How to Spot THE MAN 2

MAN TO WOMAN

Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu shares 6 more tips on how to spot the man. Juicy tips, I tell you. Read and share with someone around you. 

How to Spot THE MAN 2
Written by Paul Aliyu

This post is a sequel to an earlier post on the same topic. Today, our guest blogger Paul Aliyu shares 6 more ways to spot the man God has for you. To read the previous post, click here. This is one blogpost you need to save on your phone, print out and read it to the point that it sinks into your spirit and your mind. Another thing, do a sister a favour and share this with her. Happy reading.

7. He should be matured enough to recognize you as the “BONE OF HIS BONE” and the “FLESH OF HIS FLESH”
A man that cannot see you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh is not fit for you. Such a man is unhealthy for you. A man that sees you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh will not take advantage of you. He will not see you as a woman to be used and dumped. He will not treat you as a slave or maid. He will understand that you both are one. He will understand that existing without you is like living without life itself. He will show and prove to you that you complete him. He will place so much value on you and know you are meant for him without a doubt.
Until he is able to portray all this to you, then understand that he is not mature enough for you and he lacks understanding that you are God’s will for His life.

A man is called the GROOM on the wedding day because he must have GROOMED himself to understand that you are sent to him by God. His spiritual senses should be sound enough to know and differentiate when the Spirit of God is speaking from when emotion and flesh is speaking. By so doing, you will know when he is from God. It also means that your spiritual senses should also be activated. Don’t be driven by emotions but by the Spirit of God.

8. He should be ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to you as his wife
If he is not ready to leave his father and mother, and cleave to you as his wife, it shows he is not a man yet a man but a big boy. He is not ready for marriage yet. The man for you should be matured enough to make good decisions and handle things on his own that will benefit and profit his wife and the family you are both planning to raise. Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying he shouldn’t seek for counsel sometimes, but he should not be a man that runs to Dad, Mum or friends over every small issue in the relationship or home before making decisions on what to do. If he is that type of a man, I’m sorry to inform you that you are dating an “Omo Mummy (Mummy’s Boy).” I advise you give him some more time to stay behind with his parents and take some more milk (and maybe chew some more bones according to Apostle Paul) before considering marriage.

To cleave means that he understands that as his spouse, you are also a major contributor to every decision process in the house. It means he understands that nothing can be done without involving you as his wife. It also means that he understands that you are his partner and nothing goes forward without your contribution. He gives you room when you want to contribute to his life, vision and the family. He should be a man that values your contribution no matter how minute.
Attention! - With respect to this, every woman should endeavor to grow with her spouse. Bridge the gap between you both so that your contributions can commensurate the now. Try not to be outdated. Update yourself with time!

9. He will not be ashamed of you
A man that is meant for you will not be ashamed of you no matter your vulnerability, weakness, flaws, mistakes, etc. You know he is the man for you when he decides to live with you as his spouse despite all your flaws, and to help you with your weaknesses, help you overcome your fears, correct your mistakes in love and humility, and bring out the best in you. Rather than taking advantage of your flaws, he will seek to use that opportunity to mentor and bring out the best in you. He will see the POTENTIALS rather than the ERRORS or DEFFICIENCIES.

10. He will be ready to wait
The man for you will not be in a rush concerning anything (even sex) except he is in doubt or he isn’t sure you are meant for each other. If he is the one, he will be ready to WAIT. The big question is: if he waited all this while till he found you, what more does it cost him to wait patiently till he makes you his (you get married)??? A man that cannot be patient with you now will not be patient with you after marriage. If he is not ready to wait, let him go; and if he is in doubt, then he is not the man for you.
NOTE: At same time, don’t keep him waiting for too long. If you have prayed and you are sure he is the one for you, go ahead. Delay at times can be dangerous! Avoid unnecessary delay.

11. He will bring you closer to God
You must understand that “whatever is from God returns to God.” Relationships or homes are built by God. Seek and desire a man that will always pull you closer to God. Such a relationship will always lean on God for anything and when God is involve, anything can be resolved. When a man is from God (i.e. he is God’s will), he will always seek for God’s will to be done. You cannot accomplish God’s will outside God. A man from God will support and encourage anything that concerns and represents God in your life and relationship.

12. He will make you be at peace, and feel loved and valued
The gift God gives makes rich and adds no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). The right man will always make you be at peace, secure, loved and convinced in your heart that he’s the one for you. But remember that, “all that glitters is not gold.” As convincing as it may seem, make sure you do it prayerfully and not out of emotions or desperation. The man for you will make you feel valued, loved and peaceful, and priced before his family and friends.

Prepare Yourself Now!!!
A popular Nigerian pidgin idiom goes thus “better soup, na money kill am” meaning “soup that is delicious is the result of the MONEY SPENT on it.” It is also often said that, “nothing good comes easy.”… It is so unfortunate in this present generation that we all want to sleep and wake up the next day with all our needs already served on the table (the already-made generation). Nobody wants to work for anything anymore. We are now in an age where we all want the soup to be super DELICIOUS but we’re not ready to SPEND THE MONEY (as well as time, study, sacrifices, prayers, etc) required. Good things don’t just come; they are worked/prepared for. So also, people now want to dream and wake up the next day and discover their ‘God-sent’ Spouse. It does not work like that; God is not a Magician! “Your PREPARATION will determine HOW WELL you will PASS that EXAMINATION.” Don’t just pray for the right man, BECOME THE RIGHT WOMAN. Work on yourself and on your character so you can become the right woman. Don’t you know that THE MAN also has expectations of what he wants in his wife??? If he can’t see those things in you, he will not make you his wife. May God expand everything you’ve learnt so far and show you how to spot the right man for you and how to become the right woman in Jesus name.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Keep a date with us next WEEK on MAN TO WOMAN as we share a new juicy topic. What will it be? Keep your fingers crossed to find out. 

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 



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How to Spot THE MAN

INTRO
Today, we commence a new column called MAN TO WOMAN which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women. Today's topic is... 

How to Spot THE MAN
Written by Paul Aliyu

The definition of THE MAN in this recent age is a MALE who is above the “teen age”. The question today is, was that God’s perspective or idea of THE MAN when He said, “It is not good for THE MAN to be alone”? WHO and WHAT is the definition of THE MAN God was talking about in this context? If we can have a true understanding of this man, how sweet will our marriages and homes turn out to be! Listen to this: “The fact that he is a MALE does NOT make him THE MAN for you.” So what is the definition and perspective of THE MAN God meant (The Man for you)?

1. Men are not BORN; they are MADE

A man is not the man for you simply because he was born a male. He is the man for you because he has been able to grow himself into a man. Men are first of all born boys then they develop with time into men.

He does not qualify as the man for you because of his age, features or gender. He qualifies as the man for you as a result of what he constitutes mentally, character wise, and his ability to assume and handle the responsibilities of a man. Don’t be so much in a hurry to have the man or else you may end up having a matured boy who calls himself a man who is actually immature and half-baked. Make sure you see those attributes that a man (not a matured boy) should possess in Him. Failure to do so will end you in an immature or premature relationship which can bring about deformity in the relationship or marriage.

2. He will be Real (The Man was formed by God)

When God created man, He formed man. This means He gave him a shape and a structure that made him visible and describable. A man that God has ordained for you will always be real. He will be a man that you can easily define who he is in all ramifications. In other words, he will mean what he says and will say what he means. You will be able to regard him for his words and you will see and take him for WHO HE IS and not WHO HE CLAIMS TO BE.

The man that is meant for you will stand for what he says and take responsibilities for his actions. He will stand for truth, integrity, and honesty so as to live happily with you as the woman of his dreams. The man will not be two-sided or double-faced like the two-sides of a coin. He will be plain and real. His YES will be YES and his NO, NO!

3. He will be God-like (made in the image and likeness of God)

A friend asked me recently, “How do I know if the man is from God? I answered her by asking this question in return: “When you see a man’s child, you know he is the man’s child from the resemblance. Am I right?” she replied “YES!” When God wants to give you (His daughter) a man, He will give you a man that resembles Him. God is interested in giving you His best as His daughter. He will not give to you what will be below His standards. The best standard you can ever get is God’s standard.

The man God has in mind for you is a man that constitutes God’s attributes, nature and character. There is nothing you want in a man that is not in God. So God’s desire for you is for you to have a man that resembles Him; a man that possesses all that you have ever wanted in a man even without telling him (the man). A man made in God’s image and likeness.

NOTE: THE MANUFACTURER (in this case God) will always PRODUCE (give/answer) what will SATISFY the WANTS (taste/prayer points/desires) of the CONSUMER (his sons/daughters); even better that you can ever imagine.

4. He will LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY

God gave the man and the woman different responsibilities in marriage. Man was made to love the wife even unto the point of death. It’s so unfortunate that the WORLD gives a different definition to the LOVE the WORD of God talks about. Does he love you unconditionally, even unto the point of death? Does he get pissed off at your every offense and want to break up without thinking twice? Does he overlook and forgive your offenses? Does his love for you OUTWEIGH all your offenses? If he does not, then you need to have a re-think and possibly give him more time to GROW INTO A MAN before thinking of a relationship or marriage.

5. He must have discovered his God-given purpose

God decided to create the woman for a man so as to be a help-meet to him. Marrying a man who has not found his God-given purpose will amount to just becoming another woman by his side instead of a “help-meet”.

The primary intention of marriage is for two people (Man and Woman) to fulfill a particular assignment. When that assignment is taken off from marriage, marriage ceases to be marriage. Don’t just seek for any man; seek for a man with a purpose (a vision). Just as people perish for lack of vision, a marriage can perish too for lack of it. There is no point being with a man who cannot define why he needs you in his life. It is said that “Where there is no purpose, abuse is inevitable.” Refuse to be in his life just to bear children, cook for him, wash his clothes, for the pleasure of sex alone, etc. You were equipped beyond that! Don’t just try to be a man’s wife, woman, lab-rat or baby factory; rather, desire to be his help-meet. You have a role to play in his life, vision and assignment.

I always say that, the poorest man on earth is a man without a vision or purpose. A man with wealth but without purpose or vision will soon come to poverty. When a man has a vision and purpose, it might only take time to mature and maybe gather resources for execution of that vision but when all is set, the sky will be his spring board. Don’t just get attracted to his wealth, good looks, phonetics, etc but be glued to his vision and God-given assignment. That is the reason you are in his life. He should be RESPONSIBLE and WORKING (with a PURPOSE), busy accomplishing a purpose or birthing a vision that includes a special role for you as his wife the woman of his dreams.

6. God should be his utmost priority

When God created man, He made man out of dust. Man received life after God breathed into him. Man exists because of the breath God breathed into him.  So have this understanding that the good you can find in any man is because of the fear of God in that man. When you take God out of any man, he is bound to do any kind of evil without feeling any guilt for his actions. Take God away from any man and expect any kind of rubbish from him.

The man God plan for you as a woman is a man that sees God as the essence of his existence; a man with the fear of the Lord; a man that is willing to give everything up but not God. The more of God a man has, the more good you see in him. This makes your relationship with such a man peaceful and enjoyable. You are bound to enjoy marriage to a man whose heart is given to God, owned by God and has the fear of God. Run from a man that puts you first before God. Such a man can hurt you without thinking twice because the fear of God is not in him. God should be the most essential part of a man you desire. It is the God in him that makes him the great and loving husband you seek and desire.

To be continued…

Keep a date with us next week as he shares with us more attributes of THE MAN that will make it easier for you to spot the right man for you.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 

 Listen to online radio stations on riecho.net 

Online Radio Portal