Twists and Turns-Episode 5

Episode 5

 Iye rubbed her face as she took a last glance at the mirror. She smiled in satisfaction at herself. Her long gown was just the perfect size for her. She didn't want to look too flashy neither did she want to look needy but she loved the simple but sweet look she had achieved. She turned to her friends. "How do I look?"
"Well I thought you wouldn't ask but trust me I would have commented. So tell us, who is this guy you are trying to look perfect for and hey! Is that a stint of blush on your cheek, wow! She has totally fallen for him." Tamuno said laughing. Iye shook her head and smiled. "Tamuno, one problem you have is that you assume a lot and most times your assumptions are wrong and usually they leave you in regrets."
"So who are you doing all these for?" She asked eagerly.
"Tamuno have you forgotten that she goes to see her daughter every last Tuesday of the month and today is her birthday so she needs to be happy and look good." Bukky explained and Tamuno's shoulders drooped.
"Oh my God! I am so sorry! Wow, happy birthday to her. Why didn't you tell me so I could get my gift ready huh! Well I only wish for you to have a man that will take care of you not that jerk. He does not deserve anything good in his life and...”  Tamuno!!! Thank you ehn, please stop the insults I beg. You know the only thing that is keeping me quiet is my child. I have prayed every prayer I know just to have my baby with me but I guess I have to make do with what I have" She said sadly.
"Oh common! Don't let that bother you okay. I know all will be well." Bukky said even though she was not sure about all being well.

Osas had walked out of her life like she was a piece of trash, he left her feeling she never meant anything to him. She felt like a fool and it hurt to see the man you love flaunting another girl in front of you. She heard of his new girl and couldn't believe he had gotten over her in such a short while. It turns out life has played a cruel joke on her but she was not laughing at all. She wished her friend could find a good man to marry her and help take back her daughter from that beast…

They waved Iye good bye until she was out if sight.
Iye stepped out of the taxi that drove her to the two bedroom flat. She walked to the balcony where she met his neighbor…" Good afternoon ma." Iye greeted the woman.
"Welcome my dear, you come see your princess abi?"
"Yes ma, today is her birthday. I didn't come last month and I waited for today to surprise her. Let me go and see my baby." She said excitedly walking towards the door.
"Em... My dear wait." The woman called and Iye stopped in her tracks.
"Yes ma, you called me. It's like they are not even at home now." She said eyeing the padlock on the door with a dampened spirit. She had hoped that she would meet them at home or at least, to meet her not him. They always had issues to discuss whenever she came around and she was not ready for that now. All she wanted was to have great fun with her daughter.
"Baba Angel been know say you dey come before?" The woman asked in pidgin English.
"Yes now, he knows this is my day of visitation." She said wondering why she should be questioned. "Hope all is well ma."                                                     " My dear, talk dey. Make you no just spoil body you hear." The woman explained.
"Ma please, don't be silent. If you have anything to say to me please do." She said with quivering lips. A sudden fear had come on her as she tried to imagine the worst and what will happen if she loses her daughter.
"OK then, the thing be say your oga don carry Angel travel."
Iye started to shake her head. "Angel! Travelled? To where? He never mentioned that they would be travelling and oh my God! "She scratched her head in confusion. " My baby had better be okay if not, he will see the worst part of me." She said shaking in fury. The older woman just looked at her as if she was merely watching a movie.
"Em...please ma, do you have an idea of where they went?" She asked after several attempts to call his number.
"Na one madam place o. E be like say Angel go dey live for there now. The madam get money well well and so them been dey find person wey go dey stay with them as e be say all them children no dey inside we country again." She explained feeling no remorse. She assumed Iye was pretending not to know the truth.
"So my daughter is another woman's house help eh?!"
"Hmm! Na the name wey I been hear be that. You sabi book well well, I even...Aunty you don dey go? Make you look road well o." The woman called after her but she was past caring what happens next as she walked off in anger like a lioness whose cubs had been stolen.
"My baby is now a house help? How could he do this to me? I thought he was capable of taking care of her? Who knows if those people will remember or care if it's her birthday?" She soliloquized.
"Hey lady, get off the road." Someone yelled but she didn't hear until the car screeched with a loud noise and stopped. Her body reacted with shock and she stood still until a passerby yanked her off the road.
"Iye are you okay?"
She turned towards to a familiar voice. "Mark!"

To be continued…

The story continues next Tuesday. Keep a date with us. 

Read older episodes below

Episode 1 2 3 4 

 

Pheobe Omiwole is a motivational speaker and a talented writer who uses her pen and voice to affect the world and the lives of men. She also has a personal blog where she writes really inspiring stuff. Check out her blog on  http://www.pheobeomiwole.WordPress.com 

Taking the Ex Back: Yay or Nay?

The Ex-syndrome reminds us all that things don’t always turn out the way we hope, no matter how hard we try…Selah.

Finally, ghost mode is up and I’m out of the little hibernating mode I switched to; here comes the thought that ends up becoming the post you’re about to read…”when an ex returns, should we take them back”??? I smiled to myself when this thought came because if this were to be the subject of a debate, it would sure be an interesting one. Maybe we should have it as a debate here, or what do you think? Don’t mind me, I kinda love debates and hearing people’s views on matters like this so I can learn more, you know what I mean *wink*. No matter what anyone says, the truth is that you alone have to decide whether or not to take back an ex into your life again. I’m guessing you do know what an ex is; but just in case you don’t, an ex is someone you dated and, for whatever reason, broke up with.

Before you consider taking an ex back, you should consider three things:

•     Why did the ex leave in the first place or why did the relationship come to an end?

• ·        Why is the ex coming back?

• ·        Can I get over the past and start afresh with him?

Now let’s consider these questions one after the other?

Why Did the Ex Leave / Why Did the Relationship Come to an End?

The answer to this question is a veeeeerrrryyyyy important factor in choosing whether or not to take back an ex. Did the ex leave because…

• He didn’t like your physique or mannerisms?
• He didn’t like your dreams, goals, aspirations?
• You guys couldn’t understand each other or you were not compatible?
• You guys were young, immature and still trying to sow wild oats or “enjoy life”?

Did the relationship end because…

• One person moved to a different area and distance took its toll or you both lost contact?
• There was cheating and infidelity?
• He was verbally, emotionally or physically abusive?
• It was a relationship “just the fun of it” and someone got tired and moved on?
•  You wanted much more out of life, a “better guy”?
•  You guys changed sooo much with time that your compatibility ratio dropped?
• Your chosen paths in life clashed and it created discomfort because you no longer “fit” each other which eventually led to a break up?
• You got tired of being “sick and tired” and putting up with all his shenanigans?

Answer these questions as sincerely as possible to help you know the next line of action to take.

Why is the Ex Coming Back?

Remember he left in the first place? There must have been a reason for that, so now that he’s coming back again, what are his reasons?  Remember the relationship ended for a reason. Ask yourself these questions or better still, ask him these questions to find out why he’s back.

• Is he back because he’s been around and can’t find another girl like you?
• He’s realized that he was wrong to let you go?
• He’s a back because he’s now a changed man or a more mature man?

Listen carefully to whatever answers he gives to you. If he’s says he’s back because he realized he was wrong to let you go and can’t find another girl like you, be careful. As flattering as that sounds, that is not the main issue. You should be concerned about knowing if the other issues that led to the break up have been dealt with otherwise, you’ll just be that “mugu chick” (senseless chick), the only one on whom he can dump all his shenanigans and if that’s the case, get ready for the reloaded version of your first relationship.

Is he a changed man? Not just because he says he’s changed but because you can see a change in him. If he says he’s back because he’s now a changed or more mature man, watch out to see proof of this. Actions, they say, speak louder than words. What kind of man has he become? Remember a lot of water has passed under the bridge and both of you are not exactly the same people you were before.

Can I Get Over the Past and Start Afresh with Him?

Now this question is the most crucial part and you should only ask yourself this if you’ve answered the previous questions. Remember, you guys had a history together and despite the fact that you’ve forgiven him, you haven’t lost your memory. Most likely, you can still remember details of what happened in the past. The truth is: yesterday is different from today. If you intend you take him back, you must get help (counseling or otherwise) to dispose all the baggage from your first relationship and ensure you’re healed from the pain of the break up otherwise your new relationship with him will be doomed from the start. Failure to completely let go of the past will be like serving last year’s bread with this year’s tea and butter and hoping it turns out right; that’s a complete recipe for disaster. You should also ask yourself these questions:

• Are we now both mature enough for us to enjoy a better relationship?
•  Does he fit into my present life, who I am and where I am going?
• Can we accept each other’s lives, mannerisms and tendencies the way we are now?
• In case the old drama repeats itself, can I go through it all over again?

My advice: you should only take an ex back if he’s truly changed, not because he told you he’s changed or he’s making some camouflage changes just to get you again. If he’s truly become a more mature/better man now, you may consider taking him back. However, you must make sure you’ve dealt with the old baggage of whatever happened in your first relationship with him and put it all behind you. Otherwise, the ghosts of your first relationship with him will destroy this new relationship. Would I take an ex back? Hehehehe, that’s for me to decide. You decide what you would do. xoxo

What say you? Should we or should we not take back???

P:S- If you’ve got anything private you may wish to discuss, you could email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com I had a nice time at the Word WYN ladies conference, Gwagwalada, Abuja. Maybe I’ll get around to sharing some helpful excerpts here. Have an exciting weekend.

3 Things You Need To Get Before You Get a Man…

Shout out to all the wonderful people reading this!!!

Before I get into the post of the day, I’d like to say a huge thank you to the readers of my blog. You make me know I’m not wasting my time or energy. I guarantee you; it’ll only get better as the days pass by. Now, to the post of the day…

Have you ever heard the phrase “Get a Life”? Well, this phrase is a very important one. On the staircase of life, some steps come before others. Even when we describe the steps to getting or doing something, there’s always a step 1, then a step 2 and other relevant steps. No one moves from the cradle to the university. You first have to go through kindergarten / nursery school. In the same way, before you think of getting a man/boyfriend or getting into a serious relationship, there are some things you need to get or do first.

1) Discover Who You Are

It’s important you get to understand who you are before you hook up with anyone. Self-discovery doesn’t come in one day. We discover who we are overtime. Get to know your likes, dislikes, preferences, preferences in a man, deal breakers (things you can’t take in a relationship), weaknesses, boiling points, temperament plus the kind of woman you are. When you discover who you are, it becomes easier to know what kind of man will suit you best.

2) Discover Your Career Path, Purpose or Destiny

What career path will you be taking? What’s your purpose or destiny? You need to have an idea of these. Why? It helps the man coming into your life know if he can accept you knowing fully well that you’ll be doing those things. What one man can handle may be unbearable for another man. What’s more? It saves you the stress of starting a relationship and breaking up simply because he’s not comfortable with your career/purpose.

3) Understand What a Relationship Entails

Getting into a relationship has its own demands, rules and all. You need to understand these and be sure you’re ready for such before you get into one. 

While You Wait, Get a Life

I can’t emphasize this enough. Don’t loaf around like someone with no future just waiting for a man to come and rescue you. Be useful, add value to yourself.  No man wants a “useless” woman (no offence meant; “useless” here refers to one who is not useful for anything) and you don’t wanna become a liability eventually. While you wait, use your life and strengths well. Get a career, get that education, start that business, be good at what you do. Pursue the path of continuous self-improvement, improve your culinary skills.

The Irony of Life

In this time and age we’re in, with all the stuff we see around us and on TV, when we’re young, all we wanna do is jump into a relationship. So, we grab the nearest person who looks cute enough and fulfills our fantasy so we can proudly blab to our peers about the relationship we’re in. But if you’re done with all that hopping from one relationship to the other and you’re finally taking your life and future seriously, then you need to get these three things before you get a man. xoxo

P.S: Stinginess is when you read this and refuse to share it with those you know. Foolishness is when you read it and don’t apply it to your life. Wickedness is when you don’t tell someone how much you’ve been blessed so far by this blog. And I know you’re not stingy, foolish or wicked. xoxo

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister Nigeria

NowThat You’re Single Again…

Shout out to all those who just became single recently.  

Being in a relationship has its good and fun side. It also has its benefits: someone to laugh with, a shoulder to cry one, someone who loves and cares for you, the hangouts, the fun moments, the precious memories and all. What’s more, the Bible even says “two are better than one…” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Truth be told, most of us would naturally pick being in a relationship than being single. 

So you’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a while (months or maybe even years) and things were going smoothly. But somehow, something happened and you’re back to square one: you’re now single. Whether or not the reason for the end of the relationship was caused by you, becoming single after being in a relationship for a while feels like losing the use of your legs due to an accident and having to re-learn how to walk again. No more calls/texts, no more hangouts, no more affection from the person etc. If you’re not careful, you could hook up with anyone who comes your way just to numb the emptiness you feel due to your present single status. But is this the solution?

Before we talk about the solution, let’s look at a few things you may be experiencing now that you’re single:

Mood Swings: Yea, yea! The more you think about the relationship, the good and bad times you had, the reasons for the break up or death of the relationship, your emotions enter a roller coaster and you start having mood swings. You find yourself happy at one moment and sad the next moment.

Anger and Bitterness: When you began that relationship, you had high hopes that it would last and now it’s broken. You may find yourself feeling angry and bitter over wasted time especially if you were not the cause of the break-up.

Fear: “Once beaten, twice shy” goes a popular English saying. Depending on the circumstances that led to your present single state, you may find yourself feeling afraid of having to go through the dating game and find a new person.

Tired of Relationships: Depending on the things you went through in the last relationship, you may find yourself completely tired and wanting nothing to do with having a relationship.

What’s the First Step?

Now that you’re single again, what’s the first step? ALLOW YOURSELF TO HEAL. Do not be in a haste to date anyone new. Have a good cry. Cry out your pain till you feel better. Research shows that crying does a lot of good by helping you release pent up emotions. Do a post-mortem on the relationship. Think through and see where and how things deteriorated before you eventually broke up. Find out where you got it wrong so when you eventually have another relationship, you may get it right. 

If you ask me, I’ll suggest you stay six months to one year before you plunge into another relationship. Why? So your heart can heal well enough. Otherwise, you’ll just carry baggage from the past and end up destroying the new relationship.

Hold on Girl! It Gets Easier as Each Day Passes

I know it doesn’t look like that now, but the truth is, time does heal wounds…but only when you take time to bind and treat those wounds. All the hurt and anger you feel towards the male folk will fade away with time. You’ll learn to love again, only if you give yourself time to heal. Take one day at a time. You’ll get stronger as the day passes.

Are you single because he died? May God comfort you. Asking God why he allowed him die will only make you more miserable than you should be. Take rest in Romans 8:28 “…all things (even things that hurt us and things we never expected) work together for good to them that love God…” Even though it doesn’t look like it now, all things are working together for your good.

P.S: Do you know anyone who just became single again? Share this post with them. They’ll be glad you did. xoxo

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page: Sister 2 Sister Nigeria.

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Mirror! Mirror! On the wall....

If you've been around for a while, then you must have discovered that there are many kinds of mirrors.

Some make you look fatter than you really are (I hate this kind). Some make you look slimmer. Others make you look fairer or darker than you really are. Some give the exact reflection/image of you.

A mirror is designed to give the reflection of an image and what you see in the mirror depends to a large extent on which kind of mirror you're using.

In life, there are so many mirrors:
1) Family and Friends
2) Critics
3) Fans or supporters
4) Mentors
5) The past
6) Circumstances / status quo
7) The Word of God

The truest amongst these mirrors is the Word of God. It has the ability to show you who you truly are, show you your future, correct your eye sight (perception of yourself) if it's wrong and transform you every time you look at it (My oh my! The best mirror ever).

How often do you look into it???
2 Corinthians 3:18 "But we all, with unveiled
face, beholding as in a mirror
the glory of the Lord, are being
transformed into the same
image from glory to glory, just
as by the Spirit of the Lord."