her man would be forced to look elsewhere.

Other things are gossip, too much pretence and being lousy.

Now let’s see what the other guys have to say….

Paul speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Lack of personal vision or dreams on the part of the woman

-Unwillingness to support my dreams/God’s calling for my life

-In ability to trust

-Lies

-Disobedience

Nathan speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Too materialistic and worldly

-Spiritually inconsistent

-Does not support my dreams/aspirations and is not comfortable with it or supportive

-Lies and inability to trust

-She doesn’t have dreams and aspirations of her own

Andrew speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-Too cheap

-Always nagging and trying to cajole me into proposing to her

-Unserious with her life and life in general

-Exhibits bad character such as rudeness, arrogance, disrespect etc.

Chibuzo speaks…

My 5 reasons why a good man will leave a woman include:

-She’s self-willed and hard headed; she feels she can do whatever she likes

-Unfaithfulness

-Neglects the words of the man and takes him for granted

-Doesn’t know how talk (lacks manner of approach)

Elijah speaks…

No relationship ever breaks up due to too much RESPECT. The major reason a good man will leave a woman is if she’s DISRESPECTFUL. Ladies should learn to boost their man’s ego VERY IMPORTANTLY.

Justice speaks…

My opinion on this is:

Lack of humility, dirtiness, unintelligence, the habit of over-demanding and stinginess as well as lack of sexual skillfulness are the reasons a man will leave a woman he feels deeply for. 

Oya now! You’ve heard it from the guys themselves. Oh men, na waoh. I notice some issues were kinda recurrent like disrespect, infidelity, and pride/lack of humility. Ladies, I trust that this post has opened your eyes in many ways. It will be wise if we all search ourselves to see if we’re guilty of any of these things before the good men in our lives start thinking of taking a hike. But seriously, what’s your opinion? Guys, do you agree with what they said? Ladies, let me know what you think. Comments Please! Have a lovely weekend.

Got questions, suggestions or private comments? Wanna reach me? Facing a relationship dilemma and in need of counsel? I’m just an email away; email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

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HusseinJethro Sule is the brothers coordinator and training coordinator of Word WYN. He lives in Abuja.

Dalan Cbn Dalan studied at Nigerian Law School, Kano and lives in Jos.