Work-Place Wisdom 2

This post is a sequel to a previous post I did weeks ago (click here to read the initial post). It’s all about tit-bits of wisdom that will help you navigate through the working environment smoothly. Today, as the beautiful world cup month of July comes to a beautiful end, I’ll be sharing 5 other tit-bits that will make you more effective on the job. Have fun reading them but most importantly, apply them to your life cuz wisdom is the application of knowledge acquired.

#6 Avoid Office Gossip

Gossip ruins people

A lot of things happen in the office environment daily and such things eventually becoming juicy news for fueling gossip around the office. It usually starts with a “have you heard…” or “you don’t know what happened…” and before you know it, you’re engrossed in gossip. Whether or not what is being said is true, don’t be caught up in office gossip. Why? You’re bigger than that of course. Not only does it sap your energy and time for better things, it gives you unnecessary info about your colleagues that affects the way you relate with them and eventually hampers your working relationship. Plus, it sets you up for a “dem-say dem-say” trap (he said, she said) when the news eventually reaches your superiors. Serious-minded people don’t have time for gossip. If necessary, you can place a sign that says “don’t come to me with gossip” beside your desk.

#7 Love What You Do

You don’t have to love your boss; love what you do instead. Your boss may not be one of the kindest or most understanding bosses around, but if you learn to love what you do and give it your best, your productivity will greatly multiply. Your level of excellence and creativity increases when you learn to love what you do.

#8 Learn How to Handle Sensitive Information

Without being told to keep it a secret, you should be able to tell which calibre of info at your disposal is sensitive info. Such information should not be divulged, even to fellow co-workers. If you are in custody of sensitive office property such as keys, approval stamps etc, be careful how you handle them so no one uses your carelessness to set you up. Even when you go to informal recreational centres when work is over, be careful what you gist about with regards to your work place, especially as regards sensitive info. Bottom line, what happens in the office, stays in the office.

#9 Do Not Expect Praise

Everyone loves praise, encouragement and the proverbial “pat on the back”. But expecting to receive these as a pre-requisite to effectiveness at work is like expecting to receive birthday, Christmas and new-year greetings every day. Besides, doing things just to be noticed is eye-service. Create a steady profile of effectiveness whether or not you’re noticed and let it be your trade mark. Though you may not be commended always, what you do gets noticed by both your superiors and colleagues and a short while from now, your productivity and effectiveness will announce you; somebody somewhere will recommend you for a better position/or a better deal.  

#10 Google It

You don’t have to know everything; when you’re asked to prepare documents or do something you have little or no experience on, search the internet to find helpful tips. If there are people you know who have knowledge of the task around, call them to ask for directions. The internet was not made just for chatting or social media you know. Join necessary internet forum or communities that are related to what you do where information sharing occurs daily to get latest tips that will enhance your work. If your office lacks internet services, make use of the internet service on your smart phone; anything to get your work done. Wishing you a mind-blowing August as the new month begins tomorrow.

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Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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Is He Your Boyfriend or a Thorn in Your Flesh???

The identity of a tree is known not only by how it looks, but by the fruit it bears.

Shout out to all my dream/vision chasers reading this post; keep chasing those dreams for that is the only way to stand out in life. Today’s post is dedicated to all those who are in love or dating someone presently. In the context of this blogpost, when I say “boyfriend”, I mean a guy you’re dating okay so let’s not get things mixed up. Ehen! Sister mi, let’s do some soul searching together; let’s take stock of that relationship you’re in to be sure you’re on the right track and not headed for a disaster. That guy you’re dating, is he really your friend or is he a thorn in your flesh??? Ehn Ehn, I didn’t ask you if you love him or if he loves you; it’s a question of his effect in your life or why do you think Matthew 7:16 says “by their fruits you shall know them…”? I’ll walk you through some things that will help you think properly and decipher if he’s really your boyfriend or a thorn in your flesh so you’ll know what to do. So sit tight, make yourself comfortable and scroll down to read more.

Boyfriend vs Thorn

A friend is someone you enjoy being with who helps you, supports you and adds value to your life. A thorn is someone who constantly hurts you, chokes you, makes life uncomfortable and unbearable for you to the point that you can’t focus properly in life. Now you know what these are, the question is: is he supporting you and adding value to your life or is he doing the opposite as well as hurting, choking, and making life unbearable for you? If you can thoughtfully and truthfully provide answers to these, you’ll be able to tell if he’s your friend or a thorn in your flesh. 

Signs that he’s indeed a boy friend

Remember girl, the compound word “boyfriend” is made up of “boy” (which signifies his gender) and “friend” (which signifies that he is a friend not just in name but in actions). Here are a few signs that he is indeed a friend:

• He accepts you for who you are but encourages you to be better,

• He supports your dreams and aspirations with encouragement and otherwise,

• He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a loving manner,

• Since he came into your life, you have improved in many ways and you’re still improving,

• When you think about a future with him, you’re not scared.

Signs that he’s a thorn in your flesh

Thorns are plants, just like any other plant formed by God. Why they were made, I do not know; but they exist anyway. If you’ve ever been pierced by a thorn, you know just how “sweet” romance with a thorn can be. Here are a few signs that you’re dating a thorn:

• He likes you but doesn’t accept you for who you; he constantly nags you to change not for the better but to become someone he has in mind,

• He doesn’t support your dreams and aspirations but wants you to give them up if you really love him,

• He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a destructive, belittling, and demeaning manner,

• Since he came into your life, people say you’re a shadow of yourself; all you’ve become is a fearful puppet he controls with threats and so on,

• When you think about a future with him, you’re SCARED and hoping he would change someday. 

Which one is he?

All I’ve done is showing you the signs, now you should be able to tell which one he is. If you discover that you’re dating a boyfriend who is truly a friend, congratulations! I’m happy for you and I hope it leads to something better. But if you discover you’re dating a thorn in flesh disguised as a boyfriend, oh girl, YOU’RE IN AN EMERGENCY. 

How long will you endure the piercings of a thorn? Until it destroys you completely abi? Okay ooooo. She who drinks poison in a bottle of coke praying and hoping that it doesn’t hurt or kill her eventually is either mad, blind or on a suicide mission and I’d like to believe you’re not. A word, they say, is enough for the wise. Xoxo

P.S- If you’re reading this and you’re a guy, the same thing applies to you big time. Click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version. Have a sweet week.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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Where Are All The Good Men???

Dedicated to all those who wonder where all the good men are and whether they still exist.

As we go through life meeting diverse kinds of people (the good, the bad and the ugly), it affects us in many ways, especially with regards to our perspective about life and people. Not only that, the experiences we watch people around us go through also affect our perspective greatly that you begin to buy into stereotypes such as “all men are…..”, “love is…”, “marriage is…”, “all the good men around are taken” and many more. It’s true that you are entitled to your own opinion considering the wealth of experiences and proofs you may have to back up these stereotypes but the truth in life is: there are always exceptions to every rule.

In 1^st Kings 19:13-14, Elijah goes before God and complains that all the good men and prophets have been killed and he is the only one left. From his point of view he was right. But God answers him in 1^st Kings 19:18 by saying that he has about 7000 people left who haven’t worshipped baal. Imagine that…a whopping 7000 people. What’s my point? That view of yours that there are no longer any good men or women is as false as Elijah’s view that he was the last good man standing. It’s a viewpoint born out of the nasty things you’ve personally experienced or watched others experience and it’s quite an incorrect one. 

God still has thousands of good men and women reserved; it’s just that you haven’t met them…yet. Instead of holding onto the mindset that there are no longer any good men in existence (a lie which the enemy and situations around you so much wants you to believe), why not ask the Lord who knows where these men/women are hidden to send one into your life??? Ask him to order your steps to meet one and he’ll surely grant your request. But first of all, you must, let go of the stereotype in your mind that there are no good men anywhere for it is the veil that will prevent you from meeting one or discerning when one comes your way. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord… Ps 37:23. Have a sweet weekend.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here.

Now That You’re Married-Make It Work

Nothing works out by chance; someone has to work it out. Make it work!!!

Congratulations to all the newly-weds and couples reading this. You’re living the reality of what most singles dream and wish for. The more they (single people) see you, the more they pray to be in your shoes. However, with the high rate of divorce these days, it sometimes gets the singles wondering and skeptical of toeing that line. When you got married to your spouse, I’m quite sure that you were all smiles, making those vows, hoping the fairy tale experience of the wedding would never end. When you buy a brand new car, it looks really great; but it’s how you handle and maintain that car that will determine if it will look great and not pack-up in the years to come. The same thing applies to your marriage: you have to make it work. It’s not enough to get married, it takes extra-work to stay married and I mean happily married.

Marital Adjustment Is Important

http://psychologicaldictionary.org defines marital adjustment as the process during which partners in a marriage adapt and change to their new roles in order to complement each other and function as a team. This process ought to start after tying the knot and is widely accepted by psychologists as one of the factors crucial to the stability, sweetness and success of a marriage. Now the two big questions are: have you adjusted to your new status as a married person and are you adjusting to your spouse’s personality daily? 

Yes, your status changed on paper and you probably have a ring on your finger, but are you acting in line with the demands of your new role? There are patterns of behaviour that were tolerable when you were single but will ruin your marriage if you don’t let them go. Such things include discussing details of your marriage that should be kept secret with your “friends”, taking huge/serious decisions especially with regards to your career &finances without consulting your spouse, insisting on having your way all the time, doing things only when you feel like it and many more. Ahn! Ahn! Your new status as a married person does not permit these. Staying out late unnecessarily and having strange friends of the opposite sex indiscriminately will only land you into trouble with your spouse. Don’t be a married person living like a single person; it will gradually ruin your marriage.

Study your spouse, find out what they like, how they like it, what makes them hurt or angry and how they act when hurt or angry. Discover what they like in bed and see how you can bring it on; discover their soft and hot buttons and everything about their personality and temperament and see how you can adjust positively. Find out their love language and speak it. 

Do Everything You Can

Upgrade your looks and your skills all round. Have a regular check to be sure there are no weeds of bitterness, nasty behaviours, unforgiveness and taking each other for granted growing in your relationship. Don’t forget to pray over you, your spouse and your marriage because when men pray, God acts. If people go to the extent of getting “juju” to make their marriages work, why can’t you get yours by “getting God”? Check to see if your communication with each other is not broken and reduced to talks about the kids and what happened at work alone. Take time out of your busy schedule to spend exclusive time with your spouse. If you keep putting the blame on how busy you are, you’ll wake up one day and discover that you guys have become two strangers living as housemates. Just like you regularly check your tyres, your engine oil and the fuel level of your car so you can change or refill them, check yourself and your relationship with your spouse to see what you can do to improve things. It’s quite crazy the attention we give to our cars and jobs to ensure they’re in top shape only to ignore our spouses and marriages. 

Your kids need your marriage to work, last and be sweet; set a good example for them by being the reason they want to get married. As you make your bed, so you’ll like on it. Beds don’t make themselves; people do! Quit complaining the bed isn’t made, quit complaining your marriage is not sweet anymore; make your bed; make your marriage work. The attention you give to making it work will yield a beautiful harvest for you to enjoy. Check out other things that won’t be helpful to your marriage here and here.

P.S- Good News: You can now subscribe to follow this blog via email to get new posts on the blog in your inbox. If you’re reading this from a mobile device, click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version. Have a sweet week.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here.