5 Signs He’s Not the Man for You

Hello Sis,

How’s the cold weather treating you? Hope it’s not causing you any trouble. I’m enjoying the weather cuz this is my favourite season of the year. You know why? It does my complexion much good *wink*. Today’s post is dedicated to all those ladies who are already in a relationship and don’t know for sure if you’re with the right man. Not to worry. Here are 5 signs that will help you know if the man you’re with is good for you or not.

#1 -   He can’t handle your weaknesses

Every human on the earth has weaknesses. The right man for you is specially graced by God and experiences to handle, tolerate and love you with your weaknesses. He will be kind to you and patient with you in the areas of your weaknesses as he encourages you to get better. Your weaknesses are not a deal breaker for him. He knows them well and accepts you the way you are. He even adapts to you by becoming a help in the area of your weakness. For instance, if he knows your weakness is late coming, he devices ways to ensure you come early by waking up hours ahead and when you occasionally slip, he won’t kill you for it.

#2 -   He can’t handle your dreams

If you’re an ambitious woman or a woman with dreams, the right man for you is one who celebrates and supports your dreams. He is not threatened or intimidated by what you have achieved or will achieve. He constantly finds ways to support the advancement of your dreams. The wrong man for you is anyone who has a preset view on what a woman should do and is trying to remake you into his dream woman. For example, some men believe a woman shouldn’t work; others believe she should leave whatever she is doing and manage one of his business outlets, become a nurse or anything that he chooses. They have no respect or regard for your dreams/purpose. If you value your dreams, you shouldn’t be with such a man because he will just end up choking you to death.

#3 – He can’t handle your temperament

Everyone has a temperament; some other people call it personality. The wrong man always complains about the things in your temperament that makes you who you are. God made us all who we are. Our background and experiences also contributes to who we are. When I say temperament here, I mean those aspects of you that are natural or core to you. For instance, if you’re a naturally reserved person, the wrong man for you is one who complains that you’re too quiet. If he wants a boisterous person, he should simply go for one! If you’re a lively person, the wrong man is one who complains that you’re too lively. The right man loves you the way you are; whether you’re lively or reserved. He may complain if you take it out of proportion, but he basically accepts you as you are.

#4 – Fans you into foolishness

The wrong man for you is any man who encourages you to do stupid and foolish things that are against your personal principles and bring out the worst in you. If he always unconsciously or consciously brings out the worst in you, he is not good for you. Check your life since you met him; has he brought out the best, the worst or the foolishness in you? The answer will tell you if he is the man for you or not.

#5 – Does not contribute to your improvement

Iron sharpens iron; the right man’s presence in your life over time will make you a better, more refined, more fruitful woman. A man of worth will add to you tremendously with time and I’m not referring to money. If all he is contributed to your life so far is getting you addicted to booze, clubbing, sex, twerking etc., sister, he’s not good for you.

Please note that every man is good, but not every man is good for you as a person. You may like him a lot and he may love you to pieces but you may both be unsuitable for each other. Water and fire are good individually. However, both do not mix because one quenches the other. The wrong man may not be bad or nasty as a person but when the two of you come together, the combination is unsuitable or sometimes lethal. When you let go of the wrong man, you open the door for God to lead you to the right one.

P:S – Over to you dear reader. Can you think of any other signs? Add them in the comments section. 

Do you have any private issues you want to raise or discuss on life, relationships, work etc.? Would you like to advertise with us? I'm just an email away! Email me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com

 

Evidence Grace is the founder and head-blogger at Sister 2 Sister Nigeria. She's passionate about seeing people get it right in life, destiny and marriage. A woman of many gifts, and talents, she is focused on fulfilling God's purpose for her life, becoming ALL God has fore-ordained her to be and spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. Her marital status? Keep your fingers crossed.

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How to Spot THE MAN 2

MAN TO WOMAN

Today, on our column MAN TO WOMAN,  which is all about getting a man's perspective on different issues that have to do with women, Paul Aliyu shares 6 more tips on how to spot the man. Juicy tips, I tell you. Read and share with someone around you. 

How to Spot THE MAN 2
Written by Paul Aliyu

This post is a sequel to an earlier post on the same topic. Today, our guest blogger Paul Aliyu shares 6 more ways to spot the man God has for you. To read the previous post, click here. This is one blogpost you need to save on your phone, print out and read it to the point that it sinks into your spirit and your mind. Another thing, do a sister a favour and share this with her. Happy reading.

7. He should be matured enough to recognize you as the “BONE OF HIS BONE” and the “FLESH OF HIS FLESH”
A man that cannot see you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh is not fit for you. Such a man is unhealthy for you. A man that sees you as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh will not take advantage of you. He will not see you as a woman to be used and dumped. He will not treat you as a slave or maid. He will understand that you both are one. He will understand that existing without you is like living without life itself. He will show and prove to you that you complete him. He will place so much value on you and know you are meant for him without a doubt.
Until he is able to portray all this to you, then understand that he is not mature enough for you and he lacks understanding that you are God’s will for His life.

A man is called the GROOM on the wedding day because he must have GROOMED himself to understand that you are sent to him by God. His spiritual senses should be sound enough to know and differentiate when the Spirit of God is speaking from when emotion and flesh is speaking. By so doing, you will know when he is from God. It also means that your spiritual senses should also be activated. Don’t be driven by emotions but by the Spirit of God.

8. He should be ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to you as his wife
If he is not ready to leave his father and mother, and cleave to you as his wife, it shows he is not a man yet a man but a big boy. He is not ready for marriage yet. The man for you should be matured enough to make good decisions and handle things on his own that will benefit and profit his wife and the family you are both planning to raise. Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying he shouldn’t seek for counsel sometimes, but he should not be a man that runs to Dad, Mum or friends over every small issue in the relationship or home before making decisions on what to do. If he is that type of a man, I’m sorry to inform you that you are dating an “Omo Mummy (Mummy’s Boy).” I advise you give him some more time to stay behind with his parents and take some more milk (and maybe chew some more bones according to Apostle Paul) before considering marriage.

To cleave means that he understands that as his spouse, you are also a major contributor to every decision process in the house. It means he understands that nothing can be done without involving you as his wife. It also means that he understands that you are his partner and nothing goes forward without your contribution. He gives you room when you want to contribute to his life, vision and the family. He should be a man that values your contribution no matter how minute.
Attention! - With respect to this, every woman should endeavor to grow with her spouse. Bridge the gap between you both so that your contributions can commensurate the now. Try not to be outdated. Update yourself with time!

9. He will not be ashamed of you
A man that is meant for you will not be ashamed of you no matter your vulnerability, weakness, flaws, mistakes, etc. You know he is the man for you when he decides to live with you as his spouse despite all your flaws, and to help you with your weaknesses, help you overcome your fears, correct your mistakes in love and humility, and bring out the best in you. Rather than taking advantage of your flaws, he will seek to use that opportunity to mentor and bring out the best in you. He will see the POTENTIALS rather than the ERRORS or DEFFICIENCIES.

10. He will be ready to wait
The man for you will not be in a rush concerning anything (even sex) except he is in doubt or he isn’t sure you are meant for each other. If he is the one, he will be ready to WAIT. The big question is: if he waited all this while till he found you, what more does it cost him to wait patiently till he makes you his (you get married)??? A man that cannot be patient with you now will not be patient with you after marriage. If he is not ready to wait, let him go; and if he is in doubt, then he is not the man for you.
NOTE: At same time, don’t keep him waiting for too long. If you have prayed and you are sure he is the one for you, go ahead. Delay at times can be dangerous! Avoid unnecessary delay.

11. He will bring you closer to God
You must understand that “whatever is from God returns to God.” Relationships or homes are built by God. Seek and desire a man that will always pull you closer to God. Such a relationship will always lean on God for anything and when God is involve, anything can be resolved. When a man is from God (i.e. he is God’s will), he will always seek for God’s will to be done. You cannot accomplish God’s will outside God. A man from God will support and encourage anything that concerns and represents God in your life and relationship.

12. He will make you be at peace, and feel loved and valued
The gift God gives makes rich and adds no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). The right man will always make you be at peace, secure, loved and convinced in your heart that he’s the one for you. But remember that, “all that glitters is not gold.” As convincing as it may seem, make sure you do it prayerfully and not out of emotions or desperation. The man for you will make you feel valued, loved and peaceful, and priced before his family and friends.

Prepare Yourself Now!!!
A popular Nigerian pidgin idiom goes thus “better soup, na money kill am” meaning “soup that is delicious is the result of the MONEY SPENT on it.” It is also often said that, “nothing good comes easy.”… It is so unfortunate in this present generation that we all want to sleep and wake up the next day with all our needs already served on the table (the already-made generation). Nobody wants to work for anything anymore. We are now in an age where we all want the soup to be super DELICIOUS but we’re not ready to SPEND THE MONEY (as well as time, study, sacrifices, prayers, etc) required. Good things don’t just come; they are worked/prepared for. So also, people now want to dream and wake up the next day and discover their ‘God-sent’ Spouse. It does not work like that; God is not a Magician! “Your PREPARATION will determine HOW WELL you will PASS that EXAMINATION.” Don’t just pray for the right man, BECOME THE RIGHT WOMAN. Work on yourself and on your character so you can become the right woman. Don’t you know that THE MAN also has expectations of what he wants in his wife??? If he can’t see those things in you, he will not make you his wife. May God expand everything you’ve learnt so far and show you how to spot the right man for you and how to become the right woman in Jesus name.

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Keep a date with us next WEEK on MAN TO WOMAN as we share a new juicy topic. What will it be? Keep your fingers crossed to find out. 

P:S Did you enjoy this post? Were you enlightened by it? Share it with someone around you.

Paul E. Aliyu is a young man who is passionate about God and the things of God. He is a missionary who has been in the mission field in Tanzania and is always willing to yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is passionate about inspiring progress and bringing out the best in youths. What's more, he's single!

Follow us on twitter here and like our facebook page here. 



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