Handling Sexual Harassment at Work

Almost every lady has experienced some form of sexual harassment. Ranging from mild to high level sexual harassment, ladies of all ages have experienced this in informal circles and also at work. Making sexual advances at a woman is not a crime; however, when such advances persist despite rejecting them and giving stern warnings that it should stop, it becomes sexual harassment.

Merriam-webster.com defines sexual harassment as uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behaviour of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate (as an employee or student). To read more about sexual harassment, click here.

If you’re currently facing sexual harassment at work, this post is for you. I trust that will find it more than helpful. Happy reading!!!

Check Yourself

I am not here to accuse you of being the cause of what you’re facing. I’m well aware that there are men who will come after you, even if you’re always dressed in a boubou. But the truth is, there are some clothes that are too sexy for the workplace. Some of these clothes may not even expose your vital body parts but are so fitted that they still produce the same effect of turning your colleagues on. So before we witch hunt the guys, let’s check ourselves. I know you love to look fly as I do and sometimes we say to ourselves “can’t they just not look???” but sis, these guys are not blind, plus you’re fearfully, wonderfully and sexily made so you can’t blame them. If you’re always facing sexual harassment everywhere you work, then it’s most likely that you need to look into your dressing. There are smart dresses that make you look beautiful without inviting harassment. Get them and use them.   

Just Say No

There is no need to make a fuss about the sexual advances your colleague or boss are making. There is no need to insult them either or turn it to a public announcement in your office by telling everyone who cares to listen. Just say NO. Let the person know that you’re not interested, not now and not in the future. The tone and manner in which you say this is important, so as not to sound arrogant, disrespectful or like you’re giving him an indirect yes. If it’s coming from your boss, be respectful as you say that. Let him know that with all due respect, you’re not interested. Simple!

Avoid Precarious Situations

As much as you possible, avoid situations of proximity where you’re alone with your harasser. This will diminish the chances he has to harass you the more or even try to take it further by touching you or trying to force himself on you. Don’t set yourself up. If it’s coming from your boss and he’s always inviting you to his office alone at odd hours, don’t show up. With time, he will get the message. It’s better to be scolded for not showing up than to fall prey (this is especially important if you’re bodily smaller than the man so that it doesn’t move from sexual harassment to rape).

Be Firm

Don’t beg; don’t remind him that he is married (in case he is) cuz he already knows that. Just stick to your answer and with a no-smiling face, politely let him know your stand and ask him to respect your decision.

Do Something

If after all these, the harassment continues, then it’s time to do something about it. Here are a few things you can do:

• Resign: If he’s making your stay at work a living hell and threatening to set you up or do something drastic if you don’t give in, resign. God is able to take you to a better place. You will get another job.
• Write an anonymous letter to his wife: Don’t go to her directly. Just get someone to write an anonymous letter telling her to warn her husband to stop harassing ladies in his office or better still, get someone to call her phone and give her this message. Believe me, this would work like magic. He may suspect that you’re behind it, but since he has no proof, he can’t pin it on you. He will accuse you of trying to spoil his marriage but the harassment will end there. Most importantly, do not threaten to tell his wife before you make this move - you will only be shooting yourself in the leg; just go ahead and do it. 
• Activate the Spiritual: Proverbs 21:1 says the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turns it wherever he wills. Your boss is not above God; God is able to touch his heart and take his mind off harassing you or better still, give you the wisdom to navigate the situation. Talk to God in prayer and ask him to remove every sexual lust in the man’s heart for you and make him see you as his sister. I highly recommend this because, by experience, I know that God is able to do this.   

P:S – Share this post with someone. You don’t know whose life you will end up blessing. You may not be facing sexual harassment but someone else may be walking through that tunnel right now.    

Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

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Work-Place Wisdom

No man is an island; to successfully work with others, you need wisdom!!!

The working environment is quite different and has its own rules and etiquette. To successfully work there, you need wisdom and plenty of it; otherwise you’ll get into a lot of tight corners that will most likely affect you badly. Proverbs 4:7 says: “wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom…” In plain English, wisdom is simply knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it and when not to take action. Today, I’ll be sharing a few tit-bits that will help you act with wisdom while you work, just five of them actually. More tit bits will come in future posts so stay hooked to the blog to get them all.

#1-Dress the Part

In acting, actors don’t get to dress randomly; they have to dress according to the part their playing per time as the script demands. The same thing applies to you. There’s a difference between the work place and any other place. I’m sure you do understand that you should dress according to your office’s sector or industry, but it is also important to dress modestly and moderately. You’re not going for a wedding, a party or any other informal event. Avoid loud jewelry (except your work demands it) and provocative outfits that will end up distracting or harassing your co-workers. They came to work too, not to have a sneak-peep of your “assets” and watch soft porn. Except if you’re a hooker on a mission to get customers and you are in need of sexual harassment from your colleagues and your superiors.

#2- Give it Your Bestest Shot

Yep! If your goal is to soar high in your life, you must give not just your best, but your “bestest” in everything you do, including your work. Every action is a seed, and you’ll surely reap a harvest in due time. Don’t let the fact that your present pay check is not much deter you. Let excellence be your watch word. Someday quite soon, your excellence will get you a referral that will take you to the next level in your career.

#3-Go With Your Shock Absorbers

Oh yeah, just like the shock absorbers found in a car, you need to take your emotional shock absorbers to work with you. Be prepared for anything the day at work may bring. As much as we wish that things will always go smoothly, sometimes, crazy things happen at work. Be prepared for any nasty attitudes your co-workers, customers and superiors may exhibit at work and you won’t be thrown off balance when things go wrong. That’s what shock absorbers are meant for: to absorb shock and make the impact less harmful.

#4-Be on Top of Your Game 

Don’t be a figure head; strive to be the best at what you do. Get information that will make you better and what you do and apply it. Use the internet, google it if you have to. Expand your usefulness overtime. As the years advance, you should be better at what you do; not the same as or worse than you were years ago. Look for better, effective and modern ways to do what you do and soon, you’ll reap the dividends.

#5-Leave Personal Problems at Home 

I admit this is not easy but it is not impossible either. It’s quite hard to focus on work when something is eating you up and your heart is breaking to pieces. But, it’s necessary for you to find a way to ensure that your personal problems don’t begin to affect you at work. Get emotional management skills; learn to mentally leave your issues at home. How? Watch your thought patterns, block out all thoughts that related to your personal issues, let your thoughts dwell on the task at hand instead. See a counselor, confide in someone that can help if you have to. Ask for grace and pray it out. Whatever it is that will restore your peace of mind, that isn’t harmful or negative, do it to make sure your effectiveness at work is not affected.

Happy Sunday and have an awesome working week.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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