5 Signs He’s Not the Man for You

Hello Sis,

How’s the cold weather treating you? Hope it’s not causing you any trouble. I’m enjoying the weather cuz this is my favourite season of the year. You know why? It does my complexion much good *wink*. Today’s post is dedicated to all those ladies who are already in a relationship and don’t know for sure if you’re with the right man. Not to worry. Here are 5 signs that will help you know if the man you’re with is good for you or not.

#1 -   He can’t handle your weaknesses

Every human on the earth has weaknesses. The right man for you is specially graced by God and experiences to handle, tolerate and love you with your weaknesses. He will be kind to you and patient with you in the areas of your weaknesses as he encourages you to get better. Your weaknesses are not a deal breaker for him. He knows them well and accepts you the way you are. He even adapts to you by becoming a help in the area of your weakness. For instance, if he knows your weakness is late coming, he devices ways to ensure you come early by waking up hours ahead and when you occasionally slip, he won’t kill you for it.

#2 -   He can’t handle your dreams

If you’re an ambitious woman or a woman with dreams, the right man for you is one who celebrates and supports your dreams. He is not threatened or intimidated by what you have achieved or will achieve. He constantly finds ways to support the advancement of your dreams. The wrong man for you is anyone who has a preset view on what a woman should do and is trying to remake you into his dream woman. For example, some men believe a woman shouldn’t work; others believe she should leave whatever she is doing and manage one of his business outlets, become a nurse or anything that he chooses. They have no respect or regard for your dreams/purpose. If you value your dreams, you shouldn’t be with such a man because he will just end up choking you to death.

#3 – He can’t handle your temperament

Everyone has a temperament; some other people call it personality. The wrong man always complains about the things in your temperament that makes you who you are. God made us all who we are. Our background and experiences also contributes to who we are. When I say temperament here, I mean those aspects of you that are natural or core to you. For instance, if you’re a naturally reserved person, the wrong man for you is one who complains that you’re too quiet. If he wants a boisterous person, he should simply go for one! If you’re a lively person, the wrong man is one who complains that you’re too lively. The right man loves you the way you are; whether you’re lively or reserved. He may complain if you take it out of proportion, but he basically accepts you as you are.

#4 – Fans you into foolishness

The wrong man for you is any man who encourages you to do stupid and foolish things that are against your personal principles and bring out the worst in you. If he always unconsciously or consciously brings out the worst in you, he is not good for you. Check your life since you met him; has he brought out the best, the worst or the foolishness in you? The answer will tell you if he is the man for you or not.

#5 – Does not contribute to your improvement

Iron sharpens iron; the right man’s presence in your life over time will make you a better, more refined, more fruitful woman. A man of worth will add to you tremendously with time and I’m not referring to money. If all he is contributed to your life so far is getting you addicted to booze, clubbing, sex, twerking etc., sister, he’s not good for you.

Please note that every man is good, but not every man is good for you as a person. You may like him a lot and he may love you to pieces but you may both be unsuitable for each other. Water and fire are good individually. However, both do not mix because one quenches the other. The wrong man may not be bad or nasty as a person but when the two of you come together, the combination is unsuitable or sometimes lethal. When you let go of the wrong man, you open the door for God to lead you to the right one.

P:S – Over to you dear reader. Can you think of any other signs? Add them in the comments section. 

Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

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Handling Spiritual Fatigue

Yes oo! It is possible to suffer from spiritual fatigue, just as we suffer from physical fatigue. Spiritual fatigue is that point you get to where engaging in spiritual activities becomes cumbersome, difficult and uninteresting. In other words, it’s fatigue of the soul that makes engaging in spiritual activities difficult. Here on sister 2 sister, we’re not only concerned about your relationships or your career, we’re also interested in your spiritual life and its vitality. So how can you know you’re spiritually fatigued? See if any of these apply to you.

Signs of Spiritual Fatigue

- You feel like leaving the earth and its troubles behind.

- You’re tired of upholding everyone in prayers.

- Prayer and church have become burdensome.

- You constantly want to get away from everything and rest.

- You’re tired of moving from trial to trial.

Causes of Spiritual Fatigue

Here are a few major causes of spiritual fatigue:

- Pending/unfulfilled expectations (that’s the reason why ……. says “hope deferred makes the heart sick”).

- Too many trials, troubles and challenges happening simultaneously over a period of time.

- Going from task to task for a long period without partaking in any spiritually refreshing and renewing activities such as a worship service or church programme. 

So How Do I Handle It?

#1 – A Personal Retreat

The best way to handle spiritual fatigue is to take a short time out (maybe a day or a weekend) for a personal retreat. If you work all week, a weekend will be better for you. Find a quiet place that will allow you have time alone with God. Turn off your phone and take quality time to thank God and worship him. 

Make a list of all the good things God has done for you and your family so it can motivate you to praise God even more. Write out a list of all the things bothering your mind and lift them up to God in prayer. Ask God to take away the burden of these things, fill your heart with his peace and restore your soul and spirit. Keep worshiping God in songs until you get to that point where you feel his peace and strength return to your soul.

#2 – Listen to a Message/ Song Relevant to your Situation

This is useful on a daily basis. You should always have audio and video messages on the word of God on your phone alongside beautiful worship songs. They always come handy for reviving your soul daily. Pick the one to listen to per day as you’re led in your spirit and you’ll be amazed at how spiritual fatigue will fly out from your soul.

#3 – Attend a Worship Service or a Programme in your Church

Just as a piece of charcoal gradually losing its fire can be revived by being placed amidst other pieces of charcoal which are ablaze, worshiping God with other believers is a quick way to regain your spiritual fire. At first, it may seem hard to connect with the flow of worship but if your heart is sincere and you put your whole being into worshiping God at the service, your fire for worship will be restored in no time. You will definitely leave the service refreshed and fatigueless. 

#4 – Get a Friend who Believes in Jesus to Pray with You

This applies especially when spiritual fatigue is as a result of too many unfulfilled expectations and too many trials/challenges. ….. says “if two of you shall agree on anything in my name, it shall be done by my father in heaven”. As two of you lift up those issues bothering you unto God, you are making a prayer of agreement that God is faithful to answer. He will lighten your burden and restore your spiritual strength.

Make it a Habit

Spiritual fatigue is something you will experience more than once in your lifetime and walk with God. Make all these a habit and by the grace of God, you will make it out of every situation without losing your spiritual fire in God. Xoxo.

P:S Do you have any questions or comments about this blogpost? Do you need counsel concerning relationships? Do you have any private issues you want to raise? Would you like to be featured as a guest blogger here? Would you like to advertise with us? Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status?Keep your fingers crossed.

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here.

Have you heard???

The blog now has an online radio show on riecho.net. You can also listen to the show on www.hulkshare.com/sister2sisternigeria

Check out both sites to listen to the show for yourself. You can also download our online radio show file when you listen on hulkshare.com

Feel free to send in your comments on our online radio show by email on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

Or sister2sisternigeria@gmail.com

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Is He Your Boyfriend or a Thorn in Your Flesh???

The identity of a tree is known not only by how it looks, but by the fruit it bears.

Shout out to all my dream/vision chasers reading this post; keep chasing those dreams for that is the only way to stand out in life. Today’s post is dedicated to all those who are in love or dating someone presently. In the context of this blogpost, when I say “boyfriend”, I mean a guy you’re dating okay so let’s not get things mixed up. Ehen! Sister mi, let’s do some soul searching together; let’s take stock of that relationship you’re in to be sure you’re on the right track and not headed for a disaster. That guy you’re dating, is he really your friend or is he a thorn in your flesh??? Ehn Ehn, I didn’t ask you if you love him or if he loves you; it’s a question of his effect in your life or why do you think Matthew 7:16 says “by their fruits you shall know them…”? I’ll walk you through some things that will help you think properly and decipher if he’s really your boyfriend or a thorn in your flesh so you’ll know what to do. So sit tight, make yourself comfortable and scroll down to read more.

Boyfriend vs Thorn

A friend is someone you enjoy being with who helps you, supports you and adds value to your life. A thorn is someone who constantly hurts you, chokes you, makes life uncomfortable and unbearable for you to the point that you can’t focus properly in life. Now you know what these are, the question is: is he supporting you and adding value to your life or is he doing the opposite as well as hurting, choking, and making life unbearable for you? If you can thoughtfully and truthfully provide answers to these, you’ll be able to tell if he’s your friend or a thorn in your flesh. 

Signs that he’s indeed a boy friend

Remember girl, the compound word “boyfriend” is made up of “boy” (which signifies his gender) and “friend” (which signifies that he is a friend not just in name but in actions). Here are a few signs that he is indeed a friend:

• He accepts you for who you are but encourages you to be better,

• He supports your dreams and aspirations with encouragement and otherwise,

• He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a loving manner,

• Since he came into your life, you have improved in many ways and you’re still improving,

• When you think about a future with him, you’re not scared.

Signs that he’s a thorn in your flesh

Thorns are plants, just like any other plant formed by God. Why they were made, I do not know; but they exist anyway. If you’ve ever been pierced by a thorn, you know just how “sweet” romance with a thorn can be. Here are a few signs that you’re dating a thorn:

• He likes you but doesn’t accept you for who you; he constantly nags you to change not for the better but to become someone he has in mind,

• He doesn’t support your dreams and aspirations but wants you to give them up if you really love him,

• He points out areas of your life you need to improve upon in a destructive, belittling, and demeaning manner,

• Since he came into your life, people say you’re a shadow of yourself; all you’ve become is a fearful puppet he controls with threats and so on,

• When you think about a future with him, you’re SCARED and hoping he would change someday. 

Which one is he?

All I’ve done is showing you the signs, now you should be able to tell which one he is. If you discover that you’re dating a boyfriend who is truly a friend, congratulations! I’m happy for you and I hope it leads to something better. But if you discover you’re dating a thorn in flesh disguised as a boyfriend, oh girl, YOU’RE IN AN EMERGENCY. 

How long will you endure the piercings of a thorn? Until it destroys you completely abi? Okay ooooo. She who drinks poison in a bottle of coke praying and hoping that it doesn’t hurt or kill her eventually is either mad, blind or on a suicide mission and I’d like to believe you’re not. A word, they say, is enough for the wise. Xoxo

P.S- If you’re reading this and you’re a guy, the same thing applies to you big time. Click view web version to see the wonderful features of the blog that are exclusive to the desk-top version. Have a sweet week.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

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12 Signs You’re Not Ready For Marriage PT 2

This is a sequel to a post I did months ago on this blog. In the previous post, I shared the first six signs that show you’re not ready for marriage and today, I’ll be sharing the remaining six signs. To view the first part of this blogpost, click here. Without much ado, let’s dive into it.

#7- You’re not Ready to Take S**t

 You remember all those rantings of yours that sound like this “I’m not going to take s**t from anyone oooo” and “if my husband/wife tries that eh, I’ll beat the hell out of him/her or give it to him fire for fire”? Those things are what single people say until they get married and discover that to stay married, you have to learn to be tolerant and that involves putting up with a lot of s**t from your spouse, in-laws and even your kids. No one is perfect on this side of the universe, everybody comes with a dose of s**t that they dish out from time to time. People who are ready to get married learn to live with such.

#8- You’re Waiting for A Perfect Man

Oya ooo, no shoot me abeg. I know you want to find the man that is perfect for you but that is different from wanting to find a perfect man. There is no perfect man or woman anywhere, waiting to find one will have you waiting for eternity. Everyone, as good as they are, comes with weaknesses and if you take them, you must take them with both their good and not so good sides. In case you’ve forgotten, you’re not perfect yourself.

#9- You’re Not Ready to be Responsible

Why do you think they use the phrase “settle down” to refer to marriage? Because marriage is for mature people and it requires you being responsible. You’ve got to be ready to have and raise kids, handle the bills and attend to all the responsibilities that come with marriage. It’s not enough to be called the man or woman of the house, you gotta act like one. Your spouse, kids, family and even in-laws start looking up to you when you get married and you gotta be prepared to act accordingly.

#10- Not Ready To Be Faithful

Now this one is a biggie. One of the core demands of marriage is faithfulness. No one likes their spouse cheating on them. If you’re planning to have your cake and eat it in marriage by being unfaithful then you’re definitely not ready for marriage. And before you start complaining about how hard it is to stay married to the same person for life and be faithful, ask those who have gone ahead of you and they’ll give you useful tips.

#11- Not Ready To Be Open

If you’re planning to get married and not be open, you’ll be starting on a wrong footing. While you may want to cite stories of people who tried to be open to their spouses and it only brought trouble, why not focus on your life and leave other peoples ish alone instead. It is in your power while dating/courting to learn how to be open and encourage your would-be spouse to be open. It is only people who have and intend to have more skeletons in their cupboard that go into marriage seeking to hide stuff and keep secrets.

#12- You Have Trust Issues and Can’t Control Your Jealousy 

No relationship or marriage can succeed where trust is broken. If you have trust issues, get the needed help so you can learn to trust again. All that excessive display of jealousy will only weary out whoever you’re with. You can’t tie your spouse down in marriage or stop him/her from relating with the oppose sex. You guys will have to move to Mars or Jupiter where there is no other human being. The ability to trust and control your jealousy is a hallmark of maturity that you must have for a successful marriage.

Voila! C’est fini! Now that you’ve read all the twelve signs that show that you’re not ready for marriage, do some soul searching to remove the beam in your eyes while I do likewise. God help us all.

P.S: Stinginess is when you read this and refuse to share it with those you know. Foolishness is when you read it and don’t apply it to your life. Wickedness is when you don’t tell someone how much you’ve been blessed so far by this blog. And I know you’re not stingy, foolish or wicked. Xoxo

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