Sunday Inspiration-It’s Not Too Late

The words we open ourselves to and focus on, fuel or halt us. Watch what you expose yourself to.

It’s not too late to start afresh, to retrace your steps or take a detour when you notice you’re on the wrong path.

It’s not too late to repair that broken relationship with your family member or friend.

It’s not too late to start that business you’ve always dreamed of, to start chasing your dreams or fulfilling purpose.

It’s not too late to ask for forgiveness or forgive those who hurt you.

It’s not too late to switch, to let go of that habit, to change your circle of friends.

It’s not too late to dream again, even though your last dreams came crashing down before your eyes.

It’s not too late to take one more shot at love and life. 

 If it’s not working, maybe you should change your strategy this time. How about asking those who’ve successfully done what you’re trying to? They might help you find the missing link. Don’t conclude on that matter yet; if Thomas Edison did so, we wouldn’t have electricity and enjoy all the perks we presently.

It’s not too late to come out of that relationship that’s going no-where and that toxic relationship that has lasted for years.

It’s not too late to write that book, sing that song, get that education, attend that course or do whatever it is you have in mind.

It’s not too late to take responsibility for that child you denied and abandoned.

It’s not too late to repair your relationship with God; he’s not angry with you, he’s willing to receive you back and forgive all you’ve done. He’s forgiven murderers and adulterers before; you won’t be the exception.

It’s not too late to ask for a miracle, for God is still in the business of working miracles.

It’s not too late to get your confidence and self-esteem back.

If you’re in pain now, cheer up, you will get better. Cry if you must, but clean your eyes, move on and face life. Winners never quit, quitters never win. The only people who it’s presently too late for are those who are six feet below with a death certificate that they can’t even use. Life is a gift, life is precious. Make the most of it. Don’t let anything steal your faith in God or your will to live.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. In all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. What then can we say? If God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8 28, 37 & 31)

Have an awesome week ahead.

P.S: Stinginess is when you read this and refuse to share it with those you know so they can be fuelled and revived too.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here.

Work-Place Wisdom

No man is an island; to successfully work with others, you need wisdom!!!

The working environment is quite different and has its own rules and etiquette. To successfully work there, you need wisdom and plenty of it; otherwise you’ll get into a lot of tight corners that will most likely affect you badly. Proverbs 4:7 says: “wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom…” In plain English, wisdom is simply knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it and when not to take action. Today, I’ll be sharing a few tit-bits that will help you act with wisdom while you work, just five of them actually. More tit bits will come in future posts so stay hooked to the blog to get them all.

#1-Dress the Part

In acting, actors don’t get to dress randomly; they have to dress according to the part their playing per time as the script demands. The same thing applies to you. There’s a difference between the work place and any other place. I’m sure you do understand that you should dress according to your office’s sector or industry, but it is also important to dress modestly and moderately. You’re not going for a wedding, a party or any other informal event. Avoid loud jewelry (except your work demands it) and provocative outfits that will end up distracting or harassing your co-workers. They came to work too, not to have a sneak-peep of your “assets” and watch soft porn. Except if you’re a hooker on a mission to get customers and you are in need of sexual harassment from your colleagues and your superiors.

#2- Give it Your Bestest Shot

Yep! If your goal is to soar high in your life, you must give not just your best, but your “bestest” in everything you do, including your work. Every action is a seed, and you’ll surely reap a harvest in due time. Don’t let the fact that your present pay check is not much deter you. Let excellence be your watch word. Someday quite soon, your excellence will get you a referral that will take you to the next level in your career.

#3-Go With Your Shock Absorbers

Oh yeah, just like the shock absorbers found in a car, you need to take your emotional shock absorbers to work with you. Be prepared for anything the day at work may bring. As much as we wish that things will always go smoothly, sometimes, crazy things happen at work. Be prepared for any nasty attitudes your co-workers, customers and superiors may exhibit at work and you won’t be thrown off balance when things go wrong. That’s what shock absorbers are meant for: to absorb shock and make the impact less harmful.

#4-Be on Top of Your Game 

Don’t be a figure head; strive to be the best at what you do. Get information that will make you better and what you do and apply it. Use the internet, google it if you have to. Expand your usefulness overtime. As the years advance, you should be better at what you do; not the same as or worse than you were years ago. Look for better, effective and modern ways to do what you do and soon, you’ll reap the dividends.

#5-Leave Personal Problems at Home 

I admit this is not easy but it is not impossible either. It’s quite hard to focus on work when something is eating you up and your heart is breaking to pieces. But, it’s necessary for you to find a way to ensure that your personal problems don’t begin to affect you at work. Get emotional management skills; learn to mentally leave your issues at home. How? Watch your thought patterns, block out all thoughts that related to your personal issues, let your thoughts dwell on the task at hand instead. See a counselor, confide in someone that can help if you have to. Ask for grace and pray it out. Whatever it is that will restore your peace of mind, that isn’t harmful or negative, do it to make sure your effectiveness at work is not affected.

Happy Sunday and have an awesome working week.

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here.

12 Signs You’re Not Ready For Marriage PT 2

This is a sequel to a post I did months ago on this blog. In the previous post, I shared the first six signs that show you’re not ready for marriage and today, I’ll be sharing the remaining six signs. To view the first part of this blogpost, click here. Without much ado, let’s dive into it.

#7- You’re not Ready to Take S**t

 You remember all those rantings of yours that sound like this “I’m not going to take s**t from anyone oooo” and “if my husband/wife tries that eh, I’ll beat the hell out of him/her or give it to him fire for fire”? Those things are what single people say until they get married and discover that to stay married, you have to learn to be tolerant and that involves putting up with a lot of s**t from your spouse, in-laws and even your kids. No one is perfect on this side of the universe, everybody comes with a dose of s**t that they dish out from time to time. People who are ready to get married learn to live with such.

#8- You’re Waiting for A Perfect Man

Oya ooo, no shoot me abeg. I know you want to find the man that is perfect for you but that is different from wanting to find a perfect man. There is no perfect man or woman anywhere, waiting to find one will have you waiting for eternity. Everyone, as good as they are, comes with weaknesses and if you take them, you must take them with both their good and not so good sides. In case you’ve forgotten, you’re not perfect yourself.

#9- You’re Not Ready to be Responsible

Why do you think they use the phrase “settle down” to refer to marriage? Because marriage is for mature people and it requires you being responsible. You’ve got to be ready to have and raise kids, handle the bills and attend to all the responsibilities that come with marriage. It’s not enough to be called the man or woman of the house, you gotta act like one. Your spouse, kids, family and even in-laws start looking up to you when you get married and you gotta be prepared to act accordingly.

#10- Not Ready To Be Faithful

Now this one is a biggie. One of the core demands of marriage is faithfulness. No one likes their spouse cheating on them. If you’re planning to have your cake and eat it in marriage by being unfaithful then you’re definitely not ready for marriage. And before you start complaining about how hard it is to stay married to the same person for life and be faithful, ask those who have gone ahead of you and they’ll give you useful tips.

#11- Not Ready To Be Open

If you’re planning to get married and not be open, you’ll be starting on a wrong footing. While you may want to cite stories of people who tried to be open to their spouses and it only brought trouble, why not focus on your life and leave other peoples ish alone instead. It is in your power while dating/courting to learn how to be open and encourage your would-be spouse to be open. It is only people who have and intend to have more skeletons in their cupboard that go into marriage seeking to hide stuff and keep secrets.

#12- You Have Trust Issues and Can’t Control Your Jealousy 

No relationship or marriage can succeed where trust is broken. If you have trust issues, get the needed help so you can learn to trust again. All that excessive display of jealousy will only weary out whoever you’re with. You can’t tie your spouse down in marriage or stop him/her from relating with the oppose sex. You guys will have to move to Mars or Jupiter where there is no other human being. The ability to trust and control your jealousy is a hallmark of maturity that you must have for a successful marriage.

Voila! C’est fini! Now that you’ve read all the twelve signs that show that you’re not ready for marriage, do some soul searching to remove the beam in your eyes while I do likewise. God help us all.

P.S: Stinginess is when you read this and refuse to share it with those you know. Foolishness is when you read it and don’t apply it to your life. Wickedness is when you don’t tell someone how much you’ve been blessed so far by this blog. And I know you’re not stingy, foolish or wicked. Xoxo

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Are You Suffering From “Saviour Syndrome”???

It is easier for a rotten fish to spoil a good fish than it is for a good fish to make a rotten fish good.

Aha!! I bet you’ve never heard of the savior syndrome before; that’s because I coined that term to refer to a popular sickness common to ladies especially “good girls” or “christian girls”. Saviour syndrome is a disease caused by the “I can change him” virus that usually plagues ladies. And you know what, once this virus catches you eh, you become a missionary whose sole mission is to change a guy by dating him. Yes, you begin to see yourself as the saviour and messiah sent into that guy’s life to change him for the better. Are you suffering from this syndrome? Keep reading eh, you’re about to find out.  

How Do You Know You Have This Disease?

To know if you’ve got a disease, you have to look out for the symptoms, isn’t it? Here are symptoms of the saviour syndrome.

1. You think the guy is nice and caring but you notice a few vices you’re not comfortable with (such as smoking, drinking, battering, lying, cheating etc) and you believe you can change him. 
2. He doesn’t go to church, have a future ambition/life pursuit and you intend to make him have these by the time he starts dating you. 
3. You are prepared to nag him, threaten him with a break-up etc until he changes. 
4. This is not your first time of doing this; you’re constantly always meeting or dating guys who you intend to “change”.

If you find these symptoms in your dating habit, choice and pattern, you need treatment very fast.

Are You A Learner?

Yes ooooo, are you a learner??? Were you born yesterday? Those who have lived long enough know that you can’t change another human being, you can only influence them. And if you think the word “change” and “influence” are the same, check your dictionary and you’ll see that they are two totally different things. It gets harder when it’s someone you’re dating and it’s a guy. First of all, he thinks he’s okay as a person and secondly, if he wasn’t good enough, you wouldn’t have accepted him in the first place. Don’t get me wrong; people do actually change, but it’s not because someone forced or threatened them, it’s because they decided to change from within. Your words can only be an encouragement to change, not the actual reason for the change. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “men are hunters” right? What this means is that they may adapt or change tactics just to “catch” you and when they’re sure they’ve caught you, then just like a chameleon, they’ll change back to their original form. If you think I’m lying, ask a few older, experienced and married people you know and a few guys who will be sincere with you. That saviour syndrome of yours will only have you wasting your time pouring water on a stone.

Oh Girl, Wake Up!!!

It is easier for a rotten fish to spoil a good fish than it is for a good fish to make a rotten fish good. Instead of trying to turn a rotten fish to a good fish when you’re not a magician and you’re not Jesus, why not run for ya life? Quit that habit of hooking up with a guy and trying to change him. If he hasn’t changed because of God, why do you think he will change because of you? Besides, who sent you on such a mission? If God is leading you to do so, that’s different. But don’t go dating guys with a view to changing them; it doesn’t work that way. You may be thinking you’ve succeeded because he appears to be no longer doing those things and even follows you to church but I tell you, wait until he marries you; your story will become the next nollywood movie and join the list of stories that touch the heart. A word they say is enough for the wise. I’m out! Check out a similar helpful post here.

P.S: If I appear to be ranting, it’s because it’s a serious matter. And if you’re a guy with this syndrome, you need to quit it too. What isn’t good for the goose can’t be good for the gander either. Love you all. Xoxo

Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here

Self-Esteem: Something Every Girl Needs

Look in the mirror: What do you see? What You See Affects How You Act. Selah!

Hello Everyone, how’s the month of July treating you? Fine, I hope? As for me, the month is great and will only get greater as the days pass by, even though I still miss my birth month (June). I wish you a splendid July and a testimony filled 2^nd half of the year. The theme on the blog for this month is SELF ESTEEM and so all through this month, aside from other blogposts, there will be posts on self esteem regularly. I’ll also be releasing the sequel to two interesting old posts “12 Signs You’re Not Ready For Marriage”and “10 Signs You’ve Caught The Bitterness Virus” within the month so keep your fingers crossed. Now to the topic of the day…

Self-esteem and self-confidence are two sides of one coin that every girl needs. They are like a sweet smelling perfume that you need to wear daily otherwise you may become as repulsive as someone with a very bad case of body odour. Self-esteem is defined as “a person’s overall appraisal of his/her own worth” while self-confidence is defined as “a measure of your beliefs about your thinking capacity, skills and abilities” (advancedlifeskills.com). Your self-confidence affects your self-esteem veeeeeeery much. Personally I see self-esteem as a battery that powers our actions and moving with a low-self esteem is like running a mobile phone on low battery; there’s a limit to what you can do with a phone that has a low battery. 

Low Vs High Vs Good Self-Esteem

Too much of everything, they say, is bad and too little of anything is just not enough. Just like having too much salt in a meal makes it almost impossible to eat it and too little salt makes the food bland and simply tasteless, a high or low self-esteem will produce distorted and harmful actions and reactions in your life. One thing an overly high self-esteem does is move you into pride and arrogance. You begin to feel smarter and better than everyone with an “I’m better than you all attitude” and eventually begin to look down on others. A low self-esteem catapults you into shyness and inferiority complex, so you begin to feel you’re not good enough and it eventually zaps you of the confidence you need to succeed in life. A good self-esteem, just like a meal with the right amount of salt and ingredients, is the right kind of self-esteem you need. A good self-esteem is one in which you know that you’re not lesser or greater than anyone but that you’re a unique individual, different from everyone with unique abilities and capabilities. It comes from knowing your strengths and weaknesses and being content with who you are,  knowing that everyone also has strengths and weaknesses, self-respect and also respect for others. I call it the perfect blend.

Why You Need a Good Self-Esteem

A high self-esteem makes you appear proud before others and everyone resists the proud, even God (James 4:6). “Resists” here means that people tend to work against proud people saying things like “who does she think she is? I’ll show her” and God does so too. A low self-esteem makes you appear unintelligent and incompetent and you’ll get passed over most times for tasks or jobs. It also makes you look like an easy target or a prey and so it manipulators and attracts abusers your way. A good self-esteem is simply mwaah! It makes you attractive and confident, easy to roll with and the “darling” of employers. Just like a sweet perfume, it makes you smell nice before the people you interact with. It also affects the way you perceive things and respond to matters by making you know how to handle compliments and criticism. Compliments to someone with a low self esteem sounds like a lie and for those with an excessively high esteem, it puffs them up and makes them more proud. Criticism to those with low self-esteem destroys them completely while it sounds like a lie to those with a high self esteem. Long story short, girl you need to check your self-esteem and make sure it’s not too high or too low.

More on self-esteem as the month rolls by. Stay hooked to the blog. Have a lovely day.

P:S Are you at a crossroad? Do you need advice or counsel on lady issues, relationship matters and life in general?  E-mail me on graceyokoye@yahoo.com and I’ll be glad to help.

Follow us on twitter @sister2sisterni and like our facebook page here