Wounds of the soul are unseen, yet they require the same attention as physical wounds.
If
only we could go through life without break ups or being hurt….However, that is
one wish that can’t be granted on this side of the universe. Most people have
experienced a break up at least once in their life time; others have
experienced one hurtful situation or the other from friends, family members and
loved ones. Such situations sometimes leave us with wounds in form of warped
minds, thoughts, attitudes and even patterns of behaviour. In other words, they
leave us with side effects that need to be attended to. One major side effect
is that they leave us believing lies and the greatest error one can make is
swallowing these lies hook, line and sinker, as if they were the truth. Here
are a few lies the break ups and hurts you’ve gone through have made you
believe.
Lie 1: You’re not good
enough/You’re too this or that
Think
of it: you never felt you were not good enough till you went through that break
up; you never felt you were too tall, short, fat, skinny, noisy, quiet etc till
you went through that hurtful situation. And though it’s been months or years
since it happened, you still feel like you’re not good enough in those areas.
It’s worse when about two or more people who hurt you said the same thing to
you. Now, believing this lie has cost you your self esteem in these aspects.
Lie 2: You’ll never
find somebody to love you
Thanks
to that guy who kept telling you no one would ever love you like he loved you
and yet jilted you, you’re now scared that you will never find any one like
him. That devil is a liar!!! When he is not Yahweh who has the final say over
your life???? The problem is not that he tried to feed you this lie; the
problem is YOU BELIEVED IT.
Lie 3: He took my virginity now I’m left with nothing
It
may be true that he did take your virginity; that is an error you made in the
past but it doesn’t have to be your present. You may not have a physical
virginity to offer any more but you have you and all the beautiful aspects of
you to offer. Repackage your life; regain your respect, carry yourself with
dignity, upgrade yourself and rebuild your confidence; you still have a lot to
offer.
Lie 4: Maybe I need to
compromise myself/my standards
This
lie usually affects those who held on to their standards of sexual purity and
were jilted severally by guys who only wanted to sleep with them and guys who
lack self control/a value for sexual purity. At some point, such a lady begins
to think she should bend her principles to get and keep a man, especially if a
lot of people she knew who had been sexually promiscuous or licentious are now
married.
Lie 5: May be I should
just manage the next guy who comes
This
lie plagues ladies who have been jilted repeatedly and now age is “not on their
side” so they think “I’ll just manage the next guy that comes”. Hello sis!
Don’t even try that. You don’t need someone you will manage; you need someone
who you delight in; someone who is suitable for you. Look around and see all
the terrible marriages around you which started based on “let me manage him”
and you’ll see why this is a dumb move.
Believe the Truth
Instead
A
lie is still a lie, no matter how it sounds. It is designed to mislead you into
believing and acting on falsehood. The truth is that:
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made (psalm 139:14); a unique blend of character traits, made by God, suitable to be a future help for someone and a light to your world.
- None shall lack her mate (Isaiah 34:16); at the appointed time, after God has groomed you, he will bring unto you the one who will forever worship God for blessing him with you and cherish, appreciate as well as celebrate you.
- If God gave Rahab the prostitute and Ruth the Moabite widow (both women were not virgins remember) husbands from his sons in Israel because they identified and chose him as their God, he will do the same for you.
Let God be true, but every man a liar. It doesn’t matter what it presently looks like, only God’s word (the one who holds your tomorrow) over you is true. May God heal you from all these lies and empower you to believe the truth that sets you free.
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Are
you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship
matters and life in general? E-mail me
on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.